The Other Side of the Glass

Beam me up, Scotty

2011-12-13T21:35:00.004-06:00

Beam me up, Scotty.

I'm pretty sure, from the work I do with adults and with babies -- yeah, they tell me they don't want to be here -- that most of us felt this when we arrived on this planet with our first experience and encounters being very brutal.

Image from film -- father's story about how he moved his hands in and caught his baby after doctor told him he was not allowed to massage his own wife's perineum. He wouldn't let go of baby when doctor wanted father to cut the cord. "I thought it was a trick to make me let go of the baby!"

Check out the doctor -- wouldn't he seem like a mean, cruel alien to a vulnerable new being who is designed for connection and love? Gowns, gloves, head caps, and plastic shield-mask on to protect himself from the mother's germs. Doesn't he look a little alien? Probing nose and mouth of new being? When it is known to do no good, but to cause emotional and physical harm, and to disrupt breastfeeding. Cuz, babies remember it!! Something coming into their face, causing fear and pain that hurt their mouth and throat and interfered with breathing and swallowing. DUH!

Yesterday on my radio show, Thought Crime Radio: Voices for Human Rights of Babies (And by babies, I mean YOU!) we really went "out there" and compared alien abduction reports to obstetrical abuse.
This site, UFO abductions, describes the typical alien abduction experience. Where this description uses Abduction or Alien I interchanged a word for human birth. Hee, hee. But, actually, it is scary. Eery scary.

Straight Talk About UFO Abductions

A Typical Abduction Event
http://www.ufoabduction.com/straighttalk.htm

(Births) Abductions are complex series of events and procedures directed by the (medical caregiver) abductors to passive or controlled (women) abductees. In a typical or common (birth)abductions, humans are taken out of their normal environment by (their loved ones) aliens. The people are rendered passive and cannot resist. They are taken aboard a (hospital) UFO, their clothes are removed and they are made to lie on a table. A series of physical, mental, and productive procedures are then administered to the subjects. People's physical bodies are probed and examined. (The baby is removed from the woman). Sperm is taken, eggs are harvested.

The (medical caregivers) aliens perform staring procedures during which they gaze into (baby’s) abductees' eyes at at distance of only an inch or two. These "mindscan" procedures appear to be neurological manipulations which give the (medical caregivers) aliens the ability to "enter into" peoples' minds.

After the table procedures, (women) abductees report that they are sometimes taken into other rooms where they are required to have skin on skin contact with unusual looking babies. (women are not really sure which baby is theirs). (Women) Abductees say that these babies seem to be crosses between humans and aliens. They call them "hybrids."

Abductees also see hybrid toddlers, older youth, adolescents, and adults.

Sometimes abductees report that they are required to perform tasks, that they are "tested" in some way. They say that machines are brought in to examine them. They sometimes are required to have a form of sexual intercourse with other humans, and sometimes with adolescent and adult hybrids. They are returned to their normal environment and within seconds, they forget what has just happened to them.

What do you think!? Wow, we had some callers!! Whew.
My question isn't really do aliens exist and are abduction stories true? Personally, I feel that if humans on this planet are the highest beings in our Universe, we are F'd!! My question is, "How can society not wonder about the experience of the baby and do everything possible to protect the mama-baby connection so humans feel safe, nurtured, connected ... rather than fearful, in pain, and lost/abandoned?"
Think about it, feel about it ... how could the baby who depended on the mother for everything, who knew nothing but her, want anything else?

Wake up and see the truth about child abuse

2011-12-05T15:10:00.002-06:00

Today, I got an email message from Child Abuse Prevention project sponored by Pepsi Corporation. Sorry, you have to leave this page to view it. Stay here and read this first and then go view it. It is one example of the propagation of propaganda and lies that keeps us entrenched in very wrong thinking and action. THINK about what we are allowing to be promoted day in and day out with our complicity and our purchases and our silence.

It is a contest entry in their project that says:

Security blankets filled with parenting info for new parents in MT!

I know the young mom is well-intended. I never doubt that. But honestly, and being kind as possible, she is a Sheeple. We all are until we are not. Until we wake up and see the lies.

I just get very, uhm, upset and angry about the MISinformation, and I am, uhm, pretty much outraged at the lack of truth and the lack of real intervention into stopping the real abuse: the obstetric abuse of human babies in their first few minutes. Preserving mama-baby relationship is only way to prevent child abuse and the majority of whatever else ails us in this country.

A few years ago I had this card done. It's easy to hand out and leave places. It's big, 4x 6 and colorful. Let me know if you'd like some to hand out. You can buy them from Vista Prints.

So, today, the constant bombardment of misinformation from the media pipeline just got to me. It does every day. Anything about Child Abuse Prevention, my life long interest since kindergarten when I took a girl home with me from school to live at my house when she said she was being abused, to my twenty-eight years as professional person as a counselor in many settings to finally working for two state systems, always "fighting the systems" to make them more what woman and child truly need.

When I was introduced to birth trauma via infant massage training and the Association of Pre and Perinatal Psychology and Health the real child abuse prevention became crystal clear and so simple. So, I thought. Twelve years, a website and two blogs, and a film later, I am just absolutely dismayed that our culture continues to promote all sort of programs and projects purported to end the disorders, dysfunctions, and diseases that ORIGINATE in the meddling of birth, in the separation of the mama-baby, and in the abuse of the newborn baby. The research is clear and always has been from Harry Harlow, PhD in 50-70's, Jame Prescott, PhD (70's to now), and now Darcia Narvaez, Ph.D - medical birth is traumatizing to the mama-baby, both together and as individuals. I'm been focusing on fathers are harmed. Our survival as a species, as humane humans, depends upon us "getting this" - that birth is a powerful, defining moment for the baby, the mother, the father. We LIVE the consequences of disruption and violence and violation of the baby and mother and father every day and it is the myriad of social, spiritual, psychological, emotional, and physical dysfunctions, disorders, and diseases we try to fix with money, and frankly, more wrong intervention and drugs, that is killing humanity.

Today, this ad in my gmail box flipped my switch. I posted on Facebook and share it here, in it's unedited rawness, my response to "Security blankets filled with parenting information". It is the "INFORMATION" part that really trips my trigger, but yeah, in a "security blanket"....

It's already "one of those days" (existential angst about what is done to humans in the first moments and hours of life under the guise of science and help) and this ... when is society going to see the mis-treatment of the newborn as child abuse. You wanna "prevent child abuse"?!? HUH!?!? STOP SEPARATING MAMA-BABY and stop ABUSING NEWBORNS with big, fat lies. It is CHILD ABUSE to separate the mama-baby, to separate the baby-placenta, and it's CHILD ABUSE to scrub, rub, poke, prod, shoot, suction, bulb, put hat on, and yes, even wrap the baby in the security blanket. Step away, I just need to step away. NO, you need to step away. Step away from the baby. Right now, STEP. AWAY. FROM. THE. BABY-MAMA. She can friggin' figure it out on her own. THAT is what prevents child abuse. NO, I am not done yet.

I continue in the comments:

Lordess of Mercy, folks, a WOMAN is a divine creation of nature. She can conceive, build, sustain - CREATE another human being in her body, and then grow and sustain it with her body/milk ... with NO OUTSIDE, MEDICAL intervention. She can g...ive birth to that same being and she can KNOW what to do .. if you stop indoctrinating women with failure, SHE KNOWS WHAT TO DO AT BIRTH ... even if she fumbles at bit, that is HER LEARNING how, it HER CONNECTING her baby so that she KNOWs, so that she is BONDED to that baby, and that, my friends, IS THE GREATEST CHILD PREVENTION ON THE PLANET. And, it means leave your F'in' hands off her and his baby (daddy).

and,

And, you know what else? Parenting info? Parenting tips tucked in the security blanket? Tools of indoctrination ... promoting vaccines, coupons for formula, warnings about co-sleeping, lies about SIDS, and nothing about carrying baby for ni...ne months that science shows is what the HUMAN BRAIN needs, but instead the lies preparing for the ongoing medical domination over them, so they'll shoot them full of chemicals and send them off to public school?

and,

How about MOTHERING and FATHERING information. TWO different forms of caring for children. STOP diluting MOTHERING and FATHERING, the needs of human beings, into the neutral, manipulated label of PARENTING that diminishes the full spectrum of parenting .... and yeah, two women and two men can do it ... mothering and fathering.

and,

And, here's a tip ... if a big billion dollar corporation is funding it, the campaign, or whatever, like Pepsi here, which is basically poison, RUN. Run fast in the opposite direction. Don't be lured into their webs of deceit. Don't support it. Big corporations promoting the lies, and creating exactly what they purport to be "fighting" or ending. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.
Still not done .... I will not be done til my last breath, and I will not be done until this culture sees the impact of what has been done to nearly every human being for generations .... NEWBORN ABUSE ... when the sentience of the human newborn is ignored and educated, professional, licensed medical people are allowed to separate mama-baby and abuse newborns, right in front of the disempowered daddy.

Time to wake up, folks. Time to see the pain and suffering we experience our whole lives if from the earliest experiences of being violated and separated .... from the mother, from the father, from love and connection. We have to do our inner work to heal and to engage in action to end this child abuse. I bet my life on it, that the abuses, the dysfunctions, the disorders, and diseases for which we have billions of dollars for "treatment" will not exist if we PROTECT THE MAMA-BABY in the most powerful, defining moment of their relationship together.

The back of my card:

Who Does Birth Belong To?

2011-11-15T01:02:00.001-06:00

Women? Doctors? Midwives? Fathers? the Baby?

We all own birth. We must, as adults, come to resolution regarding our own birth as a baby and the birthing of our babies as women. Men also need to come to self-resolution about his own experience as a birthing baby and as as father when his baby is born. Birth is the baby's experience of coming into being. It is the baby's birth and the mother's experience of giving birth. It is a profound experience for both of them, and for the father.

Birth is the baby's transition into this world and into physiological independence. The baby is powerless to make choices and depends upon the mother, father, and caregiver to know that she or is a sentient, real, feeling, experiencing being. Therefore, the baby must be treated with respect when we know that everything happening to the baby is being recorded in his or her body, mind, and soul. Is it a coincidence that this body-mind-soul perspective is growing in the US with people who seek to be who they are meant to be on this planet?

The baby -- you and me, our children, and everyone we know -- experienced his or her birth. Most were violent and painful, and involved separation, and boy's genitals were mutilated. The baby deserves to be the focus of birth. As a vulnerable human being who is powerless, voiceless and totally dependent upon the parents and the caregivers (via social and cultural standards of care) deserves to be treated as the one who is most impacted, the one who will live with the impact of their birth throughout life. That baby, every one of us, throughout our life has to live with the choices of the adults. We have to own our birth and our life. That's the deal. But modern psychology and medicine are either really dumb or they lie to us, have deceived and brainwashed culture in a very nasty game. We don't play with a full deck in this game if we ignore what happened to us at birth as baby being born. When we embrace our birth - the violation, the love, the fear, the bliss - the choices that others made for us, then we realize the need to protect the baby's experience during birth.

When birth focuses only on the woman, it leaves out the baby whose birth it is, and the man who is being a father. I believe it is the men who need to rise up to create this change. This is a plan I did in 2004 for a collective perspective for people to come together to organize change.

© May, 2004 Janel Martin-Miranda, MA, LPC

MOMS
for America’s

B A B I E S

——————————————————————————————-
MOMS for America’s Babies
is a partnership of citizens who purpose is legislating improvement of the
maternal safety, care and treatment of women and their babes
——————————————————————————————-
Creating partnerships for change at all levels:
The healthy, safe birth of every baby in American depends upon consumers of maternity care, maternal health care providers, policy makers, legislators, and concerned citizens coming together.

Supporting prenatal development through infancy:
Healthy, functional, non-violent, drug-free American children and citizenry depends upon healthy, gentle conception, gestation, labor, birth, and infancy.

Moms are Organizing Maternity Safety for America’s Babies
Moms Owning Maternal Safety
Men Ordering Maternal Safety
Medicine Optimizing Maternal Safety
Midwifes Offering Maternal Safety

Moms for America’s Babies Partners:

Moms Owning Maternal Safety
Women claim their right, their choice, and their responsibility for their body and their
baby’s birth from pre-conception through infancy.

Men Ordering Maternal Safety
Men are the rightful protectors of their partner and child, and they demand to be
supporter and protector of their partner’s decisions in birthing their baby.

Medicine Optimizing Maternal Safety
Doctors are no longer held disproportionately responsible for the outcomes of birth,
Doctors are able to focus on providing maternity care that is evidenced-based, and
do not control women’s choice over her body and her baby’s birth.

Midwifes Offering Maternal Safety
Midwives are the bridge between natural, physiological ways and new technology,
and between women and medicine; and they are the protector of women’s bodies
and the physiological process of natural birth, and attend birth of healthy women
and babies.

My father passed away

2011-03-01T22:29:00.005-06:00

My father, Rev. Charles A. Martin passed away on Monday, February 21, 2011 about 6 pm. I was blessed to "be with" him in his journey from his earthly life to his new life since he was admitted to the VA medical center on February 7th. I was with him during his eight day stay in the VA and the last three days of his life in a nursing facility.

My daughter stopped by the hospital the night of her court-warming dance so we could see her dressed up. We had learned that day that he had less than two weeks to live but I waited until the next day to tell her.

Being with dad is the reason I relocated to MO: to be with my parents in their last years and days. Being with my dad during his transition was one of the most profound experiences of my life. I am very blessed to be with him in the most spiritual, intimate part of living - his dying, passing from this life to a new life, as he was with me in my birthing. Through his courage, faith, and vulnerability, I experienced some of the greatest fathering of my life.

My sister and I were planning his celebration of his life/family gathering for Saturday, February 26 when dad and I learned on February 12th that he had less than 2 weeks to live without dialysis. He was in so much pain from another infliction that was incurable that he chose to die with grace and not do dialysis. He had been ready for a long time to go be with Jesus and chose not to live a stressful, poor quality life extending him a few months. As it turns out the 26th truly was his day of our family celebration of his life, his funeral. Another one will be in his/my hometown in Iowa on March 4.

I am keeping my goal of completing the film by my dad's birthday, May 21st and launching it for Father's Day. I hope to premier it in Los Angeles on June 15th and plan to do the Canadian premiere in Montreal on June 20th. It will be even more important to me now to honor my father on Father's Day as this is really is his story.

Looking through my mom's amazing geneology books, I found this newspaper clipping. No wonder I'm doing this film.

My dad was present at my birth in 1956 and at my five siblings' births, from 1949 to 1970. Long before women were fighting to have their husbands with them my dad was there. His last child was born before it was a popular idea and a fight in the 70's. My father was one of the first men to be impacted by witnessing the violence and trauma inflicted upon his wife and baby and having no way to stop it, and no place and no one with whom to process it. My early primal self, my inner baby, my preverbal self who experienced his presence, his pain, our pain, our separation and union at my birth has known this. I've really just begin to understand myself, my dad, and our family in the making of this film. I wish we'd had longer, of course. I had just gotten to know an aspect of him I'll forever cherish.

For the first year and a half of the filmmaking my dad worried about me driving around the country, back and forth, and just wanted me to get a real job! I am glad my dad recently got to see the intro and the closing of the film, and to see himself in it. He was pretty proud of it, and me, and he did understand the overall multiple focuses of the film, and the magnitude of the film, and he appreciated my accomplishment. I have a strong faith in the spiritual world and with our connections to all things and beings, here and there. I know he's still guiding me and telling his story ... the story of so many men in our culture.

The solution is ...

2011-01-01T19:54:00.008-06:00

"The Other Side of the Glass" covers a broad spectrum ... from the Soul and consciousness, to some primal brain development, to father's stories of their experiences, to how the medical system is a war machine, and how fathers are disempowered by their own birth which most likely included circumcision.

I've read some comments that the film doesn't tell people/men/fathers what they can do. Yes, it does:

1) Don't go the hospital.

2) We Can Be Much Kinder and Do No Harm give the information about suctioning and cord clamping and give a website where you can copy a form by George M. Morley, MD, OB to give to your doctor saying "I do not give consent to cut the cord, to suction." But they don't honor birth plans and this is going to create another battle between mothers and doctors, midwives and doctors.

3) Rise up and demand reform of the system.

The problem is that hospital birth is a battle zone, and how do we legislate compassion, kindness and respect for the human newborn and the mama-baby dyad and mama-baby-daddy unity. We can't. We have to undergo a massive reform from the inside out. The point of the film is not just to give men the info they need. It's out there. Men know it; although I do share it. The point is that MEN ARE POWERLESS to protect their babies and partner in the hospital setting. IF you are lucky, you will have ONE medical staff member (out of 2-30 people) who respects birth as sacred event in your life, respects YOU and your baby and partner (as souls) and honors birth as THE most important brain development, foundation-building experience of your baby's life. You might count yourself a recipient of a true MIRACLE if you experience a COMPLETE team of medical staff members who KNOW THE SCIENCE, the REAL SCIENCE of physiology of birth and imprinting and pre and perinatal psychology, AND who have the INTENTION and AGENDA to create the most peaceful, empowering birth with the science -based GOAL of PRESERVING THE MAMA-BABY.

That is one of a few hypotheses put forward by my film ... we can create a healthy, happy, and harmonious humanity by keeping mother and baby intact. I suggest that the medical system is a conscious and unconscious system of disconnecting human beings from their mothers in order to yield power over them for their lifetime. Yes, I do believe SOME of them KNOW what they are doing. Others are just inflicting upon human newborns what happened to them and what they are indoctrinated to do. Preserve the system first; people, if it works out. When mother and baby are separated at THE TIME nature designed profound attachment and exquisite transitioning from the placenta to the breast, the mother will not believe in her own power as woman and mother; and, the baby's nervous system is imprinted with pain, separation, and fear and being saved by the system. All of it these days, since women and men won the right of the father's to be PRESENT and not on the other side of the glass. But he is still made impotent to protect his loved one. Men can not stop this during the birth of their baby WITHOUT being in a warrior, battling, warring mindset. Most often, he is going to lose the battle. Men feel like failures when they lose the battle. It's a very efficient intervention, medicalized birth is.

Baby girls and baby boys are being born in this environment of chaos, disempowerment, and battling. Then the boy is circumcised, and I propose, that perhaps this is why fathers freeze when strangers enter the room and dictate the most smallest of demands on what he can and can't do. It's likely why men stand powerless, emotionally frozen, hands over crotch while their partner and wife are abused and mutilated. Perhaps, this is why we have warrior mentality in our culture in everything we do -- being born into a environment of chaos, distrust, pain, and violence. I think so ... America "wars on" everything. From where does this mentality in America come? The war on poverty, hunger, drugs, crime, child abuse, war, cancer, even teen pregnancy and now texting. When America defines a "problem" it goes into battle to resolve it.

Fathers, whether circumcised or intact, but especially circ'd men, will NOT be able to protect their baby and partner in hospital setting. I propose that this distrust, fear, feeling of lack, and need to fight for everything is created in the early brain in the experience of leaving the womb. Rather coming naturally, drug free to our mother's arms and breast, in the safety of the father, we (society) are induced, drugged, and greeted by masked strangers with rough towels, rubber gadgets, and plastic tubes. We are taken to cubicles, bright lights, and further violated. And, that's a good birth that was vaginal. Cesarean birth is an additional experience of terror, confusion, and pain for the human brain designed for a totally different experience.

Today when couples are preparing for the safe, loving, empowering birth in the hospital they must prepare to battle, to fight for this. In 2011 we have to fight for what we have always known, fight against medical disruption -- a very recent development (100 years.) Many couples and baby lose the battle ... they do EVERYTHING right and still, they end up with a surgical birth, separation of baby prematurely from mother (cord cutting), and harsh treatment of the baby. They have to FIGHT to not have IV lines, to not be in bed, to be drug-free and not augmented and rushed on an artificial UN-scientific time table. They have to FIGHT to keep their baby IN THEIR ARMS, with no bulbing, immediate cord clamping, and suctioning, all done "in case" of the extremely rare case of meconium aspiration. ALL of these are shown to be damaging to the baby and yet they continue to do it. EVEN if it is necessary they can be expected to do so respectfully, gently, and in the mother's or father's arms. A mother and father have to prepare to fight to not have ointment, shots, measuring, and bathing - to simply keep the baby in their arms. The hospital environment PROMOTES separation of the human newborn from the mother, shown in the research for fifty years to be severely detrimental to the human being.

Everything developed to help empower women in their births ... birth plans, Doulas, fathers, Bradley method, hypnobabies, water ... eventually is met with oppositional force - the medical system and it's Faces ... the people ... educated, licensed, and state-sanctioned caregivers who do not have to follow the real science. There is no standard of care so every hospital in any city will have it's own policies, NOT based on science but history of litigation. In that hospital the doctor has his own preferences and on every shift the nurse has hers. They will all say what they do is "scientific". It is not. They are allowed to misuse science to increase their efforts to maintain the system's status quo. They say, "We are in charge." And, so that over time these effective things become less effective. THEN, the hospital staff and researchers (paid by Big Pharm companies) says, "Seee, it doesn't work". I believe the growing cesarean rate is a DIRECT result of the increasing battle between the hospital and the natural, physiological model of birth known as midwifery. It is about money and control.

I have a piece in the film where Marilyn Milos, RN and a few others made that point of the impact of men at HIS birth, being circumcised makes a man powerless at his child's birth. I make the point that MEN need to be the ones to rise up and change the system. And, here is ONE of the points of the film: Men can't protect their child IN the moment of giving birth ... and though that's where the movement has been going, where people thought this film was going, I am proposing that preparing to go to battle to have a natural, normal, gentle, intervention and drug free birth, and being respected in an environment that is controlled by a mentality that does not want that IS part of the development of the "war mindset".

The profoundly sad truth is that men can't stop what happens to their partner once they enter the hospital. Many are staying out of the hospital, and sometimes that is more dangerous, but most of the time it is not. But the point is, their choices are trampled on by laws that allow hospitals and doctors the power .. to slice open women without true need and then deny her access to a vaginal birth later based on money and litigation reasons. A birthing couples choices are trampled by the hospital system's ability to misuse science, such as forcing cesarean and circumcision, all upheld by powerful interests with monetary goals, not the well being of human BABIES. That would include ME and YOU and YOUR babies. WE are all victims of this medical mindset of controlling nature -- for over one hundred years. MEDICINE is the alternative, not nature. Circumcision is a big one.

Men, circumcised and non circumcised men, can rise up (no pun intended, just the right word) to change the system ... NOT when they are experiencing the birth of their baby. This is how men will protect their partner and babies, and protect humanity ... the empathy and connection needed to have the world we all say we want ... but alludes humans. It is a journey to seeing one's own birth experience as the foundational time for the life they are living now. It's a journey to embrace the process in a healing way. One of the ways we do that, as Marilyn Milos and father, Mike Hagan tell us ... to create the change, stop the harming. Men will protect their baby and future babies by demanding change of the medical model of obstetric care that harms our women, babies and men.

I am sad to say that for the father's facing going to the hospital today and this year, he is not going to be able to protect his baby. While I do share the science so that he can say, as DOCTORS advise him, "I do not give my consent for you to xyz", I also implore YOU to rise up and change the system for others. Men can be educated to know what the science it ... but when they are on the battle ground they are not in control. Men, take a friend with you; go with a friend to support him during birth but know until we stop the dynamic of the hospital environment in charge of birth, allowed to misuse science for their agenda, litigation avoidance and time management fathers, MEN, will be at the mercy of the hospital staff. Preparing to go there to have a sacred, natural, empowered, or just plain SAFE birth like men are led to believe, is a little like preparing to go to Kabul and open up a sweet little shop selling cookies and tea. Once one truly sees the extraordinary development of the brain, body, and being of the laboring, birthing, newborn baby and how "normal" medicalized birth represents torture to the newborn, this statement will not seem absurd. I do not say it lightly, with little regard for our troops. My son, an Army Lt deployed to both Iraq and Afghanistan is one of my greatest teachers in understanding this concept that many, many fathers began voicing to me.

It's time for the "battle" to be outside the hospital - in the legal and judicial system - and led by the men/fathers, defined by the men/fathers. DURING the labor and birth of his child a man is UNABLE TO PROTECT HIMSELF and his family. We need to create a system, a social expectation that medical caregivers BE THE ONES to change what THEY DO TO BABIES, women and men. Men either before or after they've experienced it need to rise up and create a new system. DEMAND legal changes be made that ensure that the baby is treated kindly, with respect, and that the mother-baby connection is preserved and protected. He will heal himself in the process and he will heal his baby and partner .. whatever happened to him and his family.

www.theothersideoftheglass.com

Take a Peek at the Film during Winter Solstice

2010-12-20T08:54:00.014-06:00

EXTENDED UNTIL MIDNIGHT TONIGHT!! DECEMBER 23rd!

Celebration of the Winter Solstice - December 21, 2010 and the birth of a Christ-Child, Andrew, December 23, 2005

Winter Solstice has been celebrated in cultures the world over for thousands of years and begins this year at 5:38 pm central, 6:38 Eastern. This start of the solar year is a celebration of Light and the rebirth of the Sun. Emperor Aurelian established December 25 as the birthday of the "Invincible Sun" in the third century as part of the Roman Winter Solstice celebrations. -- Selena Fox. This is the first time since since year 1 that we will have a lunar eclipse with a full moon at winter solstice. Whatever your beliefs, this is a powerful day in the universe and cosmos. NO one on the planet has experienced this before.

In celebration of the Winter Solstice, and Andrew's birthday, for whom the film is made, I will make available online a preview of my film, The Other Side of the Glass. This preview will include the Introduction, a short description of each of the 10 chapters, and the Closing of the film. It is about an hour; the final film in two parts will be almost four hours.

The film will be on Vimeo.com and available at www.TheOtherSideoftheGlass.com at 5:38 PM Central Time on Tuesday, December 21 until 10:25 AM Pacific/12:25 Central on December 23, 2010 an hour after the five-year anniversary of the birth of Andrew at 9:25 AM. Please leave your comments and feedback on the blog.

This film is for my daughter, her sons, and her husband. I have spent three years of my life to do this for them and I am willing to share it with you to heal them and you, and our planet. Every man needs to know this information -- what I have been taught on this journey by Andrew, his father, and men and amazing caregivers who have stepped up to care for women, babies, and men outside of the "norm" of the hospital. Every man needs to know this before conceiving, before becoming a father so that he is prepared. He has a right to be honored, and supported to have "his moment of awe" with his newborn child, to be respected by hospital caregivers who disrupt his moment and harm his loved ones. To deal with my broken heart about what happened to my own grandson, Andrew, and my daughter (his mother), and to his father, that I could not stop, I have continued, a one-woman crew to complete this film -- for Andrew, his mother, and father with a prayer and a hope for their healing.

My hope is that this film will support men to rise up and to demand that strangers stop abusing their babies, in the name of medicine; and that they build a system that honors men/fathers and his family's "moment of unity." This happens BEFORE the birth not during the birth. Every baby is at stake here, it is a community effort and needs to be led by the men ... to take back HIS power from the system that stole it from him at HIS birth. Men need to take back their power at the source, and it will comes from looking at the truth about the conscious of newborn human beings, a soul coming into a body. It will happen by looking at the US model of medicine, called the "war killing machine" by one physician, Gladys McGarey, MD, author of "Living Medicine".

Obstetrics is a tool of war, a money-maker, a conveyor belt father's tell us. Birth is the time in our lives, as babies and as mothers and fathers in the making, where separation, fear, and isolation are experienced. For the emerging human being this is his or her first experience of this world and it is imprinted in his or her nervous system. We come in as souls knowing wholeness and love and we are harmed and our nervous systems are "installed" with a program of fear, loss, and separation .. from the Mother and the Father. We seek our wholeness through spirituality, through seeking peace, but alas, we are programmed for war -- our inner and family and social war, and the global wars. We are called to change this ... one baby at a time, one father at a time, one doctor at a time. It's gonna take all of us and we will do so by being kind to the birthing baby, mother, and father.

