Preach It!

No one can tell a woman what is best for her and her baby ... waterbirth, homebirth, hospital birth, doctor, midwife, Unassisted Childbirth (UC) or cesarean surgery ... it is for her and her baby to know. The best we can do is support her to access, trust, and know her own inner wisdom and communicate with the Being within her - the One whose birth it is through her womb and the man. - Janel Mirendah, Attachment/Birth trauma therapist, Filmmaker of The Other Side of the Glass.

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Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Other Women: Feminine Betrayal of Wombyn By WoMen

As a whole, women protects her own, the children, against all others, includuing (sic) other women. This is a good thing, an act of nature, for with out this basic natural instinct, we would fail as a community, or even as basic as failing as a species." -- Casual Male Observer on Momania blog

I visited Momania blog where the article was called: "Cat fight on the mom blog: Are we meaner than the sports blogs?" They are talking about what we all know ... Girl-on-Girl and Woman-on-woman emotional and verbal violence. Oh, my the comments!

I got as far as "A casual male observer's" comment. "Most men protect Ideals, such as family, nation, politics, religon, etc. As a whole, women protects her own, the children, against all others, including another women. This is a good thing, an act of nature, for with out this basic natural instinct, we would fail as a community, or even as basic as failing as a species. The average male does not stick around for the children, for the woman is the only true chance for survival of the children. This is true for every species on this earth, with few exceptions."

LOVE IT! As filmmaker of "The Other Side of the Glass" a birth film for and about men's experience in modern birth, I'm looking at the soul's journey into a physical body and earthly family, the result of a sperm and an egg being united by a spark that results in another life. I'm looking at how men are disempowered in birth ... from their experience as a baby being born and how that manifests in his experience of birthing his children. Ain't NOWHERE else in the world, except the hospital where a man is so disregarded and disempowered when his/her wife/partner is birthing their baby into their arms.

Going back to first comment, about how women are historically mean to each other, and where it is socially and culturally acceptable now, why is this? Why is this, how is this acceptable now? All of history? No. American history? Could be. What is the core issue? I believe we need to look at the total denial of what "Casual male observer" has so eloquently stated: "As a whole, women protects her own, the children, against all others, including other women. This is a good thing, an act of nature, for with out this basic natural instinct, we would fail as a community, or even as basic as failing as a species." And, sorry to say, because I know some very caring LD/OB nurse, and I say this with regard for the fine wombyn who are great nurses and midwives. The source, I believe, of woMan-on-wombmyn violence is a result of the domination of women's bodies and birth by the medical system. It is women in this system who harm other women. OTHER WOMEN who disrupt, control, and manipulate a wombyn in this most vulnerable experience and she controls the father as well.

The truth is that wombyn are unable in modern birth to protect themselves and their baby from OTHER WOMEN in the most vulnerable but power experience of her life. I don't think there is any place else or any OTHER WOMAN who has so much control over a man as the hospital labor and delivery nurse. The strongest and most powerful man crumbles and is voiceless and powerless in this woMan's environment. Midwifery is under the control of medical training and beliefs, and as more medically trained midwives do more birth even wombyn giving birth at home with a midwife are being betrayed. They are being betrayed in this moment that "Casual Male Observer" points out is true of every wombyn: the need to protect their baby, even from OTHER WOMEN.

It is OTHER WOMEN throughout modern obstetric history who have carried out the deeds of male obstetric dominated care. Big time since the 1400's when the Church and Medicine hooked up. It is OTHER WOMEN who separate the man/other from his wife/partner ... either covertly or overtly. Overtly, the nurse puts a wombyn in the birthing uniform and begins the control, sometimes becoming torture. Nurses, OTHER WOMEN, used to shave us, force us to do enemas. They still put us in bed, deny us food and water, drug her, tie us down (don't need to so much these days because they are drug pushers of epidural -- with synthetic opiods), hush us, disrupt us to monitor us every 15 minutes and on and on. The doctor, more often female now, comes in to do the fun stuff. Sits at the end of the conveyor belt, gets to do the honors, and thanks the lady's for the preparation and making it so easy, pleasurable, and lucrative for him or her. Her job is done then, and nurses, OTHER WOMEN, resume control. Even the most non-violent birth is a subtle form of rape of women.

After the "ecstatic" or even "orgasmic" moment (whose is a very interesting question) is over, baby is most likely, most often is handed to the OTHER WOMEN. Sometimes the wombyn actually gets to hold the baby or see baby before baby is whisked away by OTHER WOMEN. Everything in a wombyn's being WANTS HER BABY. She has instincts to make eye contact that