This film brings together doctors and fathers to focus on the birthing of a baby into that family's life. It will be in two parts and approximately four hours in length. This preview is just over one hour. The full film is not simply about preparing men to fight for their babies right and to protect their partner and baby in the hospital environment. It is about looking at and changing the evolved need of men and women here in 2010 to need to prepare for battle just to have a loving, peaceful birth and to have the moment with their newborn that is programmed in us to have -- connection with the Mother and the Father (whatever that configuration looks like). It is about where men compromise and sacrifice their informed rights to people's agendas that harm THEIR baby. It is about how men (and women) believe they can have access to the safety of the hospital birthing machine and that the harm from others does not impact their baby and relationship. WE live with this every day -- the impact of our birth experience. The film looks at this disempowerment of men and women as the root of dysfunction -- as individuals and as families, and as communities when we allow the routine, brutal, violating separation and disruption of the mama-baby (and mama-baby-daddy) in the first hour of life. This is where warriors are made.

Because of the thoughtless and harsh to brutal treatment of the sentient, aware, feeling, sensing human baby - you and me and everyone - by caregivers in the medical system at birth, the real war is within, and it is in families. The disruption of the family union at birth is the source of FEAR, greed, and belief in not enough, and that people will harm us. We need to wake up as a society to the damage being done to the family in the birthing war machine --- to the mama-baby connection and the foundation for life; and to the father who is disempowered to protect them in the hospital, and sometimes, even in his own home. This film will call upon those people in power, medical caregivers, TO BE THE ONE .. to be the one to change, to honor birth as sacred, and to honor the baby, mother, and father.

The deep seeds of violation to me, as a woman giving birth, violated while my loved one stood by powerless to stop it are unacknowledged by my society ... not in the medical, psychological, or religious fields. Rather they gain from it. The beginning of human life is completely ignored in any level of decision-making about humans, including education and the feminist movement. Mothering is denied. The Feminine is denied. Unacknowledged by my society, with the outrage of watching it happen over and over to babies, women, and men in the hospital setting, and then AGAIN to my own daughter and her loved one, to their child, my grandson, fueled me to continue to finish this film despite many obstacles, such as no funding. I choose to do it this way because it is MY family and our story, because I came here to do this. It has been a constant source of growth and healing.

The simple overall message is, "Stop abusing newborns." The abuse of the newborn human being, a soul coming into life with this family, well, it just has to stop. It has to, and WE need to stop it. We have to stop harming those coming and to heal those who have been harmed. Men don't need to be prepared to "protect" their partner and baby at birth, men need to participate in changing the system that allow the mama-baby to be separated. Men need to support the agenda of seeing HIS MOMENT OF AWE as critical to his fathering, to this woman and baby. Men need to participate in DEMANDING a health care system that PROTECTS the mama-baby connection and his family's union.

As you witness the abuse of the precious Soul, sweet, baby Andrew, his mother, and father in the first hour of his life; please honor Andrew, his mother and father, his brother, his aunt who filmed the birth, and myself who witnessed but could not stop it. I appreciate your prayers and thoughts of love and healing acknowledgment for their experience, and gratitude for the gifts that Andrew and his father have brought forward to heal the world.

Happy Birthday, Andrew, "from all the babies who will never know you, but who will benefit from your birth" the same birthday message your great-aunt sent to me. Together, we are transforming the experience to bring Mercy, Light and Love to the planet. I am so glad you chose me to be your grandma and to bring forth such powerful information in a world so hungry for healing: You are a Light in the world. I love you.

Inspired by Mercola's plan to make milk. Like he even could.

2010-11-03T11:41:00.001-05:00

"We need to do whatever it takes to help women give their babies and young children the lifelong benefits of high quality mothering and stop subsidizing an ideology that promotes risky and inadequate substitutes." -- Peter Cook, PhD in Mothering Denied

He is speaking the institutionalized care of children in day care with adults who do not love the child and he is speaking about the nurturing needs of the human baby. The baby needs to be nurtured and nourished by the mother via breastfeeding not risky substitutes.

When most women hear the information that world-renown writer on nutrition and wellness and seller of products to enhance health, Dr. Joseph Mercola, is developing an organic formula for babies they say, "that's great, for women who can't." Even hard core breast feeding advocates. But Emma Kwasnica, breastfeeding advocate, and I have been swimming against the tide even in our community of natural birthers and breastfeeders to say let's look at this more deeply. Emma has been looking at the ethics of it and I have been looking at the feminist and baby's human rights perspective.

I received this story on Facebook this week, an example of why we need Mercola's formula and that is "what about the women who can't breastfeed?" I'm using this example to answer the response of of so many women, and women who are fierce advocates who say, "That's good" because "there are so many babies who can't breastfeed" and then my perspective on the human rights of babies to have breast milk as the first and best option and how it is that the belief that a field beast is superior to another woman's milk is a feminist issue.

I visited a home tonight where the mother had been given a child belonging to a family member. The baby's biological mother is a drug addict and the baby had some severe withdrawal from the drugs in her syst...em. The wonderful woman who agreed to take the baby was given one hour to make a decision to come and get this baby or it would be given to another foster family. She had had no warning that she was getting this baby. I am glad to be able to have formula available for babies like this one who are abandoned and need care. I am the biggest breastfeeding advocate on the planet and breastfed all my five children. All my 12 grandchildren have been breastfed long term. But I am realistic enough to know that sometimes a baby needs to be fed in another manner and I am thrilled that said baby can survive and thrive without breastmilk when absolutely none is available.

There's no debate about the need of some babies and moms to have quality access ... it's about a world-renown natural health guru who sells something with every issue he writes about .. it's about Mercola NOT putting his word, weight, and money be...hind a national agenda to create 100% breastfeeding that he says he supports BEFORE marketing a new formula. There is plenty of organic and "quality" formula on the market. It's about the ethics of a medical and natural health establishment not promoting what the research shows is the only way to feed a baby. In a world where breastfeeding is seen as optimal and the human right of a baby, there would be a resource ready within an hour of getting the baby to have another woman's breastmilk available for that baby ... in the hospital, when born.

This IS the baby that every system in our culture will have to be involved in caring for .. this IS the baby who will have life long issues because of his beginning. Physical health issues. Psychological, emotional, and spiritual issues. We as a society can enhance his potential merely by making sure he has human milk. Breast milk is the best chance this baby has to overcome health issues. A healthy woman's milk - a stranger, but a human woman -- HER Milk is the best option for this baby and human breast milk is flowing every where.

It is not true that there is "absolutely none available." We have human milk going down the drain right now. Formula for such a compromised baby would NOT be our medical system and society's first option ... donor milk would be a commitment. We can spend trillions to bomb a country for 8 years ... well, it would take little money to utilize donor milk. But even what there is now is about money. That's part of our issue. This is another way for some people to make money. Meanwhile, WOMEN are willing to SHARE their baby's milk so that others might have human milk. Why is Mercola ignoring that? Why is he not leading the way to create the consciousness shift like he has with other health issues while he produces his product to sell? That's what we are asking. Lead the way in shifting the perception that human beings have a human right to human milk. The other issue with Mercola's milk is that it is COW based. We know not to give cow milk to newborn humans. My question is when is the HUMAN WOMAN going to be ABOVE the status of the cow/chattel?

We are challenging folks to think beyond the man-man borders, the result of generations of ...not breastfeeding and the social structures it had created. I use this story of the baby as the perfect example of a system that does not value breastmilk for every baby, for the ones whose mother's can't or shouldn't, for the most vulnerable, the most needy of breastmilk, not formula. The most unhealthy, vulnerable babies need human milk most -- the "what about the ones" argument is turned back on itself. Yes, what about them? Mother's milk is flowing in our communities and families ... breastfeeding is NORMAL again. I had to fight such crap in 1975, fight nurses ganging up on me, fight misinformation everywhere I went about how man-made formula was better. How I was harming my baby by not giving him formula. Thirty-five years later, today, folks, the excilir of life is flowing. SO MANY women have more than enough, enough to share, and want to. Formula, organic or not, is NOT the first choice. It is not where our money should go, where Mercola's money and research should go. Our resources and problem-solving should go towards figuring out how to provide HUMAN MILK, not a milk from a "field beast" (thanks, Jesca!) Formula should be our absolute last resort in a world where WE KNOW the truth about the vitality of breastmilk, the source of HEALTH for HUMANS.

Wouldn't you like to be elevated in our culture above the cow? We are still chattel, women are, as long as a field beast's milk is MORE VALUED than a human woman's milk. Mother to mother sharing is culturally taboo while feeding your baby "organic" MAN-made milk from a field beast!?!? C'mon, wombyn!! wake up!!! We're gonna be the ones to save the planet ... I think it was Gandhi who said it would be the western women who save the planet/world ... and it's not going to be because we made a lot of money selling organic products to someone who has access to nature.

Breastfeeding -- the key to a healthy relationship

2010-08-25T15:19:00.007-05:00

The news in Los Angeles today is interesting. Breastfeeding woman is harassed by female employees at Cost Plus World Market in Orange County.
http://www.nbclosangeles.com/news/local-beat/Mother-Harassed-for-Breastfeeding-in-Public-101427799.html

Meanwhile, another headline is "Man Arrested Near Paris Hilton's Home" over a picture of her with her huge, fake breasts jutted upward. (Blogger has changed and I can't find how to upload pics!)

Posters on the news about the breastfeeding woman vary from the breastfeeding supporters to those who believe we are not a third-world country, she should go the car or bathroom, breastfeeding in public, maybe anywhere is being not classy, and examples of seeing it in public with men staring at the woman's breasts ... all reasons against it. Oh, several posters said it's like defecating ... you don't do that in public, do you?

My response to this article's posters and to the world:

Being breastfed is a human right. It is a BABY's right to be breastfed whenever hungry & mother's responsibility to do so. If we would stop seeing it as a woman's right only and see it as the right and ...need of human baby (hers when she was a baby, yours when you were a baby), maybe those of you with issues about seeing it could begin to get over it.

Breastfeeding is same as defecating ONLY if we are talking about a baby who is doing either or both. Do you expect a mother with a pooping baby to leave? No.You laugh as if a normal process is funny. Do YOU eat in bathroom, closet, hot car or with blanket on your head? So why do you expect a baby to be treated that way? Most likely your mother walked around a store with chemical formula in a bottle feeding you. You got fed in public.

We've had generations of misinformation and downright lies, all based on, yeah, you guessed, money, about formula as better, and therefore, a majority of humans did not get what they needed -- HUMAN MILK, from their MOTHER, and on demand. Now you spend money trying to "create abundance" in your life when your early brain tells you there ain't none. When the breast and mother is available to the newborn when she or he needs it ... for food, for comfort, for connection ... THAT person will KNOW abundance, and that everything they need is there for them. THAT, my friends, is the real "Secret." It was your right and your child's right to be breastfeed and since you didn't, you see it as nasty, and worse, you see a mother-baby breastfeeding and you see it as sexual. You see love and connectedness only as sexual.

Breastfeeding is NORMAL. Not being breastfed is one of the most devastating, fundamental causes of many physical and emotional issues in our culture. Anyone here against it for whatever reason, if you go and look at truth of the science and what has ALWAYS been true about breastfeeding, and MOTHER-BABY attachment, and you deal with fact that you weren't and you didn't give it to your child (BECAUSE the system, experts LIED to you or your mother), you can get over "shock" of seeing what is normal and natural and absolutely necessary.

Now, will you please go after women walking through that store with all but her nipples hanging out, butt cheeks, tattoos, & belly ring showing that is supposedly "normal"? And, those man-boobs, please do call security. And, can you go after industries that sexualize even little girls, capturing them as little consumers before they can even read their ABC's? Can you go after Miley and Brittney to keep their teenage breasts covered so our little girls are not pressed to follow these role models in slutdom? So that a when she's a woman breastfeeding her baby her breasts are not seen as sexual, merely for men's pleasure, and she is not ostracized for doing most natural, necessary thing in the world.

Thanks Mom for breastfeeding me for a year ... in 1956 .. the height of the industrialization complex and when sheeple thought you were "behind" the times, so I could do it too in 1975 (and 1977, 1983, and 1994) when I was weird and uncool for breastfeeding. Thanks for helping me to see that "mothering" was the most important job I could so. Of all the things I've been through with my children, I see that breastfeeding was the magic bullet that helped us recover from birthing in the medical machine designed to separate mother and baby.

One of the sad truths is that men do sexualize the breasts and wombyns. I was on youtube on an exercise segment and I was shocked at the comments, presumably by men about how annoyed they were that the picture of nice butt lured them in and it wasn't that good to masturbate to. SO MANY! Men masturbate to work out videos, I knew this, but dang, the things people say when they think they are anonymous, like on Youtube in general.

So, yeah, men are also supposedly masturbating to breastfeeding images these days. Scandals have broken about Facebook creeps trying to get access to breastfeeding pictures. Men luring at wombyns and baby breastfeeding IS a big issue. And, yeah, it's god-awful, but dang, it IS INFORMATION folks. Like the father in my film says, referring to circumcision, overpowering wombyns at birth, and men's experience, "We have to stop the harming and heal those who were harmed."

Male babies are so profoundly harmed at birth. We can not stop disrupting the mother-baby at birth fast enough for me. Inside me, every fiber of me wants to go HULK on those who continue to separate and harm babies, acting out THEIR own traumas and getting paid so well to do so. It's outrageous to watch male and female babies and how they are treated at birth. We can not begin fast enough to insist that medical caregivers support the self-attachment and support women in doing this. I am amazed at the women who say they want to do this profound, natural, simply done, physiologically programmed event -- supporting baby to crawl to her breast and self-attach himself or herself, and then they don't. This is a symptom of a wombyns own wounding, her own fear of attachment and connectedness. We humans are so confusing. Come here, go away. She offers her sexuality, her breasts and then doesn't deliver. She can't; she's not mama. "I have to have her" and then he cheats on her, or beats her, or ridicules her. And then he hates himself and then he compensates. Oh, how well, we all know of this cycle. Trying to connect with the Mama. Instead we collectively destroy her, the Mama Earth, and we harm wombyn. It begins with denying her body, mind, and soul the power and dignity birthing as a female body, and as a young girl programming her with false images of what a wombyn is and it culminates in the drugging, controlling, and manipulating of her during childbirth ... when she brings forth another life, a little boy or girl baby. The cycles repeat.

We can not fast enough STOP the genital mutilation of our precious little boys. I can not even begin to know, to touch how profoundly most men in this country have been harmed as a newborn, and how it is to live life through this PREVERBAL rape and violation. Allowing my oldest son, even though I was young and uninformed, to experience this to have allowed it is the hardest thing for me to forgive. I was holding him and I do believe this has allowed me the information I needed to really see what happened and the need to address it. They no longer allow a parent to be there. For good reason ... they don't want you to see it. They make a lot of money from that foreskin. If you see it, you talk about it.

Circumcision is a sexual violation. They often manually make the boy's penis erect to do it. Strange women TOOK him from his mother in his first moments of life when every cell of his is programmed to reconnect with her. These women "bonded" with him by being the first to look into his eyes, talk to him, touch him, FEEDING him with a rubber nipple (women also robbed of this with their own babies do it to other women) ... all in violating way .. after robbing him of his cord blood by separating him from his transitional Life Force/God/Creator/Allah in the womb with him. Then WOMEN tied him down so that his penis is sexually mutilated. The nerve densest piece of skin on his body made to give him pleasure by communicating with his brain is now missing, and the brutal pain of cutting it off puts him in shock. He was BORN a whole being, ready for love and connection. We all are. We are welcomed with strangers inflicting pain, fear, and self-serving separation that, as they wish it to be, is blamed on our mother's. Mothers take it on as their guilt, rather than seeing they too are violated and prevented from giving their well-loved and gestated babies what they know in every cell to be what he or she needs. Mothers and babies live with the impact of separation and hospital systems continue to crank out wounded, wounded, wounded human beings.

These men we speak of angrily, the violence in society we seek to end, wars, harming women and children, pornography, masturbating to breast-feeding pics or exercise videos, to molesting children .... ALL of them have experienced some combination of being conceived and gestated unwanted, born with doctor-nurse inflicted trauma, not allowed to feel her touch first, gaze into her eyes first, to crawl with her gentle support to her breast to self attach, but instead were separated from their mothers, force fed formula by strangers (force fed because a baby's stomach is only the size of a hazelnut, enough to hold a super-duper shot of colostrum), and then he was circumcised.

These men never had the comfort of the mother's breast no matter how they tried. Babies DO try over and over to get to the breast of the mother. Formula feeding mothers know this if they allow it to come through to them ... how their babies try to get to their breasts. Well, they never stop trying, folks - baby boys or baby girls. So, of course, they sexualize the breasts and breastfeeding. Of course men go masturbate to these images, or a young male after seeing a breastfeeding baby at the breast. I am sorry my sister's whose path it is to push this boundary for us all -- public breastfeeding -- may or may not know this. It's not their problem. It's yours if you have an issue with seeing a breastfeeding baby. An adult male is simply, yet profoundly, trying to connect all that was lost, oh, so much that was so lost. So, of course young girls and women are profoundly impacted by their images related to their breasts too - how they look, how men respond to them. Why is it ok for our teenage girls to expose their breasts ... to gain love and connection and attention they yearn for? The young Heidi who had ten surgeries in one day and can not legally in the US have a bigger breast implant. My goodness, what do these boys and girls really want? What do these men really want? All misplaced ... poor little babies.

All of this can be ENDED by giving the utmost care to the human new born being, male and female. We have to stop the harming and help those who were harmed to heal.

I'm curious about the men who were not breastfed and who were circumcised as they now choose to keep their baby whole and they support breastfeeding. How do they come to this decision? How do they deal with their own feelings of loss and of being violated? Does it change their perspective? Actions (like porn and masturbating), and does it change the quality of their own lives, their relationships with their partner? With their mother?

Watch out!! These are the kinds of questions I asked years ago about men in the hospital room with their babies being born. People ask me how I came to know to do this film -- focus on fathers. So many people, even homebirthing women, tell me they never really thought about birth impacting their partner. WOW. That's amazing to me. I have come to realize profoundly, not surprisingly, since I've known it all along, but it is because of my own birth. I was very traumatized, and almost died, as did my older brother, the first. Our sister born second was born "unassisted" in the labor delivery room while my father was trying to find a nurse. It was quite rare that my father was in the hospital room with all six of us, born between 1949-1970. OF COURSE, MY baby self KNEW how important it was that he was there, and now I know, a part of me has always known also how wounded he was watching it all. Just recently he told me that he was off to the side, could see blood, could hear it. It was not like today when men are able to be right there. I was very sad that my dad did not get to see me come out. I realize that has been a huge loss for me, and explains an issue with him, a confusion -- "you WERE THERE. Can't you acknowledge how hard it was for me?" This is what I see in babies ALL THE TIME, even today. We all want our mother and father to acknowledge us, our experience, as they share THEIR story, to see ours, the baby. I experienced deep sadness for my dad, a shared moment we never got to grieve or process together ... in 53 years. Another piece of healing my own birth that allows me to sit with and witness and support babies with their parents in their experience. My dad does not remember the last three I learned when I sit down to find out my three younger siblings birth stories. We always hear the stories of us three older ones. I said he couldn't remember them -- he was there, but because the first three were so hard he sorta checked out, he guesses. Fifty some years and I am just hearing this ... what I've always known, and I see it in the relationships with those younger three. And, I see the impact, "good" and "bad" in his relationship with us three older ones.

WHAT is YOUR baby self's story? What is YOUR story in relationship to your mom and dad's story? So many women from the 30-70's can't remember their story. It's such a big black hole in so many people's lives. Your body, mind, and soul know ... it's in your preverbal brain. You can know the story, grieve it, embrace it and become whole again, or at least BE IN the process of becoming whole, rather than living in the patterns of trauma, loss, and grief of disconnection from the mother.

There are many modalities now to assist ... but the best one, I believe, is my teacher, Ray Castellino's method.
http://www.castellinotraining.com/referrals/graduates.php
Others related to this modality are: www.myrnamartin.net, www.healyourearlyimprints.com.

Other Women: Femine Betrayal of Wombyn By WoMen

2010-04-20T12:12:00.018-05:00

As a whole, women protects her own, the children, against all others, includuing (sic) other women. This is a good thing, an act of nature, for with out this basic natural instinct, we would fail as a community, or even as basic as failing as a species." -- Casual Male Observer on Momania blog

I visited Momania blog where the article was called: "Cat fight on the mom blog: Are we meaner than the sports blogs?" They are talking about what we all know ... Girl-on-Girl and Woman-on-woman emotional and verbal violence. Oh, my the comments!

I got as far as "A casual male observer's" comment. "Most men protect Ideals, such as family, nation, politics, religon, etc. As a whole, women protects her own, the children, against all others, including another women. This is a good thing, an act of nature, for with out this basic natural instinct, we would fail as a community, or even as basic as failing as a species. The average male does not stick around for the children, for the woman is the only true chance for survival of the children. This is true for every species on this earth, with few exceptions."

LOVE IT! As filmmaker of "The Other Side of the Glass" a birth film for and about men's experience in modern birth, I'm looking at the soul's journey into a physical body and earthly family, the result of a sperm and an egg being united by a spark that results in another life. I'm looking at how men are disempowered in birth ... from their experience as a baby being born and how that manifests in his experience of birthing his children. Ain't NOWHERE else in the world, except the hospital where a man is so disregarded and disempowered when his/her wife/partner is birthing their baby into their arms.

Going back to first comment, about how wombyn historically mean to each other, and where it is socially and culturally acceptable now, why is this? Why is this, how is this acceptable now? All of history? No. American history? Could be. What is the core issue? I believe we need to look at the total denial of what "Casual male observer" has so eloquently stated: "As a whole, women protects her own, the children, against all others, including other women. This is a good thing, an act of nature, for with out this basic natural instinct, we would fail as a community, or even as basic as failing as a species." And, sorry to say, because I know some very caring LD/OB nurse, and I say this with regard for the fine wombmyn who are great nurses and midwives. The source, I believe, of woman-on-wombmyn violence is OTHER WOMEN who disrupt, control, and manipulate a wombmyn in this most vulnerable experience and she controls the father as well.

The truth is that wombmyn are unable in modern birth to protect themselves and their baby from OTHER WOMEN in the most vulnerable but power experience of her life. I don't think there is any place else or any OTHER WOMAN who has so much control over a man as the hospital labor and delivery nurse. The strongest and most powerful man crumbles and is voiceless and powerless in this woMan's environment. Midwifery is under the control of medical training and beliefs, and as more medically trained midwives do more birth even wombmyn giving birth at home with a midwife are being betrayed. They are being betrayed in this moment that "Casual Male Observer" points out is true of every wombmyn: the need to protect their baby, even from OTHER WOMEN.

It is OTHER WOMEN throughout modern obstetric history who have carried out the deeds of male obstetric dominated care. Big time since the 1400's when the Church and Medicine hooked up. It is OTHER WOMEN who separate the man/other from his wife/partner ... either covertly or overtly. Overtly, the nurse puts a wombmyn in the birthing uniform and begins the control, sometimes becoming torture. Nurses, OTHER WOMEN, used to shave us, force us to do enemas. They still put us in bed, deny us food and water, drug her, tie us down (don't need to so much these days because they are drug pushers of epidural -- with synthetic opiods), hush us, disrupt us to monitor us every 15 minutes and on and on. The doctor, more often female now, comes in to do the fun stuff. Sits at the end of the conveyor belt, gets to do the honors, and thanks the lady's for the preparation and making it so easy, pleasurable, and lucrative for him or her. Her job is done then, and nurses, OTHER WOMEN, resume control. Even the most non-violent birth is a subtle form of rape of women.

After the "ecstatic" or even "orgasmic" moment (whose is a very interesting question) is over, baby is most likely, most often is handed to the OTHER WOMEN. Sometimes the wombmyn actually gets to hold the baby or see baby before baby is whisked away by OTHER WOMEN. Everything in a wombyn's being WANTS HER BABY. She has instincts to make eye contact that will trigger the hormones of attachment. Every fiber of her wants to see, touch, smell, and yes, even taste her baby. wombmyn today who don't do this ... well, they are not the "normal" ones. Sorry. They are sufficiently suppressed wombmyn that are system-compliant.

It is OTHER WOMEN who touch our babies first, never as gently as a mother does when left alone. It is often very rough and even brutal how OTHER WOMEN "stimulate" our babies to breath. It is OTHER WOMEN who deny us our wishes; yes, following the rules of the male-dominated medical hospital system. It is these OTHER WOMEN who take the baby (a main reason for immediate cord clamping, I believe, nothing to do with what the human newborn physiologically needs for optimum life), another woman's baby and deny both mother and baby their God-given need and right to RECONNECT in this most vulnerable and short, yet life defining moment. OTHER WOMEN, sometimes many other women, touch our babies and hold our babies and look into our babies' eyes before us. They do this while doing medically unnecessary interventions, some akin to torture if done by adults to adults in other situations and locations. Our babies hear OTHER WOMEN's voices and feel their touch before they feel ours, before they feel us, smell us, or hear our voice. OTHER WOMEN take our babies and touch them and do things to them that causes our babies to writhe in pain, to scream full-body screams, crying for us, crying for us to make it stop. But we can't. Our baby's father can't even stop it. Our body screams out "NOoooooooo, STOP IT" even when our words don't come out. This scream, I call it the "maternal scream" is STUCK in most of us women ... and, until we heal our bodies, souls, and minds of these experience, we take it out on other women and our spouses. Our babies also live this out, with us and in society. It is, I believe, the core of most emotional and psychological disorders.

WHY do wombmyn do this to wombmyn? Because it was done to them .. as a baby and as a birthing wombmyn. It's called "normative abuse". The do to OTHER WOMEN and BABIES what was done to them ... as babies and as birthing wombmyn ... so that they feel normal. Then we all call it normal. And, we call ourselves normal, but no one ever feels normal. Not until they embrace their body and spirit and heal their early woundings and become more natural. Meanwhile, the "system" gathers steam, via the wounded workers, and thwarts most efforts to be natural, to do what THE BODY ONE LIVES IN WAS PROGRAMMED over eons to do and be. Wombyn who've not given birth but work in these systems have their innate knowing and their instincts over run. They've watched traumatic births all their lives, on television, and see this as normal. They are taught in college and advanced training programs that this is right, moral, scientific and best ... when everything logically, scientifically, physiologically, and emotionally tells us otherwise. wombmyn harm other wombmyn ... in this profound moment where it is instinctual to protect, hold, nurture her baby, even protect it from other wombmyn, that "Casual male observer" points out, "This is a good thing, an act of nature, for with out this basic natural instinct, we would fail as a community, or even as basic as failing as a species."

Well, guess what, our society and species is failing. Big time. Asthma, cancer, autism, psychiatric disorders doubling and tripling as epidural and cesarean sections rates do the same. Babies under one are being given anti-psychotic medications and it just gets worse for the child in our society. Contrary to what many people said in the comments, it is NOT "normal" for teenage girls to be so vicious and for women to be so vicious. To survive we have to stop it ... wombmyn need to stop it. People need to resolve their own early experiences of coming into this world. When a medical caregiver, in charge of the situation, has successfully disengaged a man/partner from the mother, those people have just taken charge of that baby ... body, mind, and soul.

The person who drugs, controls the mother, and forcefully pulls that baby from the mother's body is imprinting "I am in charge" on that baby's whole being. Collectively, it is is strangers, men and wombmyn, who do this to a baby. Collectively, they become the "system" and we are under it's control unless we wake up and consider the plight of the baby. This control forced upon the birth baby is called "mind control" by my colleague and co-host of the radio show we do. This mind control is why people keep going back to the medical profession to birth again or for all the other craziness found there ... they're programmed. At birth. We're programmed by women to not trust wombmyn, and not to trust men, but at the same time, to give it over to "them".

The way out of it is one person at a time. It stops one wombmyn at a time, doing her own healing work. It involves stop being the OTHER WOMAN who harms a birthing woman and separates her baby from her ... even with the smallest of NON-medically necessary interventions ... coached pushing, talking, bulbing, putting hat baby, not putting and leaving baby in her arms. ANYTHING done to the baby is felt by the baby and imprinted in his or her brain and body. For sure, stop denying her movement, food, water. Stop following the rules of the system that harm babies and mothers -- fetal monitoring (known IN obstetrics for 20 years to contribute to cesarean that is only "necessary" in the end BECAUSE of the monitoring), drugs, rupturing the baby's membranes, speeding up, slowing down (controlling) her baby's and her body's labor. STOP cutting the cord. STOP making father's feel like "getting to cut the cord cord" is their badge of honor, their shining moment in the birth --- prematurely separating mother and baby before baby and mother have met, before the mother's body knows the baby is ok (signaled by HER releasing the placenta).

It is wombyn and men, especially wombmyn, who can stop the women-on-wombyn violence. We can stop the violence of teenage girls and women in drama by stopping the violence perpetrated upon women giving birth.

Most of my career in this field has been trying to find the balance ... be the bridge ... I respect the people as individuals, those who are in the obstetric field and who, I feel, are stuck in a rut they are not aware of, or don't know how to get out. Some of that is a symptom of our social problems of consumerism. People have to work to pay their bills and they have to shut down parts of themselves to do this. I think the worse place for this is maternal-baby health care. I believe it is a known effort at some level to control wombmyn's bodies and souls and minds, and to disrupt the mother-baby relationship, the core of humanity. I am concerned for the people who are lovely, caring, compassionate people who became doctors, nurses, or midwives for noble reasons, but have ALSO been harmed by the collective system. I am concerned for the harm to them being in a system that does not honor them either. They work in a system where they are not allowed to stop the violence, and yet they stay. This harms them as well. Blessed is the nurse and doctor, of whom I know many, who are able and willing to navigate the system and the legal and hospital policy issues, breaking rules, in order to do what they know is right for the baby, mother, and father/partner.

My show yesterday, in the archives, is about the early church and witch hunts, the earliest betrayal of women by women. We carry it in our genetic memory.
www.thoughtcrimeradio.blogspot.com - is my radio show.

Here's a video promoting natural birth in a birth center. Perfect example of the propaganda that perpetuates the violence of wombyn in the system

Being Born

2010-03-17T14:39:00.004-05:00

Being born is important
You who have stood at the bedposts
and seen a mother on her high harvest day,
the day of the most golden of harvest moons for her.

You who have seen the new wet child
dried behind the ears,
swaddled in soft fresh garments,
pursing its lips and sending a groping mouth
toward nipples where white milk is ready.

You who have seen this love's payday
of wild toiling and sweet agonizing.

You know being born is important.
You know that nothing else was ever so important to you.
You understand that the payday of love is so old,
So involved, so traced with circles of the moon,
So cunning with the secrets of the salts of the blood.
It must be older than the moon, older than salt.

- Carl Sandburg

Being Born IS the BABY's experience. Giving Birth is mother's. TWO BEINGS, TWO BEING'S experience TOGETHER. And, what about the father? What's his experience, perspective, and needs?

Fathers stand "at the bedpost and have seen a mother", his partner, "on her high harvest day, and the day of most golden of harvest moons for her."

The baby "groping towards mouth nipples where white milk is ready" is the fruit, the harvest of his seed. He is the father of this baby, made with this woman. This is HIS HARVEST. Why is he treated so poorly in American hospitals? Why is the father of duct tape, vinyl records, the spinning loom, the microchip, and the father of this country or that religion or a philosophy given more reverence and regard than a man at his seed's harvest?

Abortion and Birth: A Means to an End. Control.

2010-03-14T14:31:00.004-05:00

Abortion and Birth: A Means to an End. Control.

Women may not ever have true equality until they give the same to the fetus. Abortion and where to give birth should not be under control of MEDICINE and should not have ever been illegal. Prior to modern history women always had the control over keeping or not keeping a pregnancy. Many pregnancies then and now were a result of non-consensual sex, violence, and control by men. Legalizing and not legalizing abortion was and is not the answer. We now have a society where it is more covert, so embedded into our DNA and when women have made gains, but still are powerless ovver their bodies. Thank you to the modern medical system.

Today the care of women's body in the medical system has to do with making money ... and truly has nothing to do with womens'rights and her body, let alone, mens' or babies' rights. I am pro-life and pro-choice, equally fiercely BECAUSE the human being coming in has rights and the woman has rights, and I believe it is between HER, the soul trying to incarnate, and yes, even the man whose sperm made the baby. It's not between the State and a woman. It's between her, the Soul coming in, and her God. You can't kill a soul. Abortion and birth disregard that humans are a soul.

Elena Tonetti was on my show this week and discussed conscious birth and her film, "Birth As We Know It". She explains conception in a very amazing way .. how there is an energetic force present IN ORDER for there to be union of a sperm and egg to create conception, a third human baby with a soul. In other words, pregnancy depends upon more than a sperm and an egg meeting up. That happens billions of times a day. There is a being there, in the fetus, whether we like it or not, whether is serves our needs and wants or not. Here's the podcast. http://www.math.missouri.edu/~rich/janel/TCR100308.mp3. She comes on about 15 minutes after.

I don't think women will ever have true equality and rights until they stop going along with the status quo established by men thousands of years ago .... and the right to her body over the life of another human being is the just the double talk of hundreds and 1000's of years of subjugation by the dominance of men.... now ingrained in collective psyche.

Medicine and law took women's rights long, long ago, women rights to their body and their children, and their decisions, and we are still dealing with it. They made what women do illegal, immoral, and sinful. I'd like to know when it became ILlegal to get an abortion. What's the law? When was it? When did ABORTION become like BIRTH ... a legal, medical matter, in the hands of men and doctors, controlled by laws. In the 1400's two German monks wrote a treatise that was about how evil women are, especially the midwives. It told how to identify witches, interrogate them and punish them. Every Catholic magistrate and court had to read this, and led to the witch hunts that murdered millions of women for being midwives, healers, and mystics, or just for being female. It helped usher in men as doctors and men have been in control since then. Midwives were the biggest target -- and still are. THey are trying to make it ILLEGAL again in MO for a midwife to attend homebirth. It's outrageous. It shouldn't have EVER even been legal. Birth, midwives, abortion are NOT legal or medical matters. It was all to control women. and "they" still are. I'd prefer neither legal or illegal abortion or birth -- but the control of is way too lucrative and both serve to divide and conquer.

Pro-life and Pro-Right, I told a man this week, when he was complaining about the health care bill paying for abortion. Isn't that what's it is always really about? WHO will get paid and how much? And, not about the woman, not about the being within her, or the man who participated in conception. He says, "How can you be both?" I said, "You can't kill a soul. My business is my business, another woman's is her business."

And, it all boils down to money, like everything else in our culture.

Determining when life begins is a mind-fuck for women, and for men, but especially the woman who is supposedly the only decision-maker. One woman will be justifying her decision to abort at 20 weeks while another, or even the same woman grieves and grieves over the loss of the baby to miscarriage. Either way, she grieves, sometimes for a lifetime. Abortion ALWAYS impacts a woman. It is not an easy answer. Regardless of the rhetoric the feminist, liberal movement has perpetuated, a woman who chooses an abortion has to come to resolution in her her body, mind, and soul about ending the life of a fetus that she conceived. As Elena articulates, some energy, some entity has to be present for a pregnancy to happen. A woman who chooses, against all odds, to have a baby and to raise it also lives with her choice. They are very different, but they are also the same in that for an unwanted pregnancy there is no easy answer. The decision, to abort or not, is a country-dividing, family-dividing fight between religion and the state, and, I am convinced, it is just a MEANS to end for the powers-that-be. Going along with the medical, man-made money-focused logic that pervades our lives doesn't help any of us get to the truth ...

And when we have equality ... true equality, between male and females, it will be when and because we value every human life everywhere on the planet. When we believe killing for war is as wrong as killing for any reason as an individual ... murdering another adult, a child, or aborting a fetus, I really believe there will be less unwanted pregnancies that become abortions and unwanted humans, because both men and women will BE more conscious of themselves and their actions.

And, then there's circumcision ... yeah, and that's the biggest assurance that men will continue to perpetuate the legacy ... especially if they involve a woman in it. A woman mutilating another woman's baby boy.

Dr. Fischbein On My Radio Show

2010-01-19T00:08:00.004-06:00

We just completed week three of our shows with Dr. Stuart Fischbein, obstetrician from California on Thought Crime Radio: Voices for the Human Rights of Babies. The podcasts are up at www.thoughtcrimeradio.blogspot.com.

Please visit his site, Www.SupportDrFischbein.com and learn about his experience as an obstetrician fighting for women to have true informed consent and right of refusal (BIRTH CHOICES - breech, VBAC, as well as no drugs, homebirths, delayed cord clamping etc.) when birthing their babies. Check out his plan to create a new form of birth center ... a collaboration between obstetricians and midwives in a facility separate from the hospital.

Also, on this page, check out the youtube presentations of excerpt from his interview for the film.

"It's a tragedy for all the women who are missing out on natural men..."

2010-01-08T12:44:00.004-06:00

I entered late into a conversation going on a friend's page on FaceBook.

Her status today was: BH: wants to know... what is WRONG with men? Sheesh.

The comments that followed speak to the part four of my film that is about healing the masculine, so we can heal the feminine and the relationship between them. I shared the conversation with my friend and cohost, and fellow rabblerouser and intactivist, Rich. He emailed me back, "It's a tragedy for all the women who are missing out on natural men..." That's Rich. Simple words, profoundly to the point.

So, my friend's status today was:

BH: wants to know... what is WRONG with men? Sheesh.

Here are the responses from mostly women:

EBA: testes. doi

RBR: They have a Y chromosome??!

LMS: the Y is actually an incomplete X...they are missing all the good genetic stuff LOL

HBM: Penises, for sure.

RBR: Just a bit of genetic trivia... The “X” sex-chromosome consists of 3000 – 4000 genes. The “Y” sex-chromosome only consists of 50 genes (and most non-functional).

LMS: Oh and god put all their sex organs on the outside...clearly that is a flaw...with them all flopping around and what not

BT (a male): Hey!

EO: Quite simply put, they are not women.

VCM: Ladies... Don't discriminate based on X Y.

EBA: i think that their balls weigh their brains down.....

VCM: ok now that was funny!

KF: Same thing that's wrong with women! ;)

RCG: clueless, just clueless... and how frustrating to try to explain to people who don't know, what they don't know and they think they know it all!

AR (a man): Now ladies, we may only be life support systems for peni, but we do have our usefullness and at least we're easy to figure out. Food, sex, remote. Not necessarily in that order.

EBA: all things we can take care of without men

ADBM: @Erika, that is the funniest thing I've heard all day!

MM: When God created man he didn't provide him with enough blood to opereate two organs (brain and penis) at the same time.

--- Ok, this is the one that got my "dog in the fight." God DID provide him with enough blood and the nerves to operate not only his brain and penis, but to have them connected to his heart. It is adults who have robbed the male of his blood (separating him from his placenta and blood) and his neural connections between penis and brain (CIRCUMCISION). The baby did not choose this, and I am pretty certain that the adult man is pretty damn mad about it .. even if he can't name it.

RCG: Gee, way I heard it: Sure God created man before woman. You always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece!

I'm with U Erika... my toy works REAL well and I don't have to have a headache... fake or real!

BH: Monika is on the right track... well, the track I was on. I mean, almost every single man I know or have known or watch on the news or tv or even who paints the stars... men have no couth when it comes to their genitals. I just do not understand how they don't know WE WILL FIND OUT. Do they *really* think they are so sly we can't smell perfume? Hear the hushed tones? Figure out the paycheck isn't equal to all the time away from home? It's baffling to me. They must think WE are idiots.

WHY is the "grass" always greener in someone else's panties?

RCG: Anything to shift responsibility.. Ever since Adam... God asked him "Adam, did you eat from the tree?" His reply, "It was the woman you gave me!".

AR (man): It's the hardware and the wireing.

RCG: Anything to shift responsibility.. Ever since Adam... God asked him "Adam, did you eat from the tree?" His reply, "It was the woman you gave me!"

AR (man): Geez. It's not shifting. Men are Simple creatures. And our evolutionary physicallity does have a lot to do with our behavior. We are, however not all the same.

BH: I think I could count on one hand the number of men I know that have NOT cheated on a partner. I'm really not as angry as I sound... no man (recently) has cheated on me or anything... but just so, so many men are doing the craziest things lately. I just don't get it!

Okay, 'nuff of that vent. On to nicer topics.

EO: My husband is a great guy. Completely obsessed with sports, beer and sex, but faithful as the day is long a good friend and a wonderful father. That being said, always remember this: If it's got tires or testicles, it's bound to give you trouble.

ME: What's wrong with men, and it's cheating that makes you ask? Has much to do with the disruption of his opportunity to come to his mother's breast, gaze into her eyes, bask in her arms, in safety, and suckle at will -- when connection and intimacy are disrupted it wires and fires. This is what the majority of males have experienced. Then he has ... See Morebeen handled by strange women, roughly and separated from her and most men today were isolated in a nursery crying, being boundary violated over and over. And then, his penis, his sex organ, is mutilated, most likely after being strapped down against his will by a FEMALE nurse.

Circumcision short circuits the neural system between the brain and the penis, robs them of the full capacity to be empathetic. Of course, it still has it's primary functions -- urinary and ejaculation. The circumcized man spends his life looking for the fulfillment of something in his head that can seem to be completed through the penis, but is supposed to. Its why they are rough and thoughtless with women, even the ones they love. They have to be focused, have images in their heads, and work really, really hard to get what their brain tells them there is ... but can't do it without the nerve endings in the penis. They're frustrated .... it must be HER fault, and her and her and her, Looking for that connection that was lost.

Having done months of shows talking to the experts in circumcision and birth on my radio show, (www.thoughtcrimeradio.blogspotc.om) and listening to men I see men differently. After two years of talking to men about their experience of their baby's birth, after a decade of intense study of birth trauma and the healing of it ..... I'm .... I guess that why's I'm doing the film ... to bring to light the extreme traumatization of the male baby and how it impacts him for life. It's why I'm so rabid about the care and touch and the emotional quality of the team when birthing a baby.

Watch the circumcision on my blog, if you can. And, if you can't it tells you a lot. THIS is the pain, deep, deep pain that 90% of our men carry that is "unconscious" to them, but drives them. Years and layers of years later, he is still crying to connect. He will always act out his breaks in the connection with his mother with other women.

SN: Love this and you Barbara!!! I AGREE!! We aren't stupid, and if not the smell of perfume. Then its the look all over their face! BUSTED

SN: L. Janel, I would like to post your comment please on my page. This is just so wonderfully put, I'd like to share it,

AR (man): Janel, I love your explanation. It makes a lot of sense. I'm always looking for the science or evolutionary explanation of the "why?". I'm curious if this is a just a good theory or if you have empirical data to support it. And how, in a similar way, does it relate to why a female spouse cheats, which many do. Also how does it explain the why of ... See Moremales cheating in other cultures, and in previous generations where breatsfeeding is the overwhelming norm and circumcision is rarely practiced. As a cinematographer who favors the doco form, I am intrigued by your project. Bon Chance with it.

Podcast to my interview on "Love, Sex, Pregnancy, Childbirth and Parenting

2009-12-28T23:45:00.003-06:00

I was a guest on Jeanice Barcelo's blog talk show on December 23rd. In the last ten minutes I share with her a situation that happened in late April -- the reason for the delay in finishing part one. Here's her announcement and link to the podcast follows.

Jeanice Barcelo Heads-up everyone! My radio show - "Love, Sex, Pregnancy, Childbirth & Parenting" - airs in less than two hours. This week, Janel Martin will be my guest. Janel is in the midst of making a birth film for fathers called "The Other Side of the Glass." This film promises to be an incredible look into the experience of fathers -- many of whose partners have given birth in a hospital -- alienating the dads and creating separation in the family. Janel is also a birth trauma specialist and a babykeeper/attachment therapist. Her focus is on keeping the soul's journey into the physical world as the focus of birth. Please join us today at 11AM Hawaii time, 1PM Pacific, 4PM Eastern to hear this incredible show. Callers are welcome: (646) 478-3967

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/jeanice-barcelo/2009/12/23/love-sex-pregnancy-childbirth-parenting

Support a New Father and Go Green

2009-10-27T12:34:00.003-05:00

Story about a father seeking custody of his newborn and a fundraiser to help him pay for legal fees.

The fundraiser is very reciprocal offering a green household product sample package for $20. Details below. First, the story.

Dear mommas, friends and colleagues,

I am writing asking for support in helping my son Alexander reunite with his infant daughter Bella, who was taken in a parental abduction ten days after his girlfriend, Alex gave birth to her in our home. They are now in New Jersey, where they are actively keeping Allie and our family from any contact with Bella. I have attached Allie’s story about his experience of becoming a father, so that you will know in his words what has happened.

It is clear based upon their actions that Alex’s family has been under the direction of an attorney whose methods involve attempts to demean and discredit our family’s beliefs in homebirth, breastfeeding, attachment, holistic health care and attention to the psycho-spiritual well-being of infants. Allie has been lied to, attacked, insulted, threatened and cut off completely from his daughter. A birth certificate has been filed without his name and he has been denied the opportunity to give his daughter his surname. The actions taken by Alex and her family against Allie and our family are so atrocious as to be almost unbelievable. But, they are indeed quite true.

When the moms in the Moms’ group I facilitate heard this story, they wanted to organize a fundraiser to help Allie pay for legal assistance to gain custody of Bella. Unfortunately, such fundraisers are complicated to organize and can cost more than they ultimately raise. Right now, we are being told that Allie needs at least $7500 for legal fees.

Energetically, Allie maintains his connection to Bella every day, working to keep his vibration up, to communicate heart-to-heart with his daughter, to access supportive therapies and keep a positive attitude, knowing that Bella needs him and deserves the love and devotion of her father on a daily basis. Allie loves Bella dearly.

Sadly, Alex is completely unconscious as to the needs of her daughterand acts only from her own fears, insecurities and neediness. In her fear and under the control and manipulation of her family, she has stated that Bella has no awareness of Allie and that she will never know of his absence. Bella spent the first ten days of her life in her father’s arms when not at her mother’s breast. She slept by him every night and recognized his love for her immediately. Allie has read a great deal about attachment and understands quite well the damage being done to Bella through her mother’s actions. Her experience of his loss
to her can only be one of abandonment, which even further serves to tear him apart. This false premise, that Bella has no awareness of Allie and no experience of loss has been encouraged and reinforced by Alex’s parents, who clearly have not even the most basic understanding of infant psychology. For her part, Alex’s focus is on herself and her own wants and needs, expecting that her life should not change in any way and resenting Bella’s intrusion into her life.

In reality, Bella has already experienced deep psychological trauma due to the ignorance of her mother and the manipulations of her grandparents. First, her very existence was denied, as her mother lied about her pregnancy for 34 weeks. She experienced her mother’s fear, denial and complete lack of connection. Think of all the times a pregnant mother talks to her baby, strokes her belly, thinks of her baby with love and wonder. Think of all the love and affection a father shows both the mother and the baby during gestation. All of the love that flows from extended family and friends, delighting in her coming. Bella experienced none of this. There was no connection, no love, no wondrous expectation—only oblivion. Yet, at birth, she was welcomed wholly and completely into our home, into the arms of her father who had no idea of the machinations of her frightened mother and jealous, angry, resentful grandparents.

Allie was prepared to take leave from school, seek employment and rearrange his life to put Bella’s needs first and foremost. Now, he is in the unenviable position of needing a lot of money and resources to secure his relationship with his daughter. Not that we underestimate the power and love and energy in this family, but sometimes that love and energy need to co-mingle with other kinds of actions that support the desired outcome.

When Allie and I discussed the idea of a fundraiser, he felt strongly that it is important for him to provide something meaningful in exchange. Before Allie was aware of Alex’s pregnancy, he signed on as a distributor for WowGreen, a natural enzyme-based cleaning product, to assist him in paying for his education. Now, while Allie intends to return to school in January, it is more important than ever that he have the ability to make money, both because he needs to pay a lawyer and because he needs to have long-term income sources to support Bella.

As it turns out, WowGreen has a very simple fundraiser available that can be easily organized and completed quickly. WowGreen markets a sample box that contains five products and sells for $20 as a fundraising product. The typical fundraiser asks 20 people to sell 20 trial boxes each and would provide $4000 to Allie. Additional sales yield additional funds, of course. Allie and I are asking the many families and individuals we know who care about the deeply significant relationship between an infant and her father, as well as the well-being of the planet to help Allie raise this money.

Each person’s energy contributed to Bella’s return will likely be the most powerful aspect of this entire process. Remember, we live in an inclusive Universe—if we focus on Bella and Allie as one, they will be together.

In love and gratitude,
Jennifer

I have included only the end of Allie's letter here in case you don't feel the need or have the time to read it in its entirety. The
pertinent information about the fundraiser in copied here:
I am unable to come to any resolution with Alex and must seek legal assistance to gain joint custody of Bella. I have been asked for a $7500 retainer and my family cannot afford this. Several of the moms who are in my mother’s Moms’ Group have offered to organize a fundraiser to help me with these costs. Several ideas were discussed, but I felt that I would like to be able to give something in exchange for the help.

A couple of months before Bella was born, I became involved in a company that sells natural household cleaning products through a company called WOWGreen LLC. As my mother’s letter explained, I intend to use this business to help me get my daughter back. Since making that decision, I have learned a lot from this experience and am designing a website and blog to educate other people of my generation about the options they have in many areas of their lives other than those spoon-fed to us through schools, the media and advertising.

In researching my parental rights, I have followed a path toward discovering just how misinformed and uneducated most people are about the needs of babies and children. From there, I read and explored a lot more about the ideas I was raised with. People my age need to make better choices in diet, lifestyle, education, health care and even in plans for raising children. I want to teach people my age how important these things are and that they have many choices to make they are not even aware of. Creating the life we want can begin at any age. We do not need to reach middle age and suddenly realize we have lived in a
way that doesn’t bring us joy. We can make active decisions to create lives that rise to our highest personal potential. Selling these products is the beginning of my intention to create a broader forum for reaching young people and inspiring them to live lives of joy that include health, well-being and caretaking the planet.

Fundraiser and Product information:

Some of the key points about these products:
It is a contradiction to imagine that your home or office can be clean if the products used leave toxic residue on services. WowGreen contains no toxins and leaves no such residue.

They have 4 plant-based ingredients: Enzymes, Natural Surfactants (Natural Surfacing Agents, natural soaps that are 100% non-toxic), Natural scents and dyes and Water. Nothing else. The different products simply utilize different enzymes.

Of the twelve products, half are shipped in refillable plastic spray bottles. Refills are simply small packets that you add your own water to. This saves hugely on environmental impact, as there is no landfill waste and less to ship in the future.

You can replace all of the toxic products in your home or office. The people responsible for cleaning your office or home are no longer exposed to toxins in their “workplace”.

Here are some options to consider:
If you are willing to organize a group to fundraise or if you are willing to sell the trial boxes yourself to friends and family, then we can provide you with a single trial box for demonstration purchases for $20 if you are local ($25 including shipping otherwise). Once you have pre-sold a case of twelve, we can ship it to you directly. Once you and others have tried the products you may simply purchase the full-size products that you like through Allie’s link, which will allow him to continue to have an income stream from this fundraiser. If you would prefer to, you can sign up as a Preferred Customer to purchase the full-size products. You may also become a distributor, as I have.

Whatever you choose, please do not think any effort is too small. It is only through these small efforts that I hope to have the opportunity to raise my beautiful daughter Bella.

Sincerely with gratitude,
Allie Tow
860-338-3733
alexandertow@yahoo.com

A link to the explanation of the Enzymes:
http://www.wowgreen.net/Products-ScienceBehindTheIngredient.aspx?ID159

My WOWGreen™ home page:
http://www.wowgreen.net/?ID159

Fundraising information:
http://www.wowgreen.net/images/FundraisingIntroLetter.pdf

Product order page:
https://www.wowgreen.net/DefaultProductListing.aspx?ID159

This is the enrollment page:
http://www.wowgreen.net/Enroll.aspx?ID159

Woman writes letter to her OB

2009-08-27T10:34:00.000-05:00

From VBACFACTS.com
An OB you like or who makes you comfortable isn’t enough

Many women do not interview OBs/midwives when selecting their VBAC care provider. They either stay with the GYN who has been providing their well-woman care or the same OB who performed their cesarean because they like them.

Women they really believe that if they are good patients, if they are friendly, if they don’t question to much, if they are good-natured, their OB will treat them with the same courtesy by reading their birth plan, respecting their wishes, supporting their desire for a vaginal birth, and creating an environment where VBAC is the goal. In short, the woman believes that she will receive a genuine opportunity to VBAC.

However, as we read below, it is not enough to like your OB. It’s not enough that you feel comfortable with them. They need to support VBAC. They need to see the value in vaginal birth.

Dear Dr. XYZ:

It is with great reluctance that I submit payment to you for services rendered.

I hired you for an intervention free VBAC. Instead I had EVERY intervention I told you I did not want. Under your care, I failed in the most basic way a woman can fail – I failed to birth my children. You ignored each and every point on my birth plan. I cannot help but wonder if you even read it, or if you ever had any intention of following it.

I needed time for my body to do what it was designed to do. I needed support from my doctor, from my nurses, and from my hospital. What I did NOT need was to be pumped full of drugs, have multiple interventions that I specifically stated I did not want and pushed into a surgical procedure. I am especially struck by our final interaction prior to consent. Never, for the rest of my life, will I forget how you made your speech, and then stalked out of the room. I recall thinking “I’m actually paying to be treated like this? To be verbally bereted and physically tortured?”

I have no joy when recalling my children’s births.

I have regrets.

I regret coming in for an appointment that day when labor was in the early stages. I regret listening to you that I should go to the hospital “just for some monitoring.” I regret not leaving when labor stalled. I regret agreeing to pitocin. I regret allowing you to turn up the pitocin to a point where I could not stand it without pain relief. I regret getting the epidural instead of just screaming my lungs out until it was over. I regret letting you artificially rupture my membranes. I regret allowing the monitoring – internal and external. I regret not telling you that this was my baby, my birth experience, and I wasn’t having a C-section without a court order.

But what I regret most is choosing you as my provider. I knew going in that you had a high C-section rate, that you had already given me most of those interventions with my first child. But I liked you, and allowed that to influence my decision.

How I wished I had chosen someone I loathed who would have worked with me to get the natural birth I desired. In the end, liking you got me nothing that I REALLY wanted.

So, here is your money. I don’t particularly think you have earned it, but I want to be free of this one last reminder of the worst experience of my life.

Sincerely,

Jenn in St. Louis

Michel Odent's Observations about Men in Birth

2009-07-20T10:11:00.002-05:00

An article about Michel Odent and his observation that the presence of a man in labor and birth disrupts and slows labor has created quite a discussion on Face Book (and probably elsewhere).

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,27574,25804208-36398,00.html

I was encouraged to whip up a piece with his interview with me where he talked about this.

In it, one can hear Michel Odent, MD, in his own words, discussing his observations about the impact of men in the birthing environment.

My teacher of birth trauma healing, Raymond Castellino, has collected obstetric text books from the forties. It is helpful in treating the trauma from birth to know the trends and what was likely during an era. Obstetrics is like fashion; it goes in trends. Every ten years obstetrics promotes something very different as "scientific". In the 70's the push by who? WAS it women? got father's in the hospital room with birthing woman.

In the 1940's the obstetric text books warned against the use of drugs ... for the mother AND the baby. An interesting piece of history is that it was WOMEN who wanted to use drugs during birth. It is part of the feminist movement. Women campaigned and fought for the right for "pain relief" during birth. Even the Pope had to ok it because women by God's orders, remember, are meant to bear the pain of labor for punishment for the ruin of Man.

Odent's voice and observations must be heard during this time of strength of women claiming their bodies and their baby's birth and the fight to keep midwifery legal and so the right for women to choose the caregiver and place she chooses.

The question of whether or not it is best for the birth of the baby and for the mother AND for the FATHER for him to be there has to be considered.

Odent has unique perspective that likely few if any OBSTETRICIANS have experienced. He shares at the beginning that how his observations of fathers disrupting the mother's labor and birth is based on attending birth in every situation home and hospital, both excluding fathers and including fathers. He started in the early 50's as a physician/surgeon and attended women where the father was not present. Then in 70's to mid 80's he attended births in the hospital where the father WAS present; then a decade of attending homebirths with the father present. And since the early 2000's he attends homebirth with an experienced woman, a Doula, with his presence only to make it legal. He and the father are not in the birth.

I have heard often this past two years working on this film of fathers who do not want to be in the birth, and the now forty years later the expectation is that every man must be there or something is wrong with him, he is a betrayor if he doesn't want to be there and perform the way he is supposed to. Never mind that HIS feelings are rarely considered, never mind that HE must be prepared to participate in the birth that is heavily controlled by others and by DOGMA. Either he has to abide by the "medical model" and physicians and nurses rules and expectations based on insurance and hospital needs, or he has to abide by the "midwifery model" including homebirth and the midwives guidance, theories, and expectations.

Society, theorists, doctors, women have very rarely included the male in ANY decision but Odent is saying they haven't LOOKED AT THE IMPACT on LABOR AND BIRTH.

Odent is questioning how the social expectation of men at birth happened and progressed, WITHIN THE HOSPITAL SETTING, not by midwives, but by theorists, in the early 70's, without ever looking at the impact of the change; without asking HOW WILL IT IMPACT THE LABORING MOTHER?

What I, the baby advocate/birth trauma therapist, filmmaker/interviewer, sees is that men in birth is one more issue in birth that is defined and controlled by the medical establishment. As long as birth is in the clutches of doctors, insurers, and lawyers, what ever we do as consumers to try to change practices within the system are going to be distorted and manipulated to stay within that framework.

The question is, WHAT did happen when the movement, the "fight" began to include fathers? How did men participate in it? DO men really truly want to be in the middle of it? And, do women really want them to be? Can a man today say so if he doesn't want to? Society now, 40 years later, expects a man to be there or something is wrong with him. Now, it's a "betrayal" of his partner if he doesn't.

Perhaps, women who birth at home will begin to validate his findings. I hear it enough. She doesn't actually want him there. ONE MORE thing that women and men DON'T communicate honestly -- because they haven't the language or training. WHAT do women want when they free themselves from the medical establishment's restriction and dogma? WHAT DO MEN REALLY WANT AND NEED? We need to know this important information in order to create a new way of birthing.

We need to find out ... way beyond the medicalized, indoctrinated dogma of what we've been taught is normal ... we need to support women to choose to not have their husband and we need to support men who now feel rejected or left out when she doesn't. In part two Dr. Odent explains more the impact on the relationship the disruption of birth where there is this conflict.

I think men might be numb and angry and overzealous, over needy to violent in their efforts to control women because of their exclusion in birth that has also taken away THEIR ability to really participate in the way they need to, the way the nature intended?

Baby's Colic Linked to Fathers Prenatal Depression

2009-06-30T12:15:00.007-05:00

Colicky infants who cry excessively may be more common in children of depressed men, Dutch researchers said Monday. Go to full article here.

Depression before child's birth

Recognizing paternal depression next to maternal depression before childbirth could be beneficial for identifying fathers who need help for themselves and their children.

It's unlikely the baby's crying caused men to be depressed since they were screened for the condition before the child was born, they noted.

The researchers speculated that the link between a father's depression and their baby's colic could be related to:

Genetics (though false paternity could not be ruled out in the study.)
Poor interaction between depressed fathers and their infants.
Indirect stress from marital, family or economic pressures.

This is great new breakthrough on two levels -- looking at the PRENATAL period when baby is built and looking at the impact of the father's emotional and mental state on that period. HOWEVER, as with most research, there is NO observation, inclusion, or mention of the EXPERIENCE of labor, birth, and first hours of life outside the womb.

Most research done regarding birth -- especially about the baby, but also the mother, and definitely the father, leaves out THE BIRTH! It is a huge, huge, I think GLARING omission in most research designed to tell us very important information about babies and parents. How can it when it doesn't include the baby, mother's, and father's experiences of birth?

Think about it. Be aware and notice this. From now see I bet you will also notice that our language when speaking, reading, and researching about the baby, the mother, father, and family and baby development almost always uses the phrase "before and after birth?" The baby and parents for generations have left the hospital expected to suck up whatever happened and "be happy that the baby is alive." I believe it is a monumental break in our fundamental relationships. Women and men, mothers and fathers, go home to live their lives with these huge unnamed, unrecognized, unintegrated individual and family violations and woundings.

How could science leave out the EXPERIENCE of birth for the baby, the mother, and the father as a factor in any research? How could the impact of birth on us as a baby not be recognized and how could our mother's experience of birthing us and our father's experience of being there and seeing us come into the world not be the subject of research? When it is allowed to become the subject of joy and power, maybe .....

Father's with Babies Study

2009-06-22T22:12:00.000-05:00

FATHERS WITH BABIES STUDY

Every day, over 10,000 men in the United States become the fathers of new babies. Surprisingly little is known about the social and emotional experiences of fathers with babies and young children. In an interest to improve the well-being of new dads – and to foster the well-being of their children and families – the purpose of this study is to better understand the experiences of dads with babies, as well as the causes and consequences of the joys and challenges these fathers face.

ABOUT THE STUDY

This study is being conducted by Dr. Will Courtenay, in collaboration with the Center for Men and Young Men at McLean Hospital, Harvard Medical School . Dr. Courtenay is an internationally recognized researcher and scholar whose work focuses on understanding and helping men and fathers. Dr. Courtenay has served on the clinical faculty in the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School , and the University of California , San Francisco , Medical School .

Taking part in this study means completing an online survey. In the first part of the survey, you will be asked some background information about you and your baby. In the rest of the survey, you will be asked about experiences you’ve had as a father and with your spouse or partner, as well as your attitudes on a variety of topics. You will also be asked questions about your feelings and behaviors that relate to your moods. The survey should take about 20-25 minutes to complete.

The survey is completely anonymous. You will not be asked to identify yourself or provide any identifying information.

WHO SHOULD PARTICIPATE

For this study, we are interested in the participation of adult males over 18 years of age, who have had a baby (or babies) within the last year. If you are not an adult male over 18 years of age and have not had a baby (or babies) within the last year, thank you for your interest in the study, but please do not continue with the survey.

WHY YOU SHOULD PARTICIPATE

Fathers have an enormously positive impact on their babies and young children. We understand this from lots of good research. But the impact that babies have on their fathers, is relatively unknown. Your participation will help to generate a greater understanding of the experiences of dads with babies. We hope that, ultimately, this greater understanding will help foster the well-being of fathers, their children and their families as a whole.

ADDITIONAL INFORMATION

If you would like additional information about the study, or have questions about it, you can contact Dr. Will Courtenay at DadsStudy@MensDoc. com to answer any questions about the survey.

STUDY LINK

You can go to the survey by clicking on this link:

https://www. psychdata. com/s.asp? SID=130274

____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ __

Will Courtenay, PhD, LCSW, "The Men's Doc"
Helping Men Live Happier, More Fulfilling Lives
McLean Hospital , Harvard Medical School
2811 College Avenue, Suite 1
Berkeley , CA 94705-2165
415-346-6719
DrCourtenay@ TheMensDoc. com
TheMensDoc.com

YouTube Censored ME and other news

2009-05-14T11:45:00.003-05:00

But someone had to report it as "offensive". What is up with that!!?? I take great care to blur and to be conservative. I did show breasts in the entry to the Better Birth Virginia Contest. I want to engage people who would not have heard this info ... people who are no so free as to birth so freely as women at home do. What was offensive? The breasts? Or the message -- that the medical establishment has been cutting human babies off from their vital placental blood that would give them the better chance for GOOD LIFETIME HEALTH!? And, in doing so, they also cut the mother and baby's relationship short so that we will have a myriad of psycho-social issues all rooted in disempowered women and maternal guilt and shame. Am I mad? YEAH.

My son is in Afghanistan again .. where he has been most of this last three years. I can bear it only when I keep focused on his passion for protecting this country and our freedom. I justify that he is preserving my freedom of speech, my freedom to speak on behalf of babies and men ... and this really pisses me off!!

I had to redo and reload the trailer and my entry to the Better Birth Virginia Contest. I hope you'll vote for my short, "We Can Be Much Kinder".

The music is original composed and performed FOR me by Michael Stillwater, www.InnerHarmony.com at an Honoring Ceremony in Scottsdale, AZ in March 2009. In a group of eight other people, my intention/need was to have focus in my project and as I was feeling overwhelmed by my family's wounding (the hospital birth family), my own birth, and my babies births, I asked to be able to forgive and to have compassion for all involved. A few moments later Michael "channeled" this brand new song for me. He is also doing original music for Part One/Two. Check out his website and the Honor Ceremony.

In early June I will be meeting with an editor in MO to polish up Part One. It's really happening. Meanwhile, I am fundraising big time to pay for it and the upgraded professional production package. See previous posting for details. Please check out the donation plan I have outlined here.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND YOUR WORK IN OUR EFFORT TO HEAL BIRTH!!

Yeah, I am shouting that ... so grateful for you all.

Film and Donation Update

2009-05-08T16:51:00.004-05:00

I am leaving CA tomorrow and heading east to Missouri first and later to Illinois, and in June to Georgia, NY, and wherever else the story (part 3 and 4) leads me. I am still the one-woman production team -- traveling, filming/interviewing, and editing, and I anticipate doing so through June. It is very challenging but I do know the light at the end of the tunnel is not a freight train. I have a colleague/editor who will be available in mid July and I hope we are working on Part 3 by then!

I have changed my production plans regarding Part One ... which is good because the quality will be better but not so good as it means a delay. The company I am using to create the end product has two options. One allows me to get 1-300 burned copies and requires that I do the DVD label and cover design on their online graphics program, which I did in January/February. The other option is an industry quality glass mastered product and requires a HUGE minimum order and requires that they do in-house label and cover design at a big cost -- even if using my design. I have decided to go for the second option. I have decided to go for my first-run/printing/mastering as the real deal, the whole shebang .... and not end up with two versions, the original being a lessor quality. But I have to raise more funds and that delays the whole process until I do ... while completing the thing, of course.

I have updated the information to the right here regarding donating to the project and being the first to receive Part One:

This is the best opportunity to get your copy of Part One at a decent price. When the film is released the price will go up and shipping will be added.

Because the film's audience is also Doulas, midwives, and childbirth educators -- and to show my gratitude for your support -- people who have donated to receive Part One will also be eligible for special discount prices on future bulk orders (of all four parts as they will come out separately) to sell to their clients. Donors over $40 will also be eligible for an additional discount and to have their business/website listed in the closing credits.

Donors over $100 will also be eligible for all future deals related to the film, such as the discounts and special benefits (tbd) for screenings and/to raise funds for local birth groups.

All donors will be listed in the "thank you" in the credits.

Part 1: From the Womb to the World is "due any minute." I am laboring intensely. Please be patient: I am still one-woman production crew and still traveling (with teenager, dog, and a cat) to film and editing along the way.

Part 2: His Moment of Awe is due out hopefully by Father's Day ... yeah, that could be 2010, but let's all hope for 2009!!

Part 1 will expand upon the information presented in the trailer. Looking at Andrew's birth, part one will provide the basic information men and women need to make birth safer -- wherever they give birth. The series is designed for women and men to present to their caregiver -- midwife, nurse, or doctor; and for childbirth educators, midwives and doctors to show to expectant men and women.

Part One Update

2009-05-06T05:04:00.004-05:00

Just wanted to let you know that I am still working on Part One of the film. I had really hoped to have Part One ready by the first of May ... and here it is May 6th already. I know, I know ... I've been saying that for every month for six months. Since November I've been in Phoenix one month and CA one month, back to Phoenix, and then to California again. I am still interviewing and editing which is all very time consuming. There is so much to do and as the one-woman crew I am always up to my eyeballs and way behind.

I had a tragic family emergency a week ago and then the next day I also found out that my younger son has returned to Afghanistan -- again. I was out-of-commission last week and I am now standing again. A whole lot of life has happened in the past three-4 years to get me prepared for doing this film and to get me on the road, and big time while I've been "on the road" for the past sixteen months. It's been a truly exciting, once-in-a-lifetime experience. Living one's dream always is. I have met and interviewed the most wonderful people and I am most grateful for the loving and generous support of people around the world.

Being "on the road" is so exciting, but it makes editing very challenging. It takes time to set up and get back into the groove. I am looking forward to settling back into home and hearth in the fall to finish editing Parts 2, 3, and 4 ... "where" is yet to be revealed to me. Any ideas?

I am very aware of how important it is that Part One be done well and the closer I get the more aware I am of how challenging it is "to be done" (on many levels.) I am reminded of when I painted and how hard it was to be done. It is more like how doing a huge 1000 piece zigsaw puzzle appears to me -- only twice as many pieces and they have multiple places they "fit". You only use half the pieces and they could fit together anywhere. It's hard to know when it is completed. The story is amazing though ... and I am very much looking forward to information being available.

I want to thank everyone who has donated to my film and who awaits the arrival of their copy. I appreciate your patience, and your enthusiastic, passionate, and generous support. I couldn't do it without you ... and without the work that you are doing in the field. I am grateful for your support. I really feel the love for Andrew and his mother and father ... as this film is for them ... my loved ones who experienced the violations in their births and in their baby's births, and whose story will help many, many others.

Part One will be worth the wait .... I promise.

Home births: here's three we made earlier

2009-04-21T13:16:00.002-05:00

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article6134730.एस
From The Times
April 21, 2009
Home births: here's three we made earlier
A former Blue Peter presenter on why, when it comes to childbirth, there's no place like home
Peter Duncan

I'm frustrated by the clichés surrounding childbirth. If I read another article such as Melanie Reid's in this newspaper last week - in which she said that women who choose home births are spoilt and complacent - or have to listen to another couple state that their baby would have died if they hadn't been born in hospital, I shall eat the next plancenta I find in the freezer.
Grotesque though this may sound, occasionally I have come across them there - where else can they go when you have your babies at home? You can't leave them for the dustman along with the empty champagne bottles।

I have a distinct inner feminine nature। Certainly my male outer shell was almost invisible when I partnered my wife in our children's home births। There were no sandals worn, as Reid suggested, nor any sign of squeamishness। My wife chose to have her babies with a midwife, who was with her throughout the entire journey - from when those first few cells were dividing to the time the baby had gained a few pounds to compulsory breastfeeding। She also chose to not to go into hospital, a place dominated by inner and outer males whose protocols dictate the procedure in the business of birth. All birthing animals like to be born - and die, incidentally - in familiar, dark and gentle places.

I might have been more in line with my species by saying: “If the doctors say you have got to have a C-section because the baby is breech then they must be right because they're doctors। This is the 21st century; they can take away the pain so you don't have to suffer। What counts is the baby's life and yours। There's no need to act like a spoilt, complacent woman।”

Of course it's not compulsory for men to be there at the sharp end, cutting the cord, breathing with your partner when she panics, but it's better than hanging around in the corridor wondering what is going on।

The excitement of being at home for me meant that I had no choice but to be in the thick of it। The sheer joy of looking at your child's features and recognising your own in them, to be allowed to hold your seconds-old newborn and place her on your partner's chest. For your tears of ecstasy to drip on to your first son (after three daughters) as you repeat, mantra-like: “It's a boy, it's a boy, it's a boy.” I even commented on the minor repairs of a small tear on the perineum - none of these intimacies could happen unless you are in your own space.

My mother, who was also present at one of our children's births, had a profound experience। She, like me, could remember nothing of our difficult forceps delivery; her fear of birth was expunged. The trail of little feet, who always time their entrance after the event, somehow sleeping through the raised night-time noise levels, pile in to prod, kiss and fondle their new sibling. It's a party atmosphere and everyone is invited.

It doesn't happen like that in the wing of your average hospital। My wife's future, and consequently mine, was born by the nature of our children's arrival: two breech and two cephalic (with head down, the most usual birthing position). The experience precipitated the choice of a new career for her as an independent midwife. Our first-born, Lucy, was a rare thing, spending her first year of life as a Blue Peter baby. She set the tone and I can remember arguing that if they didn't put breastfeeding on children's TV I was leaving the show. I also entertained viewers with incompetent male demonstrations of bathing, weaning and nappy changing.

The pragmatic truth about the hospital birthing industry is that we don't quite trust it to provide a proper and responsible service। It is not its fault that midwives and doctors work in dysfunctional institutions that sometimes make mistakes and misjudgments that affect us. It is not intentional. We try to choose the best hospital as we try to choose the right school, but sometimes it doesn't work out. The problem with hospitals is that they like routine and babies don't always fit into their schedule. Just check the Caesarean rate on a Friday. On the other hand what a fantastic facility to have available when there is a real problem such as pre-eclampsia or placenta praevia, and they are there to intervene and save a life. The problem is that they want to intervene in normal birth too - with epidurals, inductions, the effect of opiate drugs and inappropriate communication that can lead to poor outcomes.

Reid claims that homebirth is a minority sport. Not true. Where homebirth is available with one-to-one care the statistics shoot up. In Torbay, in Devon, it's 11 per cent. A National Childbirth Trust survey says that 25 per cent of women would consider it, if it were more available.
The real issue is not whether you have your baby at home or in a hospital, it is how you have your baby। It is “continuity of care” that is the key - a trained midwife who is with a woman from start to finish and a little beyond. It is a holistic approach because how you think and feel about it affects your confidence to give birth and function as a future parent. If you can achieve that in hospital then fine; if not, you should be able to consider alternatives.

This is where men can make a difference. You may think your role is insignificant and all you are doing is protecting your partner and unborn child by making sure they get the right treatment. Well, treatment is usually for illness and for most normal births it is not required. What is required from men is that they trust their partner's instincts and understand emotionally what is occurring. The first call is still your GP: if you don't like what you hear get a second opinion. Take responsibility and stop colluding with other males with the mindset of taking control.
I think I was brave to side with my wife's instincts when she became “high risk” because the baby was breech। “You don't want a dead baby” was the advice I got from everyone. I knew that what I said to my wife would have a huge impact on what we did. I know most males would not take that route, fearing that the blame of giving the wrong signals would fall on them if it all went wrong. But that's what responsibility is: making choices with your heart and mind and living with the consequences.

As you get older, increasingly, your heart rules your head. When I think back to the moment my grown children entered the world just feet from where I'm sitting yet more tears drip into my keyboard. I think about how those first few moments together has affected everything that has happened since.
www.heresoneimadeearlier.com

The Film in New Zealand

2009-04-14T13:29:00.002-05:00

The following article was written for a New Zealand magazine coming out soon.

The Other Side of the Glass:
Finally a Birth Film Series for Fathers
By Suze Keys, New Zealand
(in communication with L. Janel Martin)

The Other Side of the Glass is a four-part film by US baby doula/birth trauma therapist/film-maker L. Janel Martin (the Baby Keeper) that looks at fathers’ role in the birth of their children.

The film's fundraising trailer can be viewed at http://www.theothersideoftheglass.com and is a heart wrenching look into the experiences of multi-generations of fathers at the (hospital) birth of their children, how they are powerless to help their newborn at the mercy of the medical personnel, how they watch their babies in the nursery from “the other side of the glass”.

Part One: "From the Womb to the World"
presents current research and fathers’ birth stories, and questions the routine use of interventions in birth, while introducing resources for creating safe and connected birth wherever birth happens. It is also a fundraiser trailer. Donors of $15 or more will receive a copy of first edition. Due out any minute.

Part Two: “His Moment of Awe”
continues with father's stories from around the country, and features the needs of the mother, baby, and father in first moments outside the womb- It goes beyond the idea of fathers as the protector and advocate at birth, to show that medical caregivers must be the ones to ensure the protection of the mother-baby-father relationship. Features ten physicians. Musician, Michael Stillwater, www.innerharmony.com provides original music. Due out by Father's Day.

Part Three: "The Canary Flies" focuses on several fathers who talk about how their lives were transformed by the experience of trusting their wife, who trusted her body and birth, and how they are as fathers because of this experience. Original music by one of the couples, Tyree and Jesca, aka The Katalysts will be featured. Due out by the end of summer 2009.

Part 4: Untitled, is about the pre and perinatal psychology (preconception through breastfeeding); the methods of treatment for integrating and healing, and is about how we can heal humanity by acknowledging that the human baby is an aware and sentient being, capable of perception and feeling at birth. Part four focuses on the impact of drugs, interventions done without regard for the baby, separation, isolation, and circumcision on humanity, but especially on the male baby.

The film's foundation is that the human prenate and newborn is a sentient (aware and feeling) being at birth (as it is from conception forward). Based on knowing that babies are conscious beings and that the experience of birth is remembered in the body, mind, and soul, fathers are asked to research for themselves what is best for their partner and baby.

This preparation allows fathers to claim the experience of meeting their baby for the first time outside the womb. Men's role in hospital birth has been defined by the medical establishment; subsequently many men are disempowered during the births of their children and are prevented from supporting or connecting with their newborn baby in those first minutes of life.

When his child and partner are honored and respected by caregivers, whether midwife or doctor, a father can embrace his birth experience.

Finally, a birth film for fathers.

Men are vulnerable at birth but powerful in numbers

2009-04-03T13:52:00.009-05:00

I got this comment on the trailer on Youtube:

Where does this overwhelming respect for authority come from, that it allows hospital staff to abuse mom & baby?
I sure don't have it.
For five bucks I'll attend your birth and if an attendant ignores a "No" or a direct request, I'll break their freaking face.

You might make a lot of money if you could be in so many places at once. Since that's not possible I hope the film shows the medical based caregivers -- doctors, nurses, and midwives -- how they can support and protect the father as well.

How is it that we have "this overwhelming respect for authority?" Well, this is going to be a big part of Parts 2, 3, and 4. I would not use the word "respect" to describe how men and women acquiesce the control of their body, mind, and soul to strangers who sadly do not remember that this other human being before them, in their care, is a also sacred being, a soul in this body, a whole human being.

I think it is fear; a physiological response to the generational impact of giving it over and being dominated. As I interviewed men this year, as the filming and editing evolved, I came to see the true nature and role of the male is not to be the big, powerful protector against invaders and predators during his baby's birth. It's like asking him to protect his family from a home invader who just happened to break in as he and his partner have just made love. Right in the middle of that glow, in that rush of love hormones, taking a drag on his cigarette, a man disrupted is a man who can be easily toppled. He is the least likely to be able to protect anything but his own jewels. (And, yeah, part 4 WILL get into how circumcision of the male child who has most likely been induced, drugged, roughly handled, separated from his mother and father, isolated, mishandled by numerous women doing hospital routines, and THEN has the end of his penis cut off leads to a man who is standing there frozen, basically unable to protect himself, let alone his partner and baby.)

A man is physiologically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually vulnerable at the moment of his baby's birth. He is witnessing his baby, the result of his love and sperm, emerge, and he is taking in how amazing and powerful his partner is -- all of this a product, and a consequence of his making this baby. Darn right, in the hospital setting, clearly demonstrated to be one invasion after another, he needs another man there who can protect him so that he can experience the climax of his conception of his baby. Birth. His creation emerging. To have his moment of awe -- see, touch, smell and take in his creation, to gather his partner and baby into the strength and power of his loving, protective heart and arms, that is what he needs.

Imagine, if we lived in a world where we didn't have our homes as fortresses with security systems, walls, fences, gates, and laws to protect our ownership and privacy. And, imagine the only way to ensure that you could have uninterrupted, quality, private lovemaking, and feel vulnerable enough to have an orgasm, and to collapse in the heights of the ecstasy of the moments after was to have your buddy guard the perimeter of your space from predators. Darn right, you'd need your buddy (or two or three) there, willing to "break their freaking face" if an intruder insisted on disrupting or endangering you and your loved one. Men need that in the hospital. And, thank you for offering it.

One thing I hope to accomplish with this film is shifting our current acceptance and perception about it being OK, and the responsibility of a man and woman and a need to prepare to be so fierce in birthing their baby in the hospital. That's a huge social imprint that creates a lot of our issues. I am concerned about this dynamic of having to be educated, armed, and prepared to fight for your rights in the hospital; to fight for what is physiologically natural, and seemingly simple, logical, respectful, kind, and science-based care. What is up with that anyway, that in 2009, in such a "civilized" time and nation, a woman has to go to the hospital prepared to fight for her life against intrusions, drugs, invasions of privacy, and to keep her body and soul intact? I tire of hearing, even from the medical caregivers I've interviewed who DO honor the mother-baby-father trinity, that THE CONSUMERS have to create the change.

Part of me screams, NO! #*#&%@ It is the medical establishment, the people doing it, who must stop what they do that harms a man and his family. Right now. NOW! The science is there, on the side of natural birth and homebirth, and kindness and compassion, but they are allowed to do whatever they wish -- until a movement of consumers hurts their assets enough to make them stop. These caregivers I interviewed have all gone through their own evolution to become the caregivers they are. They need support too. They know that the consumers are the only way that changes happen in their profession. They know too well that those who try from the inside are ostracized and persecuted. I think the shift can happen ... but it will take an uprising of men.

Men have been telling me they need support of other men ... and it is one of the goals of a group I am supporting to grow, Fathers For Better Birth.com, website coming. Contact Kris Amick at amickkris@gmail.com. And, it is why part of my Baby Keeper training, on the back burner simmering away while I finish this film, includes training midwives, doulas, nurses, and doctors how to support men to support men in birth.

Film Update

2009-04-02T11:54:00.005-05:00

Join "The Other Side of the Glass" on Face Book!!

I received a message today:

Thanks for the welcome. I paid for the Other side of the Glass DVD months ago. Do you happen to know when they will be sent out?

I want to keep donors updated. I so appreciate your support ... financial and moral ... as I plow along. Here is the answer:

Any minute ... I was to have two full days with my editing teacher, a professional editor, the first two Mondays of March and have one week in between to do her suggestions. It was to be done then and to show in DC. I went to northern CA where she is but it all got canceled because her father was very ill. She's not available again until mid April but I can't afford to stay there and soooooo.... I am back in Phoenix (14 hour drive) plugging away. I am also still interviewing and filming .... in between travel, editing, transcribing, and corresponding. The MAC quit communicating with the camera so it went to the MAC store and just got back last night. This is how it goes .... and so, I so appreciate your patience. These donations keep me going as does the psychological support knowing that folks are so interested.

I will be having Part One burned professionally. I designed the DVD label and cover several months ago. I will be able to afford to have 100 copies made initially. Who knows!? They might end up being "collectors items" in our field. Donors will also be listed in the "thanks-yous" and I will make sure those of you who helped me at this stage will be remembered and appreciated -- I will make sure you have whatever gets made as it gets done. A couple of people have donated over $200 and they will receive a full copy of the film.

The baby in the hospital birth is my grandson, Erin is my daughter, and the father is my son-in-law. My daughter, 12 at the time, shot the footage. We were prepared for "homebirth in the hospital" (BS, BTW), and my daughter wanted baby in her arms, minimal touch by staff for first hour, delayed cord clamping. She wanted baby to do the "self-attachment, breast-crawl". She got the total opposite. There was no medical reason for any of the interventions they did on Andrew ... for taking him from her, ripping him out of her arms, excessive suctioning (the worst is not in the trailer!), and refusing to give baby back to father after he repeatedly asked for him to go back to the mama. I have been a professional in this field since 1999. We were overpowered and my grandson violated for no reason.

So, I gave up my home over a year ago to go on the road to do this film and my financial support is child support and these donations. Numerous angels have supported me with housing, a computer, etc. My uncle in LA gave me the camera in February 2008. My daughter's home in Phoenix is my "homebase" right now as I travel back and forth to California after leaving Missouri in November. I had spent six months there, in a home, donated by a wonderful woman, Paula Green. Rich Winkle, an fierce advocate for the baby and natural birth bought a MAC for me to use, saying, "This film has to be made." During those six months I studied the editing software and edited programs for a community access television station and then edited the trailer. Back in California for more interviews, a midwife in Long Beach, CA gave me a big pack of 9 V batteries for my microphones. A young couple recently treated my daughter and me to dinner and he gave me a copy of his book. Everything is so appreciated. An older gentleman pressed 3 $20 into my hand in Hollywood after hearing about the film at a meeting. After a showing of parts of Part One at a www.Bepe.info meeting in Nevada City, CA a member handed me a second check for $200. I feel a sense of profound community, around the world, because of making this film. We are all united in one thing -- making birth safer and kinder for the soul in a human body, the baby, who is coming into the lives of a woman and a man.

When I think I can't go another day, or wonder, "What the heck I am doing this for?" or "How will I ever get this done?" either I am blessed with another gift of support, like a $15 donation, or I just remember what it is about for me. It's about Andrew, my grandson. It is a film to bring the info and healing to my daughter and son-in-law and to support Andrew. I am a one-woman crew, a Granny on a mission. The long-term goal is to create a movement of consciousness about the baby and father-led movement to demand that the medical establishment honor him, his partner, and the sacred being they are birthing into their lives.

The trailer was done as a "fundraiser trailer" and limited to 10 min because I wanted to put it on YouTube. I had hoped to find a funder but have found that it is very important for me to have total independence until I get through Part 2. I really do appreciate so much your interest, support, donation and promotion of the film on your groups. Bless you. Part 3 is also amazing ... I never imagined that I would be doing a film on the information that has come out of the journey.

Doctors Don't Want to be Rated Like Every Other Professional

2009-03-11T11:56:00.003-05:00

Doctors fight back against Internet critics
Lindsey Tanner, Associated Press
Wednesday, March 4, 2009 04:00 PDT Chicago --

Some doctors have started fighting back against ugly Internet reviews by asking patients to abide by what are effectively gag orders that bar them from posting negative comments online.

Physicians are taking action as online ratings services such as Yelp and Angie's List grow in popularity and expand their reviews beyond restaurants and plumbers to include medical care, joining dedicated Web sites such as RateMDs.com.

"Consumers and patients are hungry for good information" about doctors, but Internet reviews provide just the opposite, contends Dr. Jeffrey Segal, a North Carolina neurosurgeon who has made a business of helping doctors monitor and prevent online criticism.

Some sites "are little more than tabloid journalism without much interest in constructively improving practices," and their sniping comments can unfairly ruin a doctor's reputation, Segal said.

For a fee, Segal's company, Medical Justice, provides doctors with a standardized waiver agreement. Patients who sign agree not to post online comments about the doctor, "his expertise and/or treatment."

Article continues at:

Doctors Fight Back Against Internet Critics

Rate your doctor on these websites.

http://www.angieslist.com/Angieslist/

http://www.yelp.com/

California schedule

2009-03-01T21:43:00.003-06:00

I am in California again.

This weekend I interviewed two people:

Barbara Herrera, San Diego ( at www.navelgazingmidwife.squarespace.co) and Stephanie Dawn iN LA area (www.stephaniedawn.com). Barbara is a midwife, photographer and writer, and a very well-spoken, thoughtful advocate for babies. Unfortunately, Dr. Wonderful, a wonderful obstetrician in San Diego was ill and unavailable.

Stephanie does her Sacred Birth Workshops in Los Angeles, San Francisco, and New York City, Childbirth preparation for the heart, mind, and spirit,

CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION

Tomorrow I will interviewing Marcy Axness, PhD., www.quantuumparenting.com.

QUANTUM PARENTING, which brings together the latest scientific research with ancient spiritual wisdom…

A leading-edge source of parenting resources for mothers and fathers wanting to most effectively support the unfolding mind, body and soul of their children…

Then we travel to Nevada City, CA where I will be visiting David and Donna Chamberlain and BEPE (Birth and Early Parenting Educators). www.BEPE.info.

An overdue update

2009-02-24T14:40:00.006-06:00

I received an inquiry today about where the film is -- someone who recently donated on 2/10/09:

Hi,

I paid for my "donation" copy of the other side of the glass add on to the trailer. When will I receive my copy? Please contact me promptly! Paypal completed on 2/10/09 and I haven't heard a word. Wonder if I can reverse it?

I am glad I got that this week and not last week.

I am in the midst of a last minute scramble to finish up what I can here in Phoenix as I am leaving Friday for a grueling 3 day trip (1200 miles and 3-4 interviews) to finish up filming. I will arrive in northern CA to work with my editing teacher on Monday after a long trip and interviews.

This note was a good reason to stop and take time to update visitors and followers of the film about my progress. It's been on my "to-do" list.

I am experiencing a computer challenge as I prepare to meet with my editing teacher in what was to be "polishing" of Part One. It will not be as ready as I planned. However, as is the nature of this amazing film that has a life of it's own, amazing things have emerged, much like it did in September in my trip to the east coast.

But the good news is plentiful: Part one finally has a name, His Moment ... of Awe. I recently completed the DVD label and cover design knowing it will be adjusted as the film itself completes. I also connected with the person who is, as we speak, doing original music for this part. A major birth photographer is lending her photos. Everything takes a lot of time. Someone in Italy emailed me about translating the trailer. I spent three days on transcribing it in detail -- finally, crossing that off the list. I have someone to do Portuguese and Spanish and looking for French. All of these people are donating their piece to this part one. It is such a blessing. I intend for sales of Part One to fund paying them to finish their part in the completion of the film (two other parts).

For those of you who are waiting so patiently, some of you since you donated in September and October, I wish to thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for your patience and support. I have tried to keep you updated via email but have not done such a good job here.

Last week I sort of hit a wall ... I was (and am) so tired as I continue to do this as a one-woman team. Actually, as I learned to do in Trance Dance (check it out!) I danced along the proverbial "brick wall" examining and experiencing it. I have been aware since September's visit in SC with unassisted couples, that I am doing this film as if I were birthing my "baby" unassisted. It is also, above all else, a film to honor my grandson, Andrew; my daughter, Erin; my son-in-law, Osama, and my older grandson, Adam. They are the hospital birth family. I am the Grandma. My younger daughter, with me on this production, was the videographer.

I have much support -- emotional, spiritual, and physical -- from around the world, but only these donations are the financial support. I had an internal tantrum, threatening to just quit, knowing that I can't, knowing I was just being like my three-year old grandson, Andrew, where I am living in Phoenix. I am just showing my frustration, independence, exhaustion, and determination. I am blessed and grateful for the opportunity to do this film as I am in awe of the message that has emerged and how important it is.

But seriously, honestly, I have been frustrated with the lack of financial resources and the obstacles. And, while 99% of the time I am in awe of my accomplishment and the spiritual journey in this process, I am always in need of financial assistance. Aren't we all? The trailer was to be fundraiser trailer; to procure big funding, to hire experts and professionals, but I found that I was to do the work. Like an UC birther. So, since it's my baby, I am not sure how to ask for support for this film, except through offering a copy of the completed Part one when it is done. Like a homebirth/UC mother I know it is my baby and I need support, education, resources, and those who are more qualified than me to help. Me, personally, I don't want to borrow and owe people, and I want the energy of the film and funding to be reciprocal. Hence, the donation now, in exchange for the "First Edition, Fundraiser Edition" that I fantasize becomes a "collector item."

I have big expenses coming up -- paying my editing colleague for assistance with the editing ($500), travel to DC in March ($500) and professional burning of the final product in late March or early April ($500). This is what sent me into a "little tizzy tantrum" with God, the universe, Whoever. I don't know where the money will come from and this is nothing new, but I am at the end of the birth, in transition, where the great amount of energy is needed to birth this amazing baby. I am tired. And, the journey makes me so grateful. I bought myself a new $6 bra and a pair of $20 pants last week -- my first in two years. Everything goes to my daughter and to the film.

I have been blessed with "in-kind" donations to make this film happen. One year, rent-free, in a wonderful duplex in MO, "home" while I zig zagged across the country for six months, and while I spent six months working 50 hours a week, learning the editing software and editing programs for community access television station. My ten-year old grandson sat with me last night watching me transcribe video (I let him listen to Sarah Buckley in reverse and had him convinced that I was translating from a foreign language!) and he asked, "Granny, who pays you your pay check?" I answered, "I don't get a pay check.... but people are donating money so they can get a copy of the film, and later, a lot of people will be buying the film."

Beyond the financial situation and the yearning to get back to working with babies and families, is the passion to just get this information out to the public -- the wonder at how amazing the information is, how it can contribute to transforming birth in our society and to transforming humanity. Being in my grandson's presence (and his brother's, Andrew, in the film) I am blessed.

Baby Andrew is an amazing soul who came to give us this information. Sometimes he and I just gaze into each other's eyes and I melt into the universe in a moment of bliss. I had one of the moments in the car taking him to his other grandma's house. We were making eye contact in the rear view mirror. The music on the radio, which ironically, I can't even recall, heightened "the moment of awe" (hint, hint) with him and I was transported in a moment of bliss. I cried. The film is for Andrew ... and all of our babies.

Sooooo, a musical fundraiser planned in MO isn't happening this month. Rather than be in a tizzy, last week I started to develop a format to do a "Fundraising Party" based on my producer-friend's "how to" book, but I just don't have time to add that job to my current work load -- of finishing (birthing) Part One. I am still working totally alone. If someone would like to take on that role, to set up a format, contact people, network on Facebook, I could help and hand it over. I wanted to ask people to have a little party in their community and show the trailer and take donations for a first edition, fundraiser edition of Part One.

Part One is really designed for doulas, childbirth educators, midwives, and women to give to their men, and other than child support and "in-kind donations, is my only resource for funding my living expenses while I complete the rest of the film. This fundraiser edition will include the Intro (expanded trailer) and Part One: His Moment ... of Awe. Part Two is not yet named but looks at men's experience of transformation when they have experienced a powerful woman who trusts and knows her body works ... and births powerfully. Part Three will get into the world of pre and perinatal psychology, the wounding of men since their own birth, the healing of birth experiences, and impact of empowered birth on humanity.

So, taking this time and opportunity to update folks, I want to ask for your financial support by donating at least $15 in exchange for a first edition fundraiser edition copy of Part One, and to consider showing the trailer at a house party and collecting other donations. If someone one wants to create and manage fundraising, please let me know.

Also on my wish list is an RV as I plan to travel to do extensive interviews of the OB's in Part One, amazing people doing science-based, mother-baby focused obstetrics for the next project.

So, here's my response to the note:

Dear ______,

The film is in production, as is indicated in the blog.

I am doing this film as a one-woman team. I am still filming .. completing filming for Part One this weekend as I travel from Phoenix to San Diego to Los Angeles, and then to Nevada City, CA with the plans to finish Part one, then travel to Washington DC in a car with 200,800 miles on it to screen it to a group, to film a birth for part one, and to then wrap it up and get it professionally burned. I travel in prayer, I tell you. I am doing every single bit of it -- including thank you's for donations, which I had not yet gotten done for you. THANK YOU.

People who donated in October and beyond are also still waiting, and I am so appreciative of their interest, support, and patience. I don't think people realize how precious and important that $15 is and how far it goes and what it means to me and the film. I am often waiting, as I was this week, for child support to come in to do this next leg of the trip. I do not have credit cards and this film, unlike many, will be done without "debt". This months allocation (child support) will not get me to DC, and I have no idea at this moment how I will pay for the trip to DC. I am leaving Phoenix where I have been living with my daughter and family (grandson!) having given up my home a year ago -- to do this film. It is a place where I can work on very tedious aspects of the film. I have been traveling off and on for over a year now .... with a 15 year old, a dog and a cat ..

This film is an act and labor of love -- baby Andrew is my grandson and Erin is my daughter. The donations are the only funding I have other than child support and acts of kindness -- lodging, meals, etc. I feel I am in late stage and transitional labor. I hope you can appreciate the process and bear with me ... I am laboring heavily now and birthing this baby very soon. Like every birth, this film has it's own timing and process. Like a woman in labor, all I can do it go with the present contraction.

I appreciate your support more than words can say.

L. Janel Martin Miranda, M.A.BabyKeeper Baby Doula/CranioSacral based Birth Trauma and Attachment Therapist/Birth Videographer
573-424-0997
www.theothersideoftheglassthefilm.blogspot.com

High Tech Procedures during BABY's labor and birth

2009-02-15T13:13:00.002-06:00

Back to basics for safer childbirth

Too many doctors and hospitals are overusing high-tech procedures

In fact, the current style of maternity care is so procedure-intensive that 6 of the 15 most common hospital procedures used in the entire U.S. are related to childbirth. Although most childbearing women in this country are healthy and at low risk for childbirth complications, national surveys reveal that essentially all women who give birth in U.S. hospitals have high rates of use of complex interventions, with risks of adverse effects.

http://www.consumerreports.org/health/medical-conditions-treatments/pregnancy-childbirth/maternity-care/overview/maternity-care.htm

As usual, my question is .... what about the baby? WHAT about the BABY?!? When is the media going to ask about the impact to the BABY when speaking of "adverse effects?" We call it BIRTH TRAUMA. The baby's brain is WORKING, interpreting the environment and experience and IMPRINTING the brain, remembering it all.

I'm baaaaack ... Online

2009-02-12T13:15:00.013-06:00

And, I wanted to let you know why the blogs were down for awhile.

I had to take my blogs down because I had an attacker of my work. That was ok, because when people disagree with me, I embrace it as an opportunity to learn. I try to find common ground, find a common goal. But it was not ok to troll my blogs for addresses of others to whom to send very disparaging information.

This person was charging me with "promoting the abuse of newborns" and sent the information far and wide, including to state officials in Missouri.

Yeah, me. Me, accused of "promoting the abuse of newborns." Me, who annoys people with my mantra "What about the baby?" every time they forget to mention the baby's experience when talking about how traumatic birth was for the mother. People AVOID me because they don't want to hear it me going on and on and on and on .. and on ... about the baby, the film, the interviews that tell the story of how it is that babies are harmed by standard medical practices.

My family, friends, and colleagues all TOLERATE me. Since we are on the road again, my poor fifteen year old never gets away from it -- her Christmas gift iPod with EAR PHONES (is that what they are called these days) was her reward and salvation. (She also gets to meet a lot of cool people, some well-known in my field and some actors while were in Topanga - as friends of friends, I can't reveal who, and she gets to see the country, play on the beach, hike the mountains, and eat great food.) But, yeah, ME?!, he accuses me, turns me in to officials all over the country? ME, who is making a film to bring attention to the abuse of the newborn, in a way that addresses all the aspects of society and medicine that leads to the abuse of newborns, I am accused of "promoting the abuse of newborns." Say whaaaaaaaat?.... ME too, I was also "shocked and surprised," like that cartoon character whose eyes pop out and head shakes so hard - in disbelief- that his cheeks and mouth shake making that funny sound. Remember him?

It was so far off, so left-field, so untrue I was able to see through it and glean some gold for myself and the film.

This is the rather kind note (relative to the info he wrote to officials about me, on the Youtube comments:

Janel, There is a huge flaw in your trailer.

You failed to mention that all 50 states MANDATE reporting of child abuse when child abuse is so much as SUSPECTED. You failed to mention to your target audience - fathers - that THEY can report. Failure to report mass child abuse helps to "normalize" mass child abuse, as in the transcript/excerpt below from your trailer for The Other Side of the Glass....

Haven't most of us adults at least learned to "Use 'I' Statements" when expressing ourselves? He goes on to list the narrative of folks in my film (whom he also attempted to contact and then to trash in mass mailings.

I agree with him: the actions of some caregivers, midwives and nurses, and doctors, are violent. It is abuse. So here's where we part company: This person demands that I, and you, everyone HOTLINE the medical caregivers and charge them with child abuse. Every one of us should hotline THEM. "Them" being the doctors, nurses, and midwives.

When I disagreed and refused to hotline the staff who abused the hospital born baby (in order to be honored with his interview), the attack on me was on. Unfortunately, he is too unstable and too unreasonable and, has a history of doing this to everyone in my professional field for years. He has been sued for slander and lost and the award has been collected. I spoke with the attorney who sued him on his own behalf.

I've been wanting to write more about the issue he raises because it is so important to get the message out there ... but I am so friggin' busy BECAUSE I am still a ONE-WOMAN production team. Ironically, I wanted to interview this person because of the "piece" of the puzzle he has that is so important, and is a topic in my film. The information he has amassed is important and I will post it soon when I have time to wade through the weeds and muck of his emails to pick the flowers.

Ironically, this fellow can't "sing with the choir", but instead blasts the people in the choir, who would be on his team -- from behind. Instead of seeing us as all working towards the same goal - stopping the abuse of laboring, birthing, and newborn babies - the dude is outraged at the rest of the choir. I can not "get a word in edgewise" as my mama says, to discuss the problem of a system that will NOT support hotlining caregivers for child abuse, even though I see it as abuse. He makes it a war, the choir become enemy troops, and if one is not willing to go into battle like a Black Ops, he blasts his own people, the ones who get what he says. With my son in both wars waged by this country for premptive reasons, and this guy at my back, I really don't like that term, "friendly fire." It still wounds and kills.

I agree with his belief that they abuse babies, but I do believe it is unknowingly most often. The behavior, verbalizations, and attitude of the nurse in the trailer are shocking to everyone; however, consider this: she KNEW she was being videotaped. !?!?!? But, still whether they are aware or not, whether it is deliberate or not, I agree that the experience of the baby is one of being abused and violated.

BUT, I part ways with this person on the issue of hotlining nurses and doctors and midwives for several reasons:

1) because that system is profoundly broken, and I would go so far as to say it is a PRODUCT or RECIPIENT of the poor, intrusive, violating maternal health care system. The child protective system and myriad of services and professionals in that field are just some of the many on the "food chain" I call it, of socially sanctioned beneficiaries of violent birth.

We have in mass, condoned and allowed this. I agree with him on that. WHY and how to get out of it IS the last part of my film. My film has four parts: the intro (trailer) and the upcoming piece, "The Moment ... of Awe" for fathers, followed by a very powerful look at the transformation of men by experiencing his partner's empowered birth, and then finally, the healing and transformation of the medical system lead by men.

2) I disagree with this fellow that we must, every one of us, hotline every doctor or nurse who attends birth where the woman is not upright, where the cord is clamped, and where drugs are used. The issue of maternal and informed choice is a huge issue here. It is not as simple as saying the doctors should not do these things because it is not scientific, and that they are committing abuse if they do those things. It is not as simple as saying a woman is guilty of abuse if she chooses epidural which forces her to birth supine under the influence of narcotics and opiods. These are socially acceptable as "standard medical practices".

Because these important "pieces" addressing these systemic issues are not in place, and arenot widely accepted as not good practice, wrong, or leading to abuse of the newborn, we can not address it with hotlining people. The pieces include engaging, educating, and supporting the people IN THE MEDICAL and MIDWIFERY systems who are doing birth right.

The only outcome of hotlining the nurse in the film would be more chaos for the family BECAUSE there is NO social consciousness to see the doctor's actions of prying the mother's hands off her baby after prematurely "amputating" the baby's cord and "robbing him of his cord blood", which I believe to be true. There is not a social consciousness or a legal system in place to address the nurse using the baby as a "teaching tool" and to see her behavior as violent and abusive, but I believe it is. If I thought it would do something to support the baby and the family, and to STOP that nurse from ever touching one more baby, yeah, I'd be the first one to hotline her, the doctor, the hospital, the risk management people who dictate to the caregivers what they have to do. RIGHT NOW, there is NOTHING in place in the system to look at their behavior should they be hotlined. There is no social or political will to look at the impact of standard medical practices on the laboring, birthing, and newborn being.

Physicians and nurses practice what they are taught, they are peer-reviewed, and their oversight is by hospital risk managers, health and liability insurance companies. Some resist and overcome that training and rise up to do what is right for mothers and babies inspite of the ostracization by peers and high risk premiums. They are our resources and they deserve to also be supported and protected, not lumped in with all of those who do not practice consciously. These are doctors and midwives who encourage women NOT to induce, NOT to use narcotic, NOT to do elective cesarean, to BE upright, to touch her baby and bring her baby to her chest. They are doctors who advocate and intervene with nurses whose just itch to get that baby away to do the measurements and whatever they think is more important than baby in mother's arms. There are nurses who intervene for the woman and baby with physicians who have agenda to manage their schedules. It's a complicated, human, organic system.

I know some caregivers are very ingrained in their training to the point of mass child abuse, those who have, in their own fear and greed perpetuated the current system. Maybe they are just victims of their own training and routinely, every day, in every birth, harmed a baby but engaging the child protective system is not the answer. It might bring attention to the issue but the social and political will not support it. The reporter becomes the nut.

I've written a lot and asked a lot of questions about how we can support caregivers to become aware of the sentience of the human newborn AND process the impact of being aware of what they've done, thinking it was right. I'll say more about that in a minute. Most people are unaware of the real needs of the newborn and infant, and much of what I observe is negatively impactful on a baby.

ANYTIME we engage with a pregnant woman, a laboring or birthing woman and baby, or a newborn baby without calming our nervous system, without remembering this is a BABY, this couple's baby, without remembering that this baby is feeling, experiencing, remembering, imprinting the experience, well, it's a violation, plain and simple. The simple act of swearing in the presence of a pregnant woman, attending her baby's birth while stressed out or fearful, or with your own time needs as a priority, or after the birth saying mindless things to and in front of the baby (ie. "Oh, baby, you'll live."), or continually reaching in to check the temp of a baby or suction his nose (so you are DOING something), or even gently stimulating that baby is a violation of his space and body. So, in my humble opinion, no one is immune from being hotlined.

So, hotlining the caregiver for abuse, that is a result of training, ignorance, unconsciousnes, or maternal choice, is not the answer. THE SYSTEM is not set up for it. The only benefit I can imagine is that it would cause the current, ineffective child protective systems to collapse. But that would only happen effectively if two things happened. ONE, it would take a massive, organized effort across every state, and, as the fellow suggests, "a moratorium" on charging doctors with abuse, and TWO, it would have to be in orchestration with the wonderful doctors, nurses, and midwives and their groups who also believe it needs to stop so would be participants. There is much to do before that happens. Perhaps, it would take only one big profile case to make it happen. Think "Rosa Parks." But massive amounts of planning and support, and MEDIA, would have to be in place after an intense effort by many to create awareness and change. MASSES would have to be AWARE of the CONSCIOUSNESS of the BABY.

The big problem is, as I have written about here repeatedly, the masses are not aware AND there is NO STANDARDIZED SYSTEM OF MATERNAL-CHILD CARE in obstetric or midwifery care. I have often used the proverbial, "fox in charge of the hen house" to describe standard medical practices. In my film, a CNM who has practiced at home and in hospitals says, "Women and babies have been harmed by standard medical practices." This is not an indictment of doctors and nurses, and validation of midwives. It IS an indictment of hospital-focused birth, rather than mother-baby focused birth. It is a statement about how midwives are also practicing in ways that harm women and babies. It is a statement about the SYSTEM of maternal-child health care.

Midwives, fighting for their legal rights, are being forced down the same darned path that obstetrics have gone -- by the nose, lead by hospital and legal dictates. THIS has allowed a numbing and dumbing of our society so that most people no longer see the abusive part of what they see. People watch a stranger holding down their flailing, screaming, fighting-for-his-life baby, and they smile and coo. They are numb. They no longer are in their body. They are observing the violation of a baby and unable to act. They don't protect their own baby. This baby's space, his boundaries are being profoundly violated, impacting his way of being in the world, with people, for the rest of his life. And, they smile and coo ... at the beauty of birth and new life. Yeah, yeah.

Midwives are less likely to do this, but increasingly more likely to do unnecessary, violating interventions because now she also has to protect her ASSets. As Dr. Stuart Fischbein says in his interview for my film, the only way to change this is TORT REFORM that addresses all the parties involved -- hospital risk management, liability insurance companies, health insurance companies who all DICTATE to doctors AND midwives AND nurses how they must practice.

So, I AM DOING MY PART OF THE PICTURE or PUZZLE ... I am working very hard, a one-woman production team, a year on the road now, to make a film that will awaken the hearts and minds of the broad spectrum of people involved in birth -- EVERYONE. Men, women, caregivers of all varieties ... with the hope that they will see birth as the BABY's, as the soul/baby's journey into physical form. Once anyone gets that -- that EVERY THING you feel, think, say, and do in the presence of a pregnant, laboring, birthing woman is imprinting her baby's brain and soul, one can not do what they have done with such harsh, unaware and unconscious treatment. Once the MASSES get that we will look at maternal-child health care system differently: Preserving the mother-baby connection will be a guiding principle in all we do.

We need tort reform that ALLOWS us to insist upon a SYSTEM of STANDARDIZED CARE based on EVIDENCE-BASED SCIENCE, with a system in place that allows us to have someone other than the hospital systems, ACOG, and malpractice insurance "overseeing" the care our babies' receive.

MY PIECE of the puzzle is support MEN, fathers, who have been harmed by the standard medical practices, and fathers-to-be, to take their rightful place in the birth of their baby ... and to create a movement, a shift of thinking, to see that the human being is fully aware, fully feeling, experiencing, interacting, and imprinting whatever is happening to him or her WHEREVER he or she is born. For example, cutting the cord before the MOTHER's body releases the baby's resuscitator, the placenta, "allowing" fathers to prematurely separate the baby from her body, suctioning on the perineum, or at all "for meconium risk", stimulating the baby with rough towels or strange hands, hats, chattering voices, taking temperatures ALL BEFORE BABY AND MOTHER make eye contact or disrupting that, and before FATHER has engaged with the baby and mother IN THEIR WAY ... these are all violations of the mother-baby RE-CONNECTION in the first moments of birth.

How could I call the hotline on every single birth I have seen, experienced, or known about for disrupting the mother-baby connection, or how could I hotline the hospital for policies and rules, sanctioned by risk managers, policy makers, insurance companies that dictate to the nurse and doctor that they do "everything they know to do in case"? How could I, or any Doula or family member, hotline the doctor or nurse for following the wishes of the mother and father, or a woman who decides she does need to use epidural because she's been in labor for 20 hours and she is exhausted? We can't shoot everyone and ask questions later and let a governmental system "figure it" and provide for the family ... we see how that does NOT WORK.

I need all of you out there to get it ... the needs of the BABY in relationship to his or her mama and daddy ... that we all participated in the perpetuation of the system as it is ... that we can change it by creating a maternal-child, maternity health care system based on the evidence, with an oversight that is NOT peer, with laws that force health insurance and liability insurance to do what is right.

NOW, back to editing the film for fathers, the fundraiser edition, called, "The Moment ... of Awe." It will be ready by the end of March ... I swear. I have a professional editor scheduled for the first week of March to "put the magical fairy dust on it".

Documentary Filmmaker needs pics related to circumcision

2009-02-10T11:54:00.001-06:00

James Loewen is looking for high resolution images to include in a video documentary of our intactivist history.

Seeking images from the first NOCIRC Symposium, photos of Marilyn Milos circa 1980-90 and high resolution scans of newspaper headlines and articles of circumcision related topics.

Please send high resolution images (300 dpi 4x6" size or greater) and any pertinent information to James' email: Intactivist<>shaw.ca
Or to Gloria Lemay birthuniserve. com

Prenatal Human Rights

2009-01-09T21:59:00.000-06:00

"Prenatal" Hope for Implementing Human Rights

PRESS RELEASE

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE – 4 - 5 September 2008

NEW “PRENATAL” HOPE FOR IMPLEMENTING HUMAN RIGHTS ANNOUNCED AT 60TH BIRTHDAY ELEBRATION OF UNIVERSAL DECLARATION OF HUMAN RIGHTS IN PARIS THIS WEEK

“Natural Prenatal Education as a foundation for Human Rights” is being proposed as a new and highly effective means for attaining the goals of peace, security, freedom, health and well being for every individual as required by the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

At the 60th birthday celebration in Paris this week civil society, nongovernmental organisation’s and governments are being urged to take into consideration the latest scientific discoveries which bring powerful solutions to the immense challenges facing humanity.

The Organisation Mondiale des Associations pour l’Education Prénatale, OMAEP which groups 17 national associations and enjoys consultative status with the Economic and Social Council of the United Nations, is bringing its new ideas to the round table work groups at the annual NGO congress at the
UNESCO Headquarters 2 - 5 September.

OMAEP insists that, “over the last thirty years we have witnessed immense changes in our societies including in our understanding of the human being.

Modern science confirms that the fundamental bases for human rights begin even before birth. “From the moment of conception, the experience in the womb shapes the
brain and lays the groundwork for personality, emotional temperament and the power of higher thought.” says pioneering expert Dr. Thomas Verny a Canadian psychiatrist in his revolutionary book, The Secret Life of the Unborn Child published more than a quarter of a century ago.

The NGO is calling for all sectors of society to inform and support those wishing to have children to meet the real physical, emotional and developmental needs of their offspring during the crucial period of development spent in the womb. This, they say, will assure that each human being will be given the best possible chances to live the human rights they
are entitled to as laid down in the Universal Declaration.

Any organisation or person who wishes further information please contact OMAEP (for a FREE DVD) or more information: Pilar Vizcaino email: info@anep.org.es or the English speaking representative: Julie Gerland
email: juliegerland@wanadoo.fr

OMAEP encourages journalists to contact the representatives in Paris this week for interviews: Vice-President of OMAEP Pilar Vizcaino on +34 67 64 29 844 (French/Spanish) Dr. Aurore Pernin on +33 (0) 683 43 99 42 (French)
or the English speaking representative Julie Gerland +33 (0) 607 91 66 42

Circumcision Information

2009-01-09T21:58:00.001-06:00

Circumcision Information

"Despite the obviously irrational cruelty of circumcision, the profit incentive in American medical practice is unlikely to allow science or human rights principles to interrupt the highly lucrative American circumcision industry. It is now time for European medical associations loudly to condemn the North American medical community for participating in and profiting from what is by any standard a senseless and barbaric sexual mutilation of innocent children."
--

Fleiss PM. MD, MPH.
Circumcision. Lancet 1995;345:927 [1]

"Custom will reconcile people to any atrocity."
--George Bernard Shaw

"What is done to children, they will do to society."
--Karl Menninger, MD

Male Circumcision in the USA: A Human Primer
by Rich Winkel
rich@math.missouri.edu
12 May 2005

Answers from the Bible to Questions about Circumcision

Extensive page of circumcision Links at Compleat Mother Magazine

"Armed with this new information, the anti-circers go so far as to argue that male circumcision is equally as horrendous as female circumcision, even when it involves a clitorectomy. To them, removing the foreskin is as bad as removing the clitoris. While neither of these genital areas is essential to sex (a woman without a clitoris can reach orgasm, just as a circumcised man can), both certainly enhance and facilitate it. Female circumcision has been banned by federal law since 1996, but the male variety is still legal. 'No part of a female’s genitalia may be cut off for or cultural reasons, but you can freely lop off 50 percent of a boy’s shaft skin,' Tim Hammond of NOHARMM says angrily."
from The Foreskin Saga at www.infocirc.org/GQ0200.htm.

NO Circ (National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers)
What you need to know...

No national or international medical association recommends routine circumcision.

Only the USA circumcises the majority of newborn boys without medical or religious reason.

Medicalized circumcision began during the 1800s to prevent masturbation, which was believed to cause disease.

Today's parents are learning that the foreskin is a normal, protective, functioning organ.

Today's parents realize circumcision harms and has unneccesary risks.

Circumcision denies a male's right to genital integrity and choice for his own body.

HEALING CIRCUMCISION for ADULTS
There are many sites on web that discuss the process of "foreskin restoration" but very little information about how to heal the psyche of the primal wound.

The Castellino Prenatal and Birth therapy modality addresses the circumcision wound and trainees in his program may provide healing for the emotional, psychological, and relationship issues.

I am looking for other resources. If you know of techniques and modalities, please email me. babykeeper@gmail.com.

Scotland Urges Homebirth

2009-01-03T12:17:00.000-06:00

Pregnant women are urged to give birth in their own homes - MOTHERS-to-be are to be encouraged to stay away from hospital in an effort to more than double the number of home births in the Lothians.

Scotland Pregnant Women Are Encouraged to Give Birth At Home

Birth is Human Rights Issue

2008-12-10T13:04:00.004-06:00

See "Prenatal" Hope for Implementing Human Rights below.

I am a member of WITNESS (http://www.witness.org/, see YouTube above).

For 15 years, WITNESS has harnessed the power of video to advance human rights. In honor of the 60th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights on December 10th, we've put together a short video with different WITNESS staff talking about images that opened their eyes to human rights abuses around the world.

I believe the worst humanity violation, the root violation, is the lack of regard for the sanctity of conception through gestation that creates a lack of care and support for pregnant women** and that allows the medical establishment's routine disruption of the mother-baby dyad and the disempowerment of the father to protect them. Women violated at conception, during pregnancy, and during birth; separation and physically violating a newborn; not breastfeeding; and mutilation of newborn boys (circumcision) creates humans capable of horrible treatment of others.

I fear that Even Witness sees the horrors of human right violations of children and adults around the world worse than the violence of a newborn. But, as I see it, the primal period of the human being has been, for eons, the time in which the brain is programmed for violence, scarcity, fear, control, separation, isolation. It's horrifying to see the atrocities in Brazil, Africa, and Iraq ... to see men, women, and children enslaved, beaten, starved, and in captivity. It appears worse than the business of incarceration (caging humans for bad behavior), homelessness in America, child abuse, neglect, and abandonment to the systems who harm regardless of intentions, and passively accepting pre-emptive war upon innocent people. Americans think female genital mutilation in Africa and Muslim is horrific and yet do it their male children. Americans abhor slavery now, but perpepuate racism ... and are oblivious to those in control of the government, banking, and commerce who "enslave" Americans numb to the plight of the world ... to the atrocities seen in the Witness YouTube, as well as the plight of their fellow American and their neighbor or family member.

America has most of the resources of the world with only 5% of the population and has a government control by special interests, the worst of which might be the Big Phar drug cartel. America leads the way in misuse of technology and the medical management of birth, and then reaps the reward of the worst in maternal and infant mortality rates of industrialized nations --- money and control.

America spreads it's values to these other countries via building up of industry and medical care. When McDonalds, Walmart, and obstetric medicine come to the rescue of other countries the people of these countries do not become more free. Obstetrics, typically a technologically souless endeavor, may raise civility and mortality rates, but it further compounds the violation of human beings. Obstetric medicine is the place of manufacturing damaged human beings who will rely upon the system (consumerism, workism) for their lifetime. The medical food chain of services and specialties will benefit and foster their supportive limbs -- social programs, education, and psychological services, with NONE of them looking at what happened to the baby, mother, and father in the PRIMAL, formative period of development.

Without ever looking at or dealing with the root cause of human disorders, the mainstream approach to dealing with dyfunctions and disorders will be bandaids at best and will perpetuate ongoing issues.Here is a perfect example to ponder. Without research to ever show it was safe, medicine has routinely immediately cut the cord of the human newborn. It is clear now that the baby needs the full volume of his blood that remained in the placenta during the normal cycle of blood flow from him to placenta. At the moment of birth as much as half of the baby's blood is still in the placenta. The impact of this is enormous.

WHAT is the lifetime consequence of not getting your core blood? Of not having enough oxygen to stimulate and complete the core process of breathing and to support the heart to transition from fetal to "adult" circulation? NO ONE looks at this to do research. No one in authority wants to know or wants to change. Has it, for example, been thought of or studied to link this moment at birth with cardiology issues in adults? What is the number one killer of men AND women? Not cancer; it is heart disease.

Is there a connection to heart disease in later life and the experience of the heart having to work with half the baby's blood (oxgyen deprived) so that caregivers must then harshly, often violently, "stimulate" the baby to breath? Does shock, resistance, premature separation from mother and blood AT THE VERY MOMENT that the heart is closing off one artery and transitioning to a new function impact the heart physiologically, and the baby psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually? We don't know, because medicine refuses to see the baby as fully functioning and capable of being harmed by their "interventions".

** Stress and working too much are seen as problems associated with premature births. Breastmilk, the excilir for life; and holding, nurturing care by the mother for the first two years of life are LONG known in the literature to be THE foundation for neurologically as well as emotionally and physically functioning human being. Yet, rather than fund support of this period of time as a valuable asset for our country and humanity, the US perpetuates "work" to build corporations and promote consumerism as the "foundation" for a healhy person, and the "standard" of succes, and does not provide time off for motherhood and fatherhood ... the United States of American, with all it's wealth, does not allow men and women to do the most important job on the planet, to care for their child. Holding down one or more jobs in order to provide the basic "American Dream" life is more revered as "successful", regardless of the cost to the family and the planet ecology, than is mothering or parenting.

Rich posts about HIV circumcision research

2008-12-03T15:12:00.003-06:00

I (Rich) posted a response to:

https://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=circumcision-and-aids

Aside from the methodological pitfalls involved in using a pool ofmen who desire to be circumcised (selecting for pre-existing sexual dysfunction), what's missing from this half-truth is the questionof circumcision's impact on male->female HIV transmission. There are numerous studies bearing on this issue, quite aside from theobvious epidemiological comparison to be made between the USA and Europe, which in itself raises serious doubts about circumcision'sutility in controlling HIV. One need only recognize that circumcisionincreases friction during coitus due to the loss of the frictionless sleeve of the foreskin and the drying out of residual male erotogenic mucosal tissue. In the absence of such friction the female's intact mucosa would be expected to provide a strong barrier to HIV receptivity

http://jvi.asm.org/cgi/content/full/74/12/5577?view=long&pmid=10823865
as borne out by empirical findings

http://www.cirp.org/library/disease/HIV/chao/http://www.circumstitions.com/HIV.html#heteroFurthermore, unanticipated consequences of circumcision, such aschanges in sexual practices and promiscuity of sexually amputatedmen may outweigh any benefits in per-intercourse female->male HIV transmission rates.

Finally, I note the deafening silence regarding Rebecca Stallings's findings as reported to the Rio conference on HIV in 2005, which founda similar prophylactic effect for FGM on female HIV receptivity.

http://www.tzonline.org/pdf/femalecircumcisionandHIVinfectionintanzania.pdf

It's tempting to speculate on the origins this unscientific propaganda onslaught given the current medico-legal situation in the United States. One can only hope that whatever the ultimate outcome of this debate, itwill not be used as a post-hoc justification for the wholesale atrocity which has been committed against non-consenting American infants.

What babies and the world seem to know

2008-11-01T13:58:00.015-05:00

IF THE WORLD COULD VOTE
Check out this voting on-line set up by a 22 year old fellow from overseas. By a landslide, the entire world wants Obama, or at least "The Change" he promises.

If the world could vote?

Posted using ShareThis

Soon, maybe, we can all stop this "baby crying" * (see below for definition) we are all feeling.

I have refrained from political topics here related to the upcoming election, but I received an email I
couldn't resist ... the political candidates with babies and passed it along. I know babies to be the wisest of us, the most aware we'll ever be. We need to pay attention to what our babies pay attention to.

I got this back from a relative: being republican or democrat or narrow minded has nothing to do with it. stupid emails like this is what takes something away from real issues in politics. ... how many babies has obama held that cried. exactly...and who cares. i am sure on some level babies can sense evil...whatever. it is just too bad that is not how we choose our leaders in America.a little biased don't you think? what is it, like 10 pics to 1 for each of bush and mccain. pretty good depiction on how the mainstream has been holding 'Obama Biden laden' so high.

Oye, so much I could say, but I won't. Babies are my story, and I am stickin' to it. I totally disagree that the reactions of babies, children, and our youth have nothing to do with it. So, I googled both candidates to check it out, as I always do. I found a slide show of Obama, McCain, and Biden. We are a nation in trouble, and one of the reasons is that this society does not honor birth as sacred, does not honor the baby, and does not see how the human baby is fully aware and feeling. When we value and honor our babies and realize how much we can learn FROM them, we will create an entirely different values systems.

I remember the ONLY candidate I have ever wanted for President ever was NJ Senator Bill Bradley. I was campaigning for him in 1996 when he wasn't running. In 1997 I read his memoir, "Present Time, Time Past." My then three year old daughter had looked at the picture of him on the cover of his book with awe, pointed to his picture and smiled adoringly at him, peering into his eyes saying, "Ahhhhh," and she hugged the book to her chest. I felt the same way. I felt I could trust my inner judgement more because of her response. Children are not yet indoctrinated, they are sensory, and real and honest. By the way, I've never gotten over him losing to Gore in the Iowa Caucus for the 2000 election. He is the only Presidential candidate for whom I would post a bumper sticker. I try to not live in the past but I often wonder, "What if ..."

So, with my regard for babies - the new soul that has just arrived and as aware and wise as will ever be - I see the babies, children, and youth of America as our future and as "the Deciders". The youth of America are more involved than I ever remember. They need so much hope right now. As I approach being really old I remind myself to value the youth and their opinions and energy. They will be living with the decisions we make long after my parents are gone, long after I and many of us are gone. I do what I do today for my grandsons and their children. That's makes me sound over fifty, doesn't it?

So these pictures interested me. I love these pictures ... not at all because they are of Obama, but because they are of babies and children responding and engaging with him, whoever he is.

I really believe you can discern a lot about a person by how they engage with babies and children. Too often the adult, especially strangers, are just trying to elicit some response from the baby -- usually to satisfy an unconscious need of their own.

Watch people with babies with a new eye, watch yourself when you engage with a baby -- why do you engage with a baby? Do you need them to respond? Do you need them to laugh to make you feel better? Do you ask permission or wait for the baby to come to you or the parents to hand to you the baby? Or do you just pick up babies, touch babies, put your face too close to babies -- even as they resist? Do you insist on holding someone's baby (ignore their behavioral cues) even if the baby is resisting? Hunkering into the mom or dad (saying, "no")? Is the baby looking away from you? Avoiding your face and your eyes? Reaching away from you? Squirming? Are you ok that the baby is not interested in you? Or are you content only when the baby gives you a positive response? Do you perceive and are you ok that the baby or child doesn't seem to like you? Or your "energy"? Do you stop to wonder have I invaded the baby's space? Do you stop and see the baby's body language as communicating to you? "Please don't touch my body." "You are too close." "I don't want to play or smile right now." "I don't know you." Do you or do you see others holding a baby, their baby, but especially other's babies and talking over the baby, not engaging the baby?

Yes, you can tell a lot about a person by how they engage with babies and how they respond to them. And, a baby will not pretend to like you and will not care about letting you know you've overstepped your boundaries. Babies are perfect mirrors -- if we look. The problem is that adults are so overpowering, so out of touch with babies, and are disrespectful of a baby's boundaries. When parents don't protect that boundary the baby is soon overwhelm and begins to learn that their boundaries are not respected. They learn defensive postures and beliefs that form another layer on to their foundation that they will carry into adulthood.

That was a mini lesson in infant behavior and so back to the pictures. Picture after picture of Obama shows him ENGAGING with the baby in his arms. In the pictures he is seeing the baby and the babies are searching his face, making eye contact, hugging, and smiling. Even when he is looking away the baby is trying to see his face and to engage with him. This is very rare for babies to engage so directly with a stranger, in a crowd. Children don't often sink into a deep hug with strangers. Babies often have difficulty with eye contact even with loved ones. These pictures show babies engaged with him in direct eye contact. Many, many "good pictures" of even parents and babies are with baby and adult not making eye contact, not engaging. I looked on line once for pictures of parent and baby engaged with eye contact and found very few.

I don't know if it means he is ready to lead the United States out of one of the worst situations we've been, but it tells me he must be a decent fellow. It tells in spite of all the stresses in his life right now he is aware and capable of engaging with a baby as a person.

I am counting on the young people who must live with the choices of the last decade and the politicians in charge (Democrat and Republican). I see that perhaps Obama really might engage with them, us, We, the People, and as I heard him speak at the Iowa Caucus in January, he has plans to engage people in democracy at every level. I used to be a community organizer; and he talked-the-talk. If he wins, or even if he doesn't, I hope our youth will step up and reclaim democracy he has inspired in many of them, and I hope they'll walk-the-walk and hold him to his claims. It might be in baby-steps, but our youth can get us there.

Many of these pictures are from:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/10/21/babies-for-obama-slidesho_n_136433.html

No comment on this last picture!
except to note that she holds like a breastfeeding mother holds a baby.

IF THE WORLD COULD VOTE
Check out this voting on-line set up by a 22 year old fellow from overseas. By a landslide, the entire world wants Obama, or at least "The Change" he promises.

If the world could vote?

Posted using ShareThis

** "Baby cries" was coined by my younger son as a young pre-teen first teasing his baby sister, and then in talking about whiny people. I found later in my pre and perinatal psychology studies that "baby cries" aptly describes how a an older child or adult person acts when their early memories and emotions are triggered. It's one of those situations where yourself, or another, is over-reacting to the present situation, and others are scratching their head, trying to figure it out, and are too often the focus or the blame of the other's emotional outburst. It is when there is no logical reason for this adult to be acting this way, and all that might be missing is the lying on the floor kicking. Something in the current environment has triggered an early prenatal memory in the Limbic system and the Neocortex is struggling to make sense of it.

Birth Abuse -- KORE Issues radio show

2008-10-25T00:03:00.006-05:00

Last month Rich Winkle and I were guests on KOPN 89.5 KORE Issues show. The topic of part one of the ongoing show was Birth Options (available in the archives.)

Tomorrow, October 25th, at 5:00 pm Central time we will be doing part 2, Birth Abuse - From Day One".

KOPN KORE Issues Tyree B. talks about things that people find difficult to talk about.

According to KORE Issues producer, Tyree, "We'll look at the ideology and mentality and what the processes in place are and what the parents can expect if problems arise and if the system in place causes the problems in the first place."

That's a lot to cover!

The show is live and you can stream it live at www.kopn.org. Tyree, partner Jesca, and mother Debra will open with live music. Their little one, born at home, will also be in the studio.

Tyree is sharing his original song, "Awe" that he sang for his daughter at her birth, to be used in the film.

Fathers-to-Be in Austin, Texas

2008-10-24T14:42:00.005-05:00

FATHERS-TO-BE

presents

Advanced Birth Professional Workshop

"Supporting Fathers Prenatally and Through Childbirth"

How birthcare professionals welcome fathers is significant to the whole family system.

Learn, in a dynamic study format, how to work more effectively with fathers in the antenatal and birth environment.

Outcomes:

· Increased confidence in working with men/fathers.

· Increased skills for welcoming fathers into the pregnancy and birth process.

· Understanding ways to support a man's "low adrenaline" presence at birth itself.

· Learn how to help fathers manage their expectations in a way that contributes most effectively to the families needs.

· Experience articulating 'gender issues' for yourself as well as parents and increase your ability to communicate.

Saturday November 15

1-4:30 PM

Ronald McDonald House

1315 Barbara Jordan Blvd, Austin, TX 78723

$75

Presented by Patrick Houser. Patrick has spent many years working in the field of pregnancy, birth and early parenthood. Now a grandfather, Patrick pioneered conscious birthing with his son's waterbirth in 1980, the first in the US. In 2006 he co-founded of Fathers-To-Be UK and works with expectant and new dads, birthcare professionals and educators. He is also the author of the new book, Fathers-To-Be Handbook.

A Fathers-To-Be Handbook will be included for all participants.

Reserve your place at www.centexbirthnetwork.org

512-691-9546 (3 DONA CEU, pending)

Paternal Instinct -- A movie review

2008-10-24T13:55:00.009-05:00

I just re-rented the documentary, "Paternal Instinct: The Road to Fatherhood is not always a straight one."

I watched it a year or so ago and it really touched me deeply. The birth of the two men's baby is one of the most beautiful, loving births I've ever seen. I am looking forward to seeing it again this weekend.

I love this movie for it's multiple messages. While my film has been questioned about, and is not about the different configurations of conceiving and parenting, I offer this film as one to show the beauty of birth in alternative partnerships. It is also a testament to the intentional welcoming of another soul into a couple's lives.

Heterosexual couples, adoption professionals, and everyone could benefit from watching this film to see:

1) The profound impact of ritual and seeing the soul as a being coming into a couple's lives.

Conception of their babies, in part because the surrogate mother is an Episcopalian minister, is done intentionally with ritual, as is the birth and, so importantly, the exchanging of the baby from her womb to their arms is done with ritual. If one can suspend one's beliefs about paganism, New Agism, or other critical beliefs, and observe something very profound for the baby -- the honoring of the baby who was gestated in one body but will be raised by another. The baby is seen as real, whole, aware, sentient being. The world of adoption support could benefit from watching this process and then going directly to the website of such adoption experts as Marcy Axness, PhD at Quantum Parenting. Dr. Axness "educates adoption, education, and childcare professionals on new findings in child development and their implications for practice."

2) How it is that a human being should be welcomed and wanted and conceived in love.
If this is not present that human being will struggle throughout the lifetime to feel wanted. So many heterosexually conceived humans are the result of thoughtless, random sex, manipulative agendas, and just plain apathy. Babies born to gay and lesbian couples are wanted beings.

3) The beauty of a homebirth with a midwife. Up until this point I was in awe and tears of joy watching these two men supporting the birthing woman and their baby, and then throes of it all, after the baby was born, the midwife SUCTIONED the baby. Harshly. "Noooooooo." I was crying out in disbelief, "WHY!?!" EVERY other aspect of this baby's birth was intentional, calm, loving, and peaceful. WHY do medically trained caregivers (midwives are medically trained) feel that they have to suction every baby "in case" and WHY do they do it so harshly, so fast, so deep??

You'll have to wait until my film comes out for that answer.

Here's what one reviewer said about "Paternal Instincts":

This movie takes the viewer on a journey through the initial discussions between Mark and Eric about whether and how to have children, to the long-awaited conclusion. In the process, we are treated to many glimpses of their loving and playful relationship, friendships, and loving, somewhat offbeat, relationships with their own parents. We also meet Wen, the chosen surrogate, and her family and community. This movie is extremely touching and surprisingly funny. The insemination scenes, for example, had the audience howling. It was a real treat to "meet" each person in this movie, including Wen's own (pre-adolescent?) son. If you get the chance to see this movie, it is the chance to witness a small gem.

Amazon.com
Paternal Instinct may not change the minds of those who oppose same-sex marriage and parenthood, but you'd have to have a cold, cold heart to remain unmoved by this poignant documentary. Originally broadcast on HBO, the film demonstrates, on deeply personal and emotional terms, that "the road to fatherhood is not always a straight one." It focuses on Erik and Mark, a gay couple for ten years, who decide to become parents through the surrogate motherhood of Wen, a happily married wife, mother, and practicing witch (or Wiccan, if you prefer).

Forming a devoted trio of compassionate cooperation, they struggle through an emotional roller-coaster ride including trial and error, miscarriage, self-doubts and setbacks, all leading to the birth of two daughters (one is biologically Erik's, the other Mark's) and the universal elation of new parenthood. By covering all three years in this heart-wrenching process, filmmaker Murray Nossel creates real-life drama that's more compelling as any fiction movie could ever be, and the circumstances--family support on all sides--make this a deeply effective argument for the validity of same-sex parenthood.

By presenting a "21st century twist" on the American family, Paternal Instinct avoids political rancor and goes straight to the heart of the matter: Once you've seen this film, it's impossible to believe that Erik, Mark, and their children could be anything but a blessing.

Considering the fact that many heterosexual couples are unfit for parenthood, a little Paternal Instinct seems like a very good thing indeed. --Jeff Shannon

Healing the Violence of Your Birth

2008-10-23T01:42:00.001-05:00

Featuring a course with Rebecca Marina.

"Healing the Violence of Your Birth"- Why you need it.

In this class, I share my heart with you about a very necessary healing that I believe every single person in the world can benefit from.

Unless you were born at home with the kind attentions of a loving family and possibly a mid-wife in attendance, chances are you are suffering the effects of patterns of energy set up around your "violent" birth.

Only $27 gets you BOTH classes- "Heal Birth Violence" and "Heal Childhood Abuse"
Order here: http://rebeccamarina.com/444

Contributing factors of a violent birth are being labor induced, pulled out with forceps,C-section, or even made to "hold back" the birth.

Other factors are: being born at the wrong time, illigetimate, unwanted, wrong sex, parents too young, parents worried about money, previous abortions or miscarriages, worries about inherited illness and many more. I am sure you can think of many issues on your own, perhaps from your personal experience.

It is almost a guarantee that at your birth you were thrust into a room filled with bright, florescent lighting, poked, prodded, stuck with needles, handled roughly, and taken from your mother before you had a chance to bond. It is also very likely that your cord was cut too soon, depriving you of the nutrient rich cord blood that doctors are now realizing is a very great treasure indeed.

A fear or shame pattern is sometimes set up when the birth is violent and can affect your life in many ways.

Here is a partial checklist of patterns that can be set up at birth. Check and see if you identify with any of these.

*Fear of dying- having trouble breathing under stress.
*Fear of living fully- what is the use, it will never be good enough.
*Fear of accepting pleasure in life- pleasure is always followed by pain
*A feeling of being "unimportant"
*Feeling invisible
*Wishing you were someone else.
*Not ever feeling good enough
*Having conscious or unconscious resentment toward your mother
*Having a sense of not belonging
*Feeling like you don't belong in your own family
*Feeling like it is the wrong time for you to be here
*A vague feeling of unease you can never quite put your finger on
*Feeling unworthy
*Having a hunger for something and you are not sure what it is
*Feelings of shame
*Feeling like you were cheated out of something
*Feeling like you have to please others in order to belong
*Feeling like it is you against the world
*Feelings of unexplained guilt
*Depression
*Accident prone
*A feeling of being unlovely

There are more issues but these are the main ones my angels have told me to share with you. This is a very special and healing class - a re-birthing and a re-mothering.

The Divine Feminine will be assisting as midwife to this precious healing experience.

This class will be healing your own birth trauma and healing your own mother and your ancestors as well. This class combines the best of energy psychology with spirituality to take healing beyond mere human capabilities.

Only $27 gets you BOTH classes- Heal Birth Violence and Heal Childhood Abuse
Order here: http://rebeccamarina.com/444

Spin Doctor

2008-10-22T11:07:00.009-05:00

It's just a bleep on the screen amidst the political fervor and financial crisis, but I saw a national news anchor, Brian Williams, say several weeks ago on the 6 pm news that the US has the worst infant mortality rates of any industrialized nation. He said it was in spite of the US having the best access to the best health care.

Above is another story on MSNBC and shortly after we have Washington and CDC reporting that the rates are down.

Who do we believe? When will the "crisis" of the day be the state of maternal health care and the obvious (death rates) and the ignored (birth trauma from non-necessary medical interventions)?

By GARDINER HARRIS
Published: October 15, 2008

WASHINGTON — Infant deaths in the United States declined 2 percent in 2006, government researchers reported Wednesday, but the rate still remains well above that of most other industrialized countries and is one of many indicators suggesting that Americans pay more but get less from their health care system.

Infant mortality has long been considered one of the most important indicators of the health of a nation and the quality of its medical system. In 1960, the United States ranked 12th lowest in the world, but by 2004, the latest year for which comparisons were issued by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, that ranking had dropped to 29th lowest.

This international gap has widened even though the United States devotes a far greater share of its national wealth to health care than other countries. In 2006, Americans spent $6,714 per capita on health — more than twice the average of other industrialized countries.

Some blame cultural issues like obesity and drug use. Others say that the nation’s decentralized health care system is failing, and some researchers point to troubling trends in preterm births and Caesarean deliveries.

Many agree, however, that the data are a major national concern. More than 28,000 infants under the age of 1 die each year in the United States.

“Infant mortality and our comparison with the rest of the world continue to be an embarrassment to the United States,” said Grace-Marie Turner, president of the Galen Institute, a conservative research organization. “How can we get better outcomes?”
The data, collected by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, indicate that the nation’s infant mortality rate has been static for years despite enormous advances in the care given to preterm infants. Two-thirds of the infant deaths are in preterm babies.

Continued at Infant deaths in the US declined 2% in 2006

Thoughts on Abortion

2008-10-20T12:27:00.005-05:00

My response to a post on the YouTube comment section:

These abuses are "normalized" because we kill 4,400 babies a day through a legal surgical procedure called abortion. A good amount of these doctors deliver a baby one day and then kill a baby then next in an abortion. How could we possibly expect them to have regard for life, let alone quality of ones life as it begins outside the womb. They are killing them in the womb. which is supposed to be the safest place on earth. Imagine how the millions of fathers whose babies have been killed feel.

I just spoke with a man whose baby was aborted against his wishes. It's horrible. Men's reactions will range from apathy to devastation. The problem as I see abortion is that it is so much bigger than is currently recognized by society. It is one either-or. It is multi-faceted and represents many dysfunctions of our collective.

Our society doesn't support the primal period of life, for baby or men and women, but bi-polarizes everything. Either we are are "FOR" or "AGAINST" something without regard for the diverse range of humanity, without regard for a simple spiritual truth: Every soul is responsible for it's choices and connection to God, Spirit, or whatever that person percieves. God is that big, I think.

I don't know anyone who is really for killing a prenate, but many who are against abortion, for themselves, and in theory, do believe it's a woman's right and especially so in a few circumstances. I believe abortion is like midwifery -- it should never have been illegal. It's like the Iraq "Conflict" (it's not a war, ya know). It should have never happened. So? These things all happened, and now we have to fix them. The answers are not in the bi-polar shadows of society. The answers are in exploring beyond the edges of the boxes we have closed ourselves in.

I came to my opinions, like we all do -- via my personal experience. My soul's experience, in this body and separated from the Source through my humanity.

I had my first child at age 18; I was unmarried when I conceived him in the summer of 1974, just before my senior year of high school. This forms my beliefs and every aspect of who I am today. At that point, pregnant, there is NO easy answer. I was allowed by my family to chose my "poison" -- that which I could live with with the expectation of marriage. I was not forced to do anything. My concern about the pro-right movement is that it doesn't give girls or women their choice. Does Sarah Palin's daughter have a real choice? Would she have preferred to raise her baby as a single mother until she matures and falls in love and chooses the journey of marriage with another human? Would she feel her baby would have a better life with another family?

For every pregnancy, there are four options and each have lifelong consequences. Keep the baby, abort the baby (whether a doctor does it or herbs or activity or willing are used), give the baby away, and for the unmarried the additional choice that is not so enforced today, marry the father. Each decision has profound ripples through one's life. I came to believe once one engages in sexual activity (for me it was three months), one must be willing to face life-altering, life-long consequences. None of the choices are good when one is unprepared to be a parent.

I came to believe strongly, because of my experience and my professional work in a multidude of services serving women and children, that a human being, a baby, a soul, has rights to be born into a family, to a couple, who is emotionally, spiritually, physically, and financially ready to care for that soul. That soul will live with the consequences of the egg and the sperm and the professional who attends his or her physical birth. I came to believe that the soul chooses the life, the family, the lessons -- how else to reconcile the horrid situations I have seen in my professional work? That we hear about in the news? How else to reconcile the inconsistencies, the disparity into which souls are born -- some pristine, some horrid?

The paternal grandfather suggested abortion. Truthfully, I didn't even know what it was at first. It was not an option for me. I was horrified. I loved this being the moment I knew about him. I personally can not imagine being able to live with aborting him nor could I have lived with giving him up for adoption. I have known women who were forced to do one of those, and women who chose to. For some women it continued to be the best choice for them. Who am I to judge?

I chose to marry too young to a young boy who felt he had no choice, then I chose to divorce him, and to live with those consequences. His life was never the same. We/I have a wonderful son who defies the stereotypes of being born to a teenager, and he has just welcomed a son -- after nine years of marriage he planned and welcomed a child into their lives.

We have had many, many rough years ... I breastfed him and practiced "attachment parenting" before it was cool and had a name. He went through college with me and grew up as I grew up. He has been through step-parent situations that wounded him. He made me rise up and live life to the best of my ability, but it wasn't often good enough, although for any mother we must believe on any particular day that we are doing the best we can. It was hard, but becoming a mother responsible for another soul at age 17 was the best option for me.

And, that is exactly how I embraced it. I saw this baby coming into my life as a soul who has his own journey. How I knew that then, I don't know, but it is the foundation for my work today. My four children are souls who came through me to do what they came to this planet to do and learn. I know women whose journey is not in motherhood or parenting the baby/soul but having aborted them, they still have a relationship and a journey.

I wonder, did that soul come to them knowing that it would be aborted? What about the soul that comes knowing it is unwanted by the mother and will never be welcomed, never truly feeeeeel loved, but will born? What about that soul's life long struggle in a society who does see birth as sacred or the baby as a fully present being, a soul coming from Spirit. Or, what about the soul who will be born to a young, poor woman with four children already. Does this soul know before it gets here what this is journey is about? I believe so.

I believe my son who is a soldier and who has been in Iraq and Afghanistan made HIS choice to come to a mother who is an advocate for peace and a father who was a conscientious objector for pretty darned good reasons. He chose parents capable of nurturing, and financial and emotional care, and where he was wanted, cared for, breastfed, and experienced "attachment parenting" before it had a name. I believe he did so for the balance he would need, for the leadership style he would adopt, and for the beliefs he would hold while engaging in war as part of his soul contract. He began his journey at age five when he called himself GI Joe -- with neither the military glorified or reviled. Nothing else makes sense to me except that he chose us for a reason. Preconceptionally, I was aware of his presence and that he was coming in for over a year. There is much about this pre-conception communication on www.birthpsychology.com. I read Hillman's Soul's Code when my son was a teenager and it contributed to my existing beliefs, so that I was able to sign the papers for my son to go to the military. I considered and still do, an act of love, to honor his soul's purpose. Sure, my mother self was in denial about the future -- which came to be. Some people when they abort the unborn soul in their womb also feel it is an act of love, as do some who give their baby up for adoption.

What I do know is that our society does not provide the resources before, during, and after pregnancy regardless of the decision, but especially when abortion and adoption are the choice. Babies, souls, are taken from the womb, without an opportunity for grieving and saying good-bye, and without closure with the woman who brought them into the world. There is a whole field of study within pre and perinatal psychology about the wounding of the adopted baby.

I feel strongly that our society must continue to give women the right to choose how to proceed with the pregnancy she concieved. I am "pro-life/against abortion (if I must be labeled) ... for me, and being such an advocate for the human baby, I feel it must be a horrible decision to make. I am pro-right because I want the right to choose. There was a time when I would have considered abortion. Fortunately, I didn't have to. I also feel that we can not kill a soul, and so it is between that woman, that soul, and the father.

I feel men are left out of the equation. I don't have answers. I can only do the best in my own life -- I "lectured" my sons often about their responsibility & the lifelong impact they'll have to live with because the woman will have full rights to decision-making. I was as concerned about their sexual behavior, reproductive responsibilities, and the life-long consequences as I was/am my two daughters.

I want my daughter to value human life. She is on this journey with me ... filming people in the film. She knows the importance of CONSCIOUS CONCEPTION, the importance of welcoming a soul, being prepared to be totally responsible for a human being. She is loved, touched, and honore and knows her body is her temple, that she is a temple. Will it prevent her from sexual activity? Will it prevent her from unwanted pregnancy? Is she as fertile as me? Will her abandonment by her father manifest in sexual activity? I do proactive education and prevention with my teenage daughter. I could not bear the thought of her unable to talk to me, going off by herself to have an abortion. We have that law because of the profound number of girls who are victims of incest and impregnanted by an adult male relative, but we don't provide the necessary care for these young girls. Our society condones "Random Conception."

Related, I also just read interesting article, "Conception by Deception" Why Women Get Away With "Accidentally" getting pregnant -- If a man tried to pull the same manipulative stunt, he'd be bobbitted.
http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/1998/09/cov_23feature.html

Going beyond abortion as murder and abortion as a woman's right to her body (while she has diluted rights during birth), when we consider that the soul is present before conception we can begin to treat prenates and neonates with regard and see that actions that create another life need to be honored.

When we have a social, spiritual, and political will to honor that the human being is sacred over money and power, we will expect and support CONSCIOUS CONCEPTION rather than the multitude of socially acceptable beliefs that support "Random conception." Our financial budgets will go to create health and wellness from the beginning of life (conception through breastfeeding) as the foundation for health and wellness. The medical establishment is in charge from abortion to death.

7 Secrets of Homebirth from a Dad's Perspective

2008-10-15T11:25:00.004-05:00

Gloria LeMay, midwife, sent me this article by a father.

7 Secrets of Homebirth from a Dad’s Perspective

by Ven Batista

1. In a home birth you are no longer relegated to the bench.

Before the birth itself there is more to think about in a planning and logistics sort of way, ranging from buying equipment to manly jobs like making sure the birth pool hose actually attaches to your taps. On game day you are not just a big hairy thing whose only use is to be squeezed viciously or swore at. You are in charge of the birth pool, maybe even catching the baby (I'm doing that next time). And, aside from the mother, who will be a little preoccupied, you are the only person in the building who knows where all the towels are. If you have ever read "The Hitchhikers Guide", you'll know how vital that is.

2. You'll lose less hair and gain less wrinkles.
Having a baby is always frightening on some level, if you're not scared out your wits you must be medicated or dead inside. With a homebirth though there are less things that stress you out and feed the ugly fear monster within. Think of it: No traffic. No worry of getting lost. No worry of the car not starting. No worry that you've forgotten something. No pacing corridors. No worry about what's happening. No corridors to pace. No smug doctors. You'll still be worried, but it won't consume you. Besides – in a home birth, you have too many jobs to do to have time to let your fear monster run free.

3. Home is where the heart is.
Not to mention Cd's, DVDs, the PlayStation... All your comforts. Your music, your TV, your favourite mug, your fridge, your magazines, your books even your beer I guess. You'll be more relaxed, the mum will be more relaxed and the baby will be more relaxed too when he/she pops out. I'll be honest, despite the stimulus of worry and excitement, births are pretty boring. Maybe I have a short attention span, but it's not, you know, entertainment. And we all know they can go on a bit. With a home birth you will be a thousand times less bored as you can take a break and read a magazine or flip on the idiot box for a bit. Hell, it's probably less boring for the midwives, too.

4. Say goodbye to the little things that kill Me?
I hate hospitals for a million and one small and big reasons. Looking back now I can't believe I didn't jump for joy when Bel mentioned having a home birth simply because I wouldn't have to go to one. My main problem with hospitals is this - the idea of being surrounded by sick people sounds like a bad strategy if you want to stay healthy. Plus there are a hundred small things: it smells bad, the foods nasty, it's demeaning to find your way by following coloured lines on the floor and most importantly, when your newborn arrives he/she won't be woken up by someone else's screaming child. Hospitals suck, home rules!

5. You don't have to live the delivery room cliché of the hapless and scorned father.
You know the one - where the woman in labor hates her husband and screams blue murder into his face, punches him etc. Either that or she is so medicated and spaced out she doesn't even know what a father is, let alone who you are. With a home birth her labor is undisturbed. She does not have to be picked up halfway through and rushed to the hospital. I cannot state enough how much of a difference this makes.

6. You are He-man of the home, you have the power!
That's right. It's not the power of gray skull though, it's the power of being the master of your environment. It's a subtle difference, but one you will notice. Your home is your place. You pay for it. The midwives and guests are the fish out of water. If they want something, they ask you. There's a funny thing about evolution, it has created the subconscious trait that whoever gives out the food is the dominant player in any situation. That's why in a home birth you will find it feels a lot more natural to ask more questions about what's going on, to make sure that the birth plan is stuck to and to generally be more involved and have more say over the whole thing.

7. You won't have your surprised, fragile heart ripped out.
If you only remember one of these secrets, make sure it's this one. At the end of a home birth, the midwives leave. Not you. This is the way it should be. In a hospital, you will be torn away from you newborn child and your exhausted wife at the very peak of your emotional vulnerability.

Let me paint the picture for you real quick: two weeks before my eldest daughter was born my Dad had died, we were not financially safe and I didn't have a job. In short, it was tough. But being the alpha male I am, I wasn't showing it and being the rock solid guy I like to think I am. But the instant I saw my new daughter’s face I discovered a vein of happiness and a depth of feeling that washed away my ego and my fears and even helped me come to terms with my Dad's recent death and made me, a mainly scientific sort of thinker, to almost see a thread of symmetry within life.

If that's all a bit too Lion King for you I apologize, my main point is this –at that point the most unnatural thing in the world for me to do was leave my daughter, drive home and lay on my couch for eight hours and wait for the sun to rise. To make me do that, is probably the cruelest thing that has ever been done to me. In retrospect I wish I had stayed and made them try and have me arrested to make me leave. I have forever lost that first night with my first born.

These are my reasons why home birth was better for me. I've called them secrets, because these things are not common knowledge and are not talked about all that much even within the world of home birth programs and message groups etc. It's not all good – you will have to clean up afterwards. That's not any one's idea of fun. But hey, that's a small price to pay in my opinion.

After experiencing both hospital and home birth my wife and I wouldn't even consider going to a hospital again unless there was a very compelling medical reason why we should do so. That's compelling, by our standards of reason and common sense. Not what any medical profession says. It's a no-brainer for us. As a Dad there is really no comparison to be made.

You are a key part of a home birth. The mother needs you and is relying on you. In a way it's a shame when it's all over because you revert back to being a useless man again before the midwifes left-over tea goes cold.

http://www.homebirth.org.uk/blokesven.htm
Ven Batista

Delivery Room Football

2008-10-12T20:22:00.005-05:00

by Emmet Miller, M.D.

“Hold on a minute!” I said. “I want her to go to her mother.” I looked over at Sandy’s exhausted, filmy eyes and the look of panic on her face.

“No, we’re sorry,” they replied firmly. “Hospital policy.” Having proclaimed this, they strode purposely forward toward the door just to my left.

Quickly I stepped in front of them, blocking their way. “Hospital policy or not, I’m her father and she’s staying here!”

Suddenly it seemed time began to slow. Looking back, it seems almost like some sort of bizarre operating-room football game. The doctor, with my child tucked under his right arm like a halfback, decided he would simply ignore this irrational father, take a step to his right and scoot on past my left elbow and through the swinging door. I don’t know what he expected I would do, but I certainly know his eyes looked surprised when I made my move.

Continue to read the rest of Delivery Room Football

Men are Wounded in Birth

2008-10-12T12:03:00.010-05:00

Bloggers and group lists posters are wondering if the film will be politically correct and address all the configurations of partnerships. The answer is no. The full film, "The Other Side of the Glass" is a film for fathers and does not address alternate partnerships or single-parenting because it is a film about men. The information will be invaluable to anyone who is in the position of supporting a woman during labor and birth, particularly, if that person has legal rights to make decisions. The film will look at the impact on society for the historic abuse of the newborn male in modern society.

Throughout the modern history of birth in America, women have been drugged, isolated, restrained (literally or now with epidural), and violated, as have their babies who are birthing "under the influence" with a mother "under the influence". We are currently in a huge surge and swing that is fighting for a woman's rights to her body in birth as well as in choosing to carry a baby. Books and films about women in birth fill the libraries and bookstores.

The twenty-some year-old field of pre and perinatal psychology is making progress in bringing awareness to the fact that birth is the BABY'S birth. The human being IS being born from the mother. It is not her birth. It's not rocket science or New Age to consider the scientific foundation that the laboring baby knows via hormones that the mother is feeling afraid, stressed, distracted, withdrawn, absent and abandoned. Labor and birth form the template for the mother-baby relationship outside the womb, in the world, for life. Good midwifery care supports mother to "stay connected" to her baby throughout labor, birth, and first hours of life. Midwives, WOMEN usually, are less invasive. The back to midwifery movement is predominately WOMEN, and some evolved and gentle men are supporting WOMEN to heal birth. Without knowing even, perhaps, they are working on the core of the peace movement, the movement to create healthy, harmonious, happy human beings from the beginning of life. (www.safebabyresolution.com). This healing what happens to the mother-baby dyad is profound, and I propose that it does not yet address the whole picture: the history of the violation of the male baby.

But what about the father in the equation? The trinity, I like to say. Where are the books and films that support him to touch the deep experience of his baby self, and to transform that in order to be present, intimate, aware, and connected? Where is the movement and the group support, and conferences of experts promoting what he needs in birth? What has the man's role in modern birth evolved into? And, from where? How are fathers (MEN) harmed in the very same birth experience that women are now fighting to end? Even today, it is a rare man who leaves the birth experience of his baby feeling "intact" and without a nasty contradiction of feelings with no place to express them, and no way to understand them, and no way to address the expression of the experience of his partner (loss, betrayal, disconnected, abandoned, unprotected by him), often expressed as anger at him. He can not separate his mother-stuff from his wife-stuff. Psychology is clear about that, but has never addressed the root of it, his own birth and separation from the womb and the breast.

All human American babies have historically have been induced, drugged, violated, and separated when they enter the world. Rather than being placed on mother's chest to do what nature has known for 175 million years, modern obstetrics suctions, dries, pokes, injects, and puts substances in the baby's eye. If one take but a moment of quiet introspect to consider this, one begins to see the barbaric nature of this "routine, standard practice" in American obstetrics.

Neither modern obstetrics, nor modern psychology looks at the impact of this on that the human baby. The differences between male and female victim-offender dynamics is not addressed in terms of the vital experience of coming into the world ... our primal experience. Does the male newborn baby who is drugged, boundaries violated, poked, probed, rubbed, and separated from his placenta (Life Force) and the mother in a multitude of ways -- especially sensory (touch, sound, hearing with the calamity of voices and noises), taste and smell (deprived of fluids on his hands and of her milk) -- not record in his brain this experience? Is he not profoundly impacted by the immediate severance from the Source of Life for him and from his mother when his cord is cut immediately? So that he can be woman-handled by gloved, masked strangers and poked and prodded?

It is a stereotype that men hate hospitals, and that they refuse to go to the doctor, and would rather die than go to the hospital. And, they typically are the ones who fear homebirth as too dangerous. Must be in hospital. Has anyone done a study of this behavior looking at the issues of loss of power for men in their birth experience and circumcision experience? Has anyone done an study to look at the impact of immediate cord clamping (loss of blood) causing forced physical and emotional separation from the mother (harshly by strangers), and the profound boundary violation of the self -- all coiniciding with the switching of fetal circulation, the closing of the foramen ovale? Do male physiological cardiogy dysfunction and intimacy dysfunctions have to do with the primal period?

Naw, obstetrics tells us that the baby doesn't feel and remember birth, while the scientific discovery proliferates information about the exquisite and profound abilities of the prenate and the newborn. We are lead to believe, and do, as a society, that this same baby, during labor and birth, goes into an "off" position so that ... what? the indoctrination can occur? So that obstetric medicine can imprint the message of fear, isolation, women hurt and abandon, and medicine is the hero, fix-it-all?

Take a moment to consider how it is that this foundation contributes to how men feel and interact with their world, with women, with medicine. In the trailer the hospital born baby, Andrew, is scrubbed, suctioned, poked, and prodded for fifty minutes, non-stop with less than a minute as the longest interval without someone invading him. A female OB, a female OB resident, and two female nurses violated this baby boy repeatedly. Why? And, importantly, WHAT is the long-term impact to his psyche? How is it that in the year 2008 this brutality is allowed to happen and people watch it and smile, the perpetrator even cooing and baby-talking WHILE they violate the newborn. In the film viewers will see how one nurse overpowers a male resident and the boy's father. How is this? How does this happen?

I have been joking recently about how if George W, a gangsta, or a Chicago Mafia guy were at their baby's birth in the hospital, that even they could be disempowered by a female obstetric nurse. Why is that? Ruthless, self-serving, violent men who order masses killed and can pop someone for any reason. I'd have to wonder if their penis' were cut off in the hospital in their first days of life. Sure, we've been indoctrinated with the mythical science about how safe birth is in the hospital, but what DO we know about the connection to being violated, fearing for our lives coupled with indoctrination. We know it works. It works to gain control over another human!!

The following is an excerpt from a webpage by John Travis, MD, MPH who has a book coming out soon about the abuse of men in birth.

Why Men Leave--A Hidden Epidemic

Assertion: Modern culture is in the midst of a hidden epidemic of fathers leaving their families--usually around the time when the first child is born.

Men leave their families in a multitude of ways. Even if they remain in the home, many fathers are often emotionally absent--through depression, workaholism, violence/aggression, physical or emotional abuse or a retreat into addiction to substances, media, consumer goods, sports, food, or sex.

Most men in the "developed" nations today never bonded (or very poorly bonded) with their mothers. Most people don't even notice how disconnected modern people are from each other, compared to cultures where the bond is still intact. Yes, we talk of alienation and notice how much people in Mediterranean cultures touch each other, but we make no connection between these phenomena and how our bonds among people, with nature, and with the divine have been torn asunder. I propose that this unnoticed, silent epidemic of disconnection/alienation is the source of most societal ills. Fathers leaving their children and their families is only the tip of an iceberg..

As infants, most men in our culture have been bottle-fed and subjected to other culturally-endorsed patterns of normative abuse, such as sleeping alone or being left alone to cry when their needs weren't met. Biologically, the male is the more fragile gender of our species and developmentally lags years behind females--well into adulthood. Instead of getting the extra nurturing needed to compensate for being the weaker sex, by age five, males in almost all cultures get far less nurturing than females. It's no surprise, then, that most of the unbonded boys in our culture grow into men who spend a good deal of their time unconsciously seeking (and fueled by advertising that prominently features the breasts they were denied) a mommy-figure to provide them with the nurturing they were denied as infants/children. Part of their survival mechanism is to learn to deny their feelings and project their unmet needs for nurturing onto substitutes, such as women, and other externals, the most common of which are consumerism, workaholism, and substance addictions.

On another page he shares his story,

I was born in the farmlands of western Ohio in 1943. Like most babies born in those days, I drugged (via my mother's general anesthetic, which took weeks to wear off), dragged out of the womb,with cold, metal forceps, grasped by sticky rubber gloves, and plunged into bright lights--instead of being gently greeted with warm hands in subdued light. I was doubtless held upside down to drain my lungs (I'm not sure if I was slapped or not, but that was the norm of the day). Stinging silver nitrate was put in my eyes. I was wrapped in cold, scratchy fabrics instead of being allowed to mold my skin against the warm skin of the person with whom I'd been intimately connected for nine months. A little while later, I was taken to the nursery where I was placed in a plastic box beside Carol D., born earlier that day. I spent my next 10 days there (the norm for the early '40s). Arlene and Marlene soon joined me, twins born a few days later. I was given a cold, rubber nipple with a bottle of a fatty, antigenic substance instead of the miracle food that three million years of evolution had prepared for me.

Then, a day or so later, I was immobilized on a board and, without painkillers, the majority of the most sensitive nerve endings of my penis were amputated. Then followed the standard "normative abuse" parenting practices of the 1940s:

1) artificial baby milk--probably Carnation or Pet Evaporated Milk

2) a four-hour bottle schedule. (I got hungry every three hours and cried that last hour, until I learned it was no use and made a decision about the world that is so basic to my brain's neural organization that it still impacts almost everything I do--"Asking for what I want doesn't work--my needs will never be met.")

3) restraint in a crib or playpen,

4) deprivation of the continual movement of being carried in-arms

5) sleeping alone in a separate room.

Most of these "improvements" were devised by men propagating, in the name of "modern child rearing practices," untested "scientific" ideas, all of which have since been proven to be destructive to human bonding. I don't blame my or other parents of that age; they naturally followed the cultural winds, and the promise of science and technology to cure the world's ills was, in 1943, still an untarnished vision.

Continue reading at:
Why Men Leave

The Zen Puddy Cat

2008-10-10T01:54:00.044-05:00

Baby Puddy, here, communing with a grasshopper, is responsible for moving the "The Other Side of the Glass" from a dream to a reality.

I am blessed that the film is being felt and seen as as important I feel it is. After a thousand hits in just a few days, I was sitting at the computer watching that crazy Puddy Man sunning in the window and marveling.

Marveling at how touched people around the world are by the film and what if they knew one little old abandoned baby kitty in rural Missouri had such a big part of it.

I picked up him and tried to engage him in my awe and speak to him as an amazing soul, like I do babies. Well, he's a pretty amazing Being, but he's still a Puddy cat ... and with those lizard green eyes he gave me a bored, almost annoyed look. Maybe he was thinking, "It's no biggy" or just was it, oops, I forgot -- we cuddle when he's says we cuddle, and I interrupted his nap in the sun.

So what is Puddy's story?

From the beginning ... my daughter and I rescued Baby Puddy on October 16, 2006, the day my son's plane left the US for Iraq. After a frantically planned, then aborted last minute rush to Mississippi to see my son one more time -- look in his eyes, nuzzle his neck, smell him, kiss him, and tell him how much I love him -- we went out to visit a farmer advertising kittens. [My daugher later won a fiction writing contest based on the near-trip - My Brother, My Hero. She's working on a script of it now and I'll produce it -- if I can get Sally Fields to play me, Channing Tatum (Left, he was awesome in "Step Up" and "Stop Loss") to play my son (see the resemblance?), and a beautiful, young Bollywood star to play my daughter].
Read Mariah's Story on the Daniel Boone Library website

So, Baby Puddy and one sibling had been discovered in a field and no mama to be found. ;-( They were estimated to be about four weeks old. Shortly after arriving home, we discovered that he was full of fleas. I gave him a bath, calmly talking to him, telling him what I was doing and why, and giving him a chance to settle in to it -- just as I would a newborn baby. The fleas climbed in mass to his face to escape the water. I have never seen so many, especially on one tiny little body. Baby relaxed and seemed to enjoy it, and even seemed grateful. Later, he curled up on my chest to nap, purred like a lion, and occasionally reached up to pat my chin. He was so little he slept on my computer battery charger to stay warm.

Max, seen here, became Puddy's big brother. (Real men wear pink and beads!) I attached Max's leash to the railing outside the door so that they could play outside. As long as Max was there, Baby Puddy stayed and learned that this was home. He grew to enjoy the outside and people in the condos around me enjoyed him. My neighbor downstairs who had recently lost her very old cat adopted Puddy. She and the people across the walk way would fill me in daily on his antics and how he entertained them doing spins and chin ups on the limb of the tree before learning how to sleep like a panther on a branch; standing on his back legs barely able to lap up water in the bird bath, and stalking and chasing bunnies away from the flowers gardens that finally were able to grow.

A year nearly passed and Baby Puddy brought me great joy as I too watched him live life outside as a wild man and come in to be a cuddly, loving Puddy. I enjoyed watching him enjoy his freedom, to feel the grass under his feet, to smell the smells of his home, to enjoy the sunshine on his face and back, and to play. While my son gave up his freedom to enjoy the fruits of our society, forever changing his own life, for us to continue to enjoy our luxurious way of life, watching Puddy grow and enjoy life was a profound blessing.

So, fast forward through the hardest year of my life, and my son's fifteen month deployment ending.

First, though, today, in a gas station I saw a sign for two local MO teens, a girl and boy, both 16, who are missing. My heart went out to their families, especially their mamas. Trying to name "what's it like" to have a child go to war, I found that only that situation ... a missing young child ... comes near to the panic, terror, and helplessness that fuels the roller coaster. Fearing and yet preparing for the worst news, while also having the most hope in the world. It took me to the depths, "to the crevices of my inner dark cave" to shine light on what was there, and to come back. That is the blessing.

The first six weeks and the last six weeks are the hardest for families for a variety of reasons and the most dangerous for the soldiers. They are most likely to be seriously hurt or killed during this time.

As the anticipated date of return in mid October, 2007 rolled around, during the last six weeks, an odd event began unfolding. One night about 11 pm, because I am a night owl and clearly for a specific purpose not yet known to me, I decided to go out and check my mail on the corner. As I walked down the walk-way, Puddy came blazing by and I heard a woman scream, "That cat's fixin' to be killed!" I couldn't help showing my disdain and referencing her lack of intelligence, and called out, "FIXin' to be killed? WHAT are you talking about?" She proceeded to rant about how he was killing birds. I said, "Yeah, well, that's what cats do." When she threatened to kill him for killing birds in her yard, I told her that he is an animal and doing nothing wrong.

She persisted and finally I tried to effect her compassion. I told her that I got him the day my son left for Iraq and that he brings me much joy seeing him outside. "THAT's YOUR CAT?!" She had not realized that he was my cat and she began backtracking her statements of killing him but threatening to catch him to take him to a farm or the pound. Clearly, I had intercepted a covert night mission. I realized she was the author of a vicious note on my dad's truck parked in her second spot the winter before, threatening "I will find you and make you pay". I said that I realized who she was that I would no longer talk with her.

I attempted to keep Puddy inside over the next few weeks because she threatened his life, and he was so miserable. A few times he sneaked by Mariah and sometimes I'd let him at night. Several times a week when I got out of my car at night, I'd hear her voice across the street screeching through the darkness, "Your cat killed a rabbit today." I couldn't resist. I asked, "Do you eat meat?" The response, "Yes" and I continued, "Someone had to kill those animals that you ate today. How many animals died for you today?" After a few exchanges on different nights (she ignored my presence in daylight), I decided to not participate in Jerry Springer relationship with her and ignored her. She continued, adding the threat to turn me into the condo association. I thought, so what? He's been outside for a whole year now. Against condo rules as she had put up three birder feeders (cat feeders) and that is what lured him over to her yard. Bottom line, in my world, my son's return to American soil was my constant thought; my cat killing birds was very small on my radar.

Throughout this time, I chose to see her as a Divine Soul, on her path, here for her purpose and suddenly and dramatically engaged with mine. I wondered .... what has brought her into my world? What is she reflecting to me? It has to be for my higher good and learning.

On November 13th I arrived home to find my daughter in tears. She was holding a letter that she found taped to the door. She said, "We've been kicked out." From my daughter's story, I know that I smiled, realizing that something much bigger was happening. Apparently, I had missed the first letter that telling me that there was a condo association rule against cats being outside, and warning me that if he was out again, I'd be evicted. According to the letter, "Your cat was seen outside on October 26 and November 2nd" and I had thirty days to vacate. Yeah!! I was being released from a place where I didn't want to live and had nine months left on the lease. (Yeah, somebody needs to "get a life.")

Within seconds I knew that this was a gem of an opportunity and within minutes I knew it was time to go do the film and work on the Safe Baby Resolution in Hawaii that I had worked on that year. I could do it if I didn't have the expense of a home. I was reminded -- AGAIN -- of Carolyn Myss' book, "Anatomy of Spirit" that I had read ten years before, and my young new-mama neighbor and I had been watching "The Secret", one of the laws of attraction I'd followed for years. Both tell us that when we wish for, think about, plan, and dream about what it is we want, the universe conspires with us to bring it about. Sometimes, it comes in surprising ways that may be misunderstood as losses or failures, and that doesn't look exactly like we'd planned it, but as Byron Katy says, whatever happens is always for our good.

My son did not return home in October 2007, but went directly from Kuwait into Afghanistan. That weekend I went to a showing of "The Business of Being Born" at the local Rag Tag theater. I was numb and saw it through intense pain and sadness. A year later I'd see it again and be surprised at what I'd missed. What I did get out of it was the amazement that the film I wanted to do, comparing BABIES' EXPERIENCES at home vs hospital birth, picked up where "The Business of Being Born" left off. It was a seed illuminating within me. At his point, my son not coming home, I realized my unraveling, cleansing, grieving time was over. I realized he was doing what he came here to do and was probably in his prime; working towards becoming an officer "to change the world", our mutual passion, but from different perspectives. I realized it was time to integrate and reweave my life, for me to LIVE MY LIFE and to do what I am supposed to do. But what? How to pick up the threads and weave my life back together? I was too ... too ... tired and overwhelmed ... to figure it out. The answer came easily a month later amidst the challenging opportunity.

One of the things I had "stumbled on to" as a direct result of my son's deployment and my working through it was I joined the Community Access Television station in June of 2007. I began learning filmmaking. I had the homebirth footage and the hospital birth footage. So, I knew immediately that it was time.

I didn't have any money after the year that put me into "poverty", thanks to my unraveling, being unable to work with babies, and my ex not paying child support for 2-1/2 as retribution for "living off him". I did not have money to re-rent another apartment. I could be "homeless" or I could be "on a mission". I put our household belongings in storage and after a huge gala 14th birthday party for Mariah in January, we headed west. I left for California "to do a film" without a camera. Nine months later, here we are, my trailer is out and it's gone viral. It's been one of the most enriching times of my life.

I am doing the film for Andrew, my grandson, the baby born in the hospital, for my daughter, and for her husband. I am doing the film to bring healing to my family. If it heals others and prevents trauma, it will be a great blessing, and an honor to have participated.

Poor Puddy. Sometimes doing a great act for humanity also takes a great sacrifice! He was boarded at the vet's for two+ months while Max got to go to Grandma and Grandpa Great's. Puddy was so happy to see us and to be home. "Home" was a 3 bedroom duplex that a friend "donated" to me for the time I was in Missouri learning the editing program and editing the trailer.

So, here he is, in the middle of the night, in August, "helping" me edit the trailer -- and me trying to get away from the camera. What a cat.

"All Creatures Great and Small," not "or". That's Puddy. He's little, but he is mighty. He moved a mountain for me.

And, oh yeah, he did kill the grasshopper. He's such an animal.

A few weeks ago we heard a baby rabbit screaming. They sound like humans! Out in the front yard, we found a wild-eyed Puddy with a bunny hanging from his mouth, and begging for his life. Mariah was upset with him. I reminded her, "Well, now you know why the steak-eater was so upset. It's one thing to see it under plastic wrap at the store and quite another to hear it, a baby screaming for it's life."

Mariah convinced, or rather forced, Puddy to drop the bunny and immediately an owl swooped down out of the tree and snatched the bunny and was gone. Seriously. (I swear I am gonna start wearing the camera on a holster.)

We learn again, don't mess with nature.

Post note: Puddy went on the road with us in November 2008 when we left again for CA and AZ. He enjoyed a month here and there in Surprise, AZ and lived mostly in my room at my daughter's or was outside. His presence resolved a nasty pigeon problem on the peak of the roof over my bedroom window. Once a bird eater, they know it!! Every other month we spent in CA ... LA, Topanga, and northern CA, twice. There on the Chamberlain's Nevada City mini-ranch Puddy loved the friendship of Beethoven, the stray cat, a few neighbor dogs, and prowling around the woods. In Topanga, CA housesitting for a friend up in the mountains, Puddy had to stay in the house or risk becoming coyote food. He did not even try to leave the house. The coyotes seemed to move closer every night and neighbors said it was because they knew the two small animals were there. By the end of the month, the last two nights they were right outside the house, even in broad daylight. It's as if they knew their potential dinner was leaving. We spent a few weeks in Rivierside, CA and Puddy stayed in my room. It was May 18, 2009 and we were heading back to Missouri in time for my dad's birthday.
In the middle of Utah around midnight Puddy was howling like he does when he needs a break. A small town with two exits was convenient. He was behind me howling as I approached the exit. I told him we were almost there. He was quiet. When I got to the gas station he was no where to be found. The window had been cracked so that he could sit on top of luggage and get fresh air but it was not enough for him to get out .... so we thought. Apparently, he'd quieted so quickly because he jumped out the window. We were devastated. There was hardly any traffic so we went up and down the freeway slowly, calling for him. There was no sign of him. We were relieved to not find him severely injured or dead. Earlier in the day we'd had a tire blow out in the middle of the desert on the hottest day of the year: 107 degrees. If you look on the map there is a small stretch of freeway that is the farthest northwest corner of Arizona, where Nevada dips down and coming from Las Vegas you go through a short road in AZ before going into Utah. We were still in Nevada, just before you enter Arizona. We sat in the desert for four hours while a mobile tire unit came and got our two back tires, left us with ice and water, car on jacks, to drive back to Mesquite and put new tires on the rims and then return to put them on. Car doors open, blankets blocking the western sun, Puddy laid with us and panted. Mariah she said it must be like labor ... the process of breathing through it. Not once did he even attempt to leave the car. And then, hours later, in the chill of the night on I70 he jumped out the window.

We finally decided that he had made that choice, and I choose to believe he had other work to do. Someone else to help maybe. I had to grieve my son again as my attachment to Puddy was so connected to rescuing him and having him in our lives the day my son left. I believe my animals and my people come into our lives for a time and a purpose, that they have their own needs. Other than biological family, I don't have any lifelong exclusive people in my life; why hold back an animal has always been my belief. Animals must have their own needs met, and they too leave when it is time. It was very sad. He had on a purple collar, but not the one with his name tag and number on it. It had been lost while in Missouri. Back at that temporary duplex for the time in Columbia, Mariah found it in the yard ... Puddy's collar, and all over again, we felt the loss of our friend, and the little man who helped me through a very rough year. We do believe he had others to help ... we believe he is alive and well in Utah or wherever he ended up. Maybe he was rescued again by a traveler at the truck stop and is busy facilitating other miracles.

High Interventions deliver huge childbirth bill

2008-10-09T08:25:00.000-05:00

Study: High-tech interventions deliver huge childbirth bill
By Rita Rubin, USA TODAY

Childbirth is the leading reason for hospitalization in the USA and
one of the top reasons for outpatient visits, yet much maternity
care consists of high-tech procedures that lack scientific evidence
of benefit for most women, a report says today.

U.S. hospital charges for maternal and newborn care jumped from $79
billion in 2005 to $86 billion in 2006, the authors write. More
than $2.5 billion a year is spent on unnecessary C-sections, which
now represent nearly a third of all deliveries.

Reducing expensive techniques such as C-sections and increasing
low-cost approaches such as childbirth assistants called doulas
would improve mothers' and babies' health while cutting costs, the
authors say.

The report was produced by the Milbank Memorial Fund, the Reforming
States Group of government health policy leaders; and Childbirth
Connection, a research and advocacy group.

"Everybody recognizes that our health care system's in trouble,"
says Childbirth Connection's Maureen Corry, co-author with colleague
Carol Sakala. "But when it comes to maternity care, no one talks
about it."

Yet, she says, with 4.3 million babies born annually, nearly one
in four people discharged from U.S. hospitals are new mothers or
newborns. On the outpatient side, only checkups, follow-ups and
coughs rack up more visits than maternity care.

In 2005, the average hospital charge for an uncomplicated vaginal
birth was $7,000, compared with $16,000 for a complicated C-section,
Corry reports. "I think a lot of people have no idea about the
cost," she says.

The University of Wisconsin's Douglas Laube, a former president of
the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, blames
"very significant external forces" for the overuse of expensive
technologies in maternity care.

"I don't like to admit it, but there are economic incentives" for
doctors and hospitals to use the procedures, says Laube, who reviewed
the new report before its release.

For example, some doctors might get bonuses for performing more
labor inductions, which adds costs and increases the risk of
C-sections, which, in turn, increase hospital profits because they
require longer stays.

In addition, some doctors order unnecessary tests and procedures
to protect against malpractice suits, Laube says.

Bonnie Jellen, head of the American Hospital Association's maternal
and child health section, hadn't seen the report. She says women's
preferences and doctor's malpractice concerns have helped raise the
C-section rate.

Says Corry: "A lot of people think pregnant women are accidents
waiting to happen. It's just crazy."

Find this article at:
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-10-08-childbirth-costs_N.htm

My UC film

2008-09-28T11:00:00.002-05:00

tomgreever (10 hours ago) Show Hide

I'm a father to 2 homebirths and one natural hospital birth. I have caught all three. Anyway, while I'm sure your content is awesome (!!) -- the production quality is seriously lacking. I wish you had hired or worked with a professional for the production. :( This has the potential to be a game-changer for many dads.

“Thanks" for the feedback. Tom. So helpful. Gosh, I didn’t know that -- that my "production is seriously lacking." I am sure you point out what many have thought, and reflects the thought nagging in my ear, "What makes you think YOU can do a film?" So it's worthy of a post here.

Yep, I am a one-person crew -- camera, lighting, sound, set up, interviewing, editing, marketing. This IS a FUND RAISING trailer to be able to do that, get people who are experts in filmmaking, and to do a film that is palatable for the masses, like hospital birth is. This reminds of how important that is -- that it fit within the expectations of the mainstream. Gosh, I hope men really aren't that shallow.

The hospital birth is my grandson, my daughter, and my SIL. I, ME, I couldn’t protect them. I started this journey - giving up my home to go on the road to film my colleagues - knowing that "If it's only a home video to heal my daughter, SIL, and grandson(s) it will be worth the sacrifices."

My daughter said she wanted the first hour of life to be quiet, no unnecessary interventions done, and she wanted him to do the self-attachment/breast crawl. She got the exact opposite ... plus her child was used as a piece of meat to teach a resident. They didn't know I was more than just a grandma ... that I have been an ardent champion against child abuse for my entire life, and my professional life and studies had taken me to be a protector of the baby at birth.

I couldn't protect my own daughter and grandson. I saw my son-in-law in the same position I have seen too many men, some of whom I was blessed to help work though and some who suck it up and go on, "like a man." I had to bring my professional world to my daughter and her husband. The film is to heal them, and my motivation and urgency that kept me plowing through learning the how to get a fund raiser trailer done was to help my son whose son was born in August during the editing.

This has the potential to be a game-changer for many dads.

By some grace of God, if it also happens to get the information to others so that this barbaric treatment of human babies stops, I will die a happy soul, having done my purpose.

I am not even sure I understand this statement, except it rings of professional sports and the men's world. This has the potential to be a game-changer for many dads. I hope fathers preparing to bring another human being in the world will be able to watch amazing people, experts from around the world sharing their extensive knowledge, even if the lighting isn’t perfect. They'd watch a great home shot video of a great game, I presume?

Yeah, you should see my little pro-sumer camera gifted to me, my wimpy tripod, cheap lapel mics, and my “crew” (my 14 year old daughter who also shot the hospital birth footage at age 12). I am the proud product of our new Community Access Television stations; and I am seriously exercising my free speech to reveal the most horrible human rights violation in our country, controlled by several of the most powerful financial gods in our society – obstetrics and drug companies. Who will fund me to go up against these systems when every day in every state in the US women and men must navigate through unreasonable laws and rules in order to birth their baby without medical intervention?

So, yeah, my film is a UC homebirth without all the experts and technology, self-taught in filmmaking, with other good hearted people along the way to share their knowledge and truth with me, to give me lodging, so that within ten months I went from joining the Community Access Television station to completing the trailer. I could so get into that comparison. Your post brought that out. Thanks.

I'm doing the film b/c I can no longer watch the violation of the human newborn ... and now the focus moves to male babies in particular and how being in birth with their wife and child is re-traumatizing, and men grow up acting out their violence against women, in every aspect of our world, including not INSISTING on humane treatment of her, and not INSISTING on other men changing the laws that allow this to go on, for not holding the medical system accountable to follow the true science and knowing.

I gave up my home to do this – for my daughter, SIL, and grandson(s), because she is one of the “unlucky” ones. I am living on the road, below poverty level AND have managed to do what I have here to bring this information to light – that the newborn human baby is being violated when people don’t see that she or he is fully conscious, sentient being, and when people misuse technology and force technology upon the baby. Your comment stings, because of my sacrifice, because I am tired from driving 15 hours straight to meet with a group of men, and because my tooth is hurting. It cuts through all of my friend's, family's, and colleagues accolades and appreciation, and all of the tears and laughter of midwives around the world, and women, many who are looking at their husbands for the first time, thinking for the first time that, wow, maybe HE was also impacted by "HER birth" experience, and maybe for once the masses will consider how the baby felt and was impacted.

Clearly you have an interest in the topic, having experienced only natural and homebirths, and you have expertise in videography/filmmaking. Clearly midwifery & childbirth educator communities appreciate it for what it IS. Homemade. Like a midwife, I have the heart and passion. You professionals have the real skills & tech (that would make it quality enough for men to watch it.) Until it's funded, it's a HB, baby.

I posted trailer for my daughter/sil to see it. It took off. It wasn’t ready. I wasn't ready, but there is it. Striking nerves of women and men who were abused during "normal birth" and those who are the professionals in that field. They don't want to see what they do as impacting a woman, man, and certainly not the baby.

I was hoping to find funding to take it to the world more professionally done. This is my attempt to do that. People want the info. If someone wants to fund it, I'd be thrilled. I could focus on the content, my expertise. I could re-establish my practice again, work with babies and moms, support fatherhood, and have a home again, fix the air conditioning in my 17 year old car, get new glasses, and fix my broken tooth and a bridge that is going bad and has me in pain most of the time now. I could buy my daughter an Ipod, those new jeans she wants and she could buy all the CD's she wants.

Meanwhile, this weekend, we’re in SC to help a father start a father's group. He and his wife are activists for birth. They had just handed me $100 for gas when I read your comment. Yesterday fathers watched the trailer and contributed to pay the gas for me to be here. They are fathers whose wives have been devastated by surgical births, and whose options for a natural birth in the hospital and homebirth are now gone, and are illegal. We've been talking about the need for people with positive births to come to the aid.

I am grateful to those who supported me recently with the $15 donations to receive a copy of the ½ hour production I'll be working on.

Hyper-masculine Idea of Fatherhood -- Not.

2008-09-23T03:18:00.002-05:00

I am very much enjoying the "break" from editing due to the emails, calls, and plans to go east to spend time with and film a father's group, all compliments of the trailer. I am very, very much appreciating the commenters and posters on lists talking about the film. I am finding it very helpful in preparing for the next phase.

crabgrass Says:
September 19, 2008 at

what really got to me was the way that the trailer was so focused on triggering the “protect” aspect of fatherhood/masculinity. there was a way that it was really working to appeal to this hyper-masculine idea of fatherhood. I don’t think the entire film will be more expansive, because I think that the baseline rationale for the film is that fathers need to be empowered (as manly men!) to step in and protect their wives and babies from the abuse of the medical system.

problematic, yet interesting.

Crabgrass:

What really gets to me about the film is how rich and giving it is -- every one has sees and experiences it their different triggers and see that that is what it's about. Based on who they are and "where they are".

I hope you'll go to my blog, www.theothersideoftheglassthefilm.blogspot.com and www.hospitalbirthdebate.blogspot.com and read about why the filmis for men and about men.

It is not at all about being manly men .. and it will expand beyond what one can imagine, beyond feminism. It has for me. It will look at what happens when men are able to heal their own primal wounding as baby boys -- born "under the influence of drugs" as were their mothers, "he cut me so bad" stories, separated and treated harshly by strangers, often women -- like the baby in the film who was brutalized by four strange women.

Most adult men --and only part of the male babies now - ere not breastfed, were brought to their mother on a schedule and cried in the nursery, and most often, their penis mutilated. This was often done by causing an erection. This is the story of most men over 25. Only episeotomy, breastfeeding and rooming in has truly changed significantly, Many babies are not circumcised, but there are still subjected to cord clamping before the placenta is birthed, and this suctioning for "meconium risk" that is now routine, despite the research showing there is no reason. NO reason. It makes no difference on meconium aspiration syndrome. 30% of all babies are born surgically. Circumcision is still done in a majority of cases.

There is a whole psychological phenomenon to be unfolded ... how it is that historically men whose innate need is to protect, yet they have taken us to war repeatedly, raped and pilfered, and until recently it was rarely a woman who would abuse a child sexually.

The men in the film were so the opposite of the hyper-masculine, manly men. They were vulnerable, tearful, speaking of their feelings that men rarely access -- helplessness, powerlessness, guilt, and shame. ALL of it related to THEIR experience of their babies births. ALL of them embracing their earliest parts in order to be better men, and one the ways they do so is to support their partner's biological and physiological needs in birth.

Most women, varied by many comments around the web, are totally unaware of their partners need to have their story heard, to have their perspective of the experience of birthing their child heard, felt, and acknowledged. Honored. It is not just women who experience the birth of their baby. And, when they can figure that out, they can "be with" their baby to tell his or her perspective of their birth. The baby has a story. The baby girl, and the baby boy. It starts there. It changes there.

The film is about healing the masculine, and doing so by being embraced as also wounded, by women. Women and men need to work together to heal the wounding of the feminine and the masculine.

It's about the phenomenon of how men - like a Marine deployed to Iraq three times - can be giant in the world and yet be brought to his knees by an obstetric nurse.

It is about the inner healing that creates gentle protectors --

The father who pounded on the glass is one of those. His story, in full, is about how he gently, and powerfully, protected his daughter ... he was watching a circumcision when he pounded on the glass. When a LD deliver nurse insisted that he leave his wife and go to wait in the waiting room and he refused, and she began to push his chest, a 6'4" man, he simply, "Oh, no, I am not going anywhere" and their doctor happen to come by at that moment to "ok it."

You leave me with a pondering of how "protection" is equated with hyper-masculine and the "manly man.' Good information for me ... thanks for the post.

On the radio

2008-09-22T00:31:00.000-05:00

Rich Winkle

Male Circumcision in the USA:

A Human Rights Primer

and I were on KORE ISSUES on www.kopn.org, 89.5 FM on Saturday, September 20, 2008.

Go to www.kopn.org and go to Archives/Podcasts and then to KORE ISSUES.

It actually starts at the end of the previous show and it takes a few minutes transitioning in the air room.

The following is a note from KORE ISSUES co-host Jesca introducing me:

The gifted and courageous creator of this poignant film, Janel Martin, will be one of our guests this Saturday at 5pm on Kore Issues (www.kopn.org 89.5 fm).

It is my sentiment that every adult should watch this film, regardless of their gender or whether they will be, are, or are not a parent, regardless of their age or stage in life. We all were given life by the combination of a man and woman. We were all at one time an infant. We carry with us all we have experienced from conception whether consciously or subconsciously.

This accepted ignorance or "conscience comforting" idea of thinking babies don't remember or that what happens in womb/in labor/in birth and there after does not continually effect the parents and their relationship with their young has got to end. To me what this film addresses is a big part of the kore reason so many families are falling apart everywhere today. The family is the microcosm of the world human family so healing and changing this is crucial to us all in this world. If one part of humanity is ailing the rest is not the same nor can it reach it's potential.

This is needed and I am compelled to let everyone I know, know about it. I highly recommend you watch this trailor now, and the film when it is completed. As with anything, it is your choice whether you watch it, what you think of it, and whether you share it with others or not. If you do watch it and you are not a robot, prepare for the strong chance that you will feel many different emotions (I know I did) and to probably be awakened to a new understanding of what is happening in regard to this issue (I know I was).

Finally, a birth film for men. A film to empower fathers to protect their babies. By L. Janel Martin

Thank you Janel, you are a true Katalyzt ; ) and you honor us all by your devoted service.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVf4rzam0Xo

Why the film is about fathers

2008-09-19T16:44:00.000-05:00

The purpose of the film is to awaken society to the need to see that the human being is an aware, feeling, experiencing human being and to heal men, the masculine. It is focused on men because they are the forgotten in birth, from their own birth through fatherhood.

Every baby, regardless of how he or she was conceived, comes from a man and a woman ... from the union of a sperm and an egg.

The film will unfold that baby boys are the most traumatized of humans ... most of us on the planet were born in hospitals that are fundamentally, by their nature, by their needs, boundary violating. Boys and girls are different and the differences are present at birth. Both are routinely, historically separated from the mothers in the first minutes of life, the most profound of their lives. Boys experience and live this separation differently. Mothers of sons and daughters may know the difference in attachment and relationship. It is not discussed. It is time it was addressed.

Girls and boys, in the first moments of life have typically been "manhandled" and controlled by male doctors, while their fathers stand by unable to protect them, or while they experience the absence of their father. Often, it is women in the birthing room, some trying to support and protect the mother, some doing the betraying violence. Even if conceived wanted and loved by two same-sex partners with test tube or turkey baster, the human being coming in is aware of the absence of the sperm/father, and is already well-aware of the story of the father. The story is being built-in to the developing baby's body and brain. What ELSE can a gestating baby know but the mother's experience?

There may be a female partner there in that role of mother's partner, or there may be two males there ready to welcome the baby. Well, the good thing is that this baby will be blessed to be so wanted and welcomed ... and yet, the absence of an aspect of their essential being, their male side, will impact them.

The film is for men. Throughout history men lead us into war out of fear, lack of control, and inane and insane need to "protect us". It's time to stop the making of warriors, and men who are afraid of other men, and men who hurt women and children. It is time to honor fatherhood and to begin to try to understand how men have been wounded, being with their births and the unimaginable violation of circumcision.

We have birth films for women -- about every aspect of birth for the woman/mother. We have preparation and support programs for women. Women have support and places for telling THEIR perception of the birth story. Women have a doula based on women "being with woman". It is rare that the father have a place, a space, and another human, particularly another male who's been through it, who knows how to protect a baby in birth, and to really talk about HIS experience.

It is even more rare that a woman or man consider that their baby also has a perception of his experience. Three days of labor and six hours of pushing at home birth does not go unnoticed by the baby any more than a cesarean birth and/or the brutal suctioning of the baby born in the hospital (such as the baby who did NOT need to be suctioned, but was used like a slab of meat for the nurse to train the resident how to suction).

Yes, we all see how horrible it was for the mother to have the baby pried from her hands while she cried no. And, for him to be treated so brutally.

And, it seems like for once maybe, many people were deeply touched by watching a father unable to honor his wife's instinctual knowing and pleading and to stop a female doctor from cutting the cord. Perhaps, finally, people see a father go from a protective stance with his baby to asking almost like a little boy, trying to be nice to get the mean adult to respond, FOUR TIMES, "Can he go to mama now?" "Can we give him to mommy?" to no avail.

All of this was done on camera, with no thought to what was being done. It was a normal birth. But if you were any place else in the world, and you saw an adult doing something even near that to a infant, you would hotline her to your state child protective agency.

This baby boy was violated repeatedly by three females, an OB and 2 nurses, well and, if you count the female OB resident who suctioned him on the perineum, FOUR females in the first ten minutes of his life, while both the father and a male resident complied. Taken from his mother for NO MEDICAL reason. For the first hour hour of his life one of these women was repeatedly scrubbing, poking his ribs, diggin' at his feet, swaddling, bulbing him, taking his temperature as well as brutally suctioning him, sometimes two at a time. At least three times, his father's gentle touch and attempts to connect with him and soothe him, were pushed away by a nurse. As were the grandmother's and the 8 year old brother's. The trailer does not show the worst of the suctioning. Added up, the bulbing alone equaled just over two solid minutes of bulbing.

Where have all of the films for women and about women gotten us in birth when we watch four women highly educated, well-intentioned, once caring women violate this mother, her baby, and his father, and think nothing of it? This same care can and does happen at homebirth with midwives. Not as often, and not as severely usually, but unless one embraces the profound reclaiming of our awareness of the human being's sacredness and consciousness, birth is not truly safe. Just less traumatic, sometimes. Those stories will be there as well.

So, the film is for the males, our sons, as I say in the beginning. Every man was a son. Every man came through a woman. Everything in him wants to experience love, intimacy, trust, and connection. How he experienced his birth and his separation from his mother is defining.

So, the film is for fathers. In my opinion, it is ok that we focus for a moment on men, on fatherhood, about their needs, and their wounding - as baby boys and as fathers. No, it is demanded of us that we hold men and support men in their place and experience of birth. Their experience, their perception, their piece of the total family experience is ignored.

When we get the entirety of what Dr. Chamberlain says, that we are consciousness PRIOR to conception, because we are a soul, we have a psyche, when we acknowledge this, it changes how we care for our babies and our selves. Single-mother, lesbian couple? The baby is still conscious of his or her absent father. Gay couple? The baby is still aware, painfully so, of the absence of the woman who gave him life. Regardless of family is configured after birth, we come into the union of an ovum from a woman and a sperm from a man ... it's time we honored the male, whatever the configuration of the family.

This film can not attend to all of the psycho-social implications and family configurations. The film is not about that, nor is there time to do so here. After we get this piece, perhaps it would be a very good film in itself. It doesn't mean they aren't important and relevant issues. I propose that until we attend to the wounded masculine in our society, that starts with violating baby boys at birth and circumcision, we aren't going to create the kind of society we say we want. Until we figure out how it is that birth is systemically so violating for the mother and baby and father, violence perpetrated by women on to newborn baby boys, then we really can't sufficiently address these other situations.

The film intends to make the point of what a conscious, sentient human needs -- WHEREVER birth happens and with whomever -- doctor, nurse, midwife, paramedic, cabby, or unassisted. It just happens that 95% of birth are in the hospital.

The film will show a third birth, a homebirth, with providers who are conscious of the baby, and gently, slowly, respectfully suction him.

The intention is bring to light the violation of every baby,wherever birth happens and with whomever, but especially the male baby, because the violation of his maternal bond, the separation of his body and heart from his mother is experienced profoundly, and differently. It impacts him differently. It robs him of his ability to connect with women as intimately as he wants. It robs him of his ability to be a man who can protect his wife/partner and baby in the hospital system. It robs him of fatherhood and manhood. It creates a society of dysfunctions, addictions, pathology, dis-ease, war, and every imagineable ism when men and women harm baby boys and girls ..

My film "names it" and poses questions ... and goes beyond to ask, "How do we support men to heal, to integrate, the experiences of his primal period?" How do we, AT THE SAME TIME we realize our own, our babies, and our fellow human's primal wound -- how do we forgive and provide compassion for the caregivers -- doctors, nurses, and midwives -- who CO-created the agreement we've ALL lived by, supported with our compliance and acceptance since medicine began saving lives with antibiotics, interventions, and surgeries.

And, importantly, the film will feature healing sessions with the hospital born and homebirth born baby shown in the trailer. When we talk about what has happened to us and our babies at birth, we must know that there is hope for healing. There is. HOPE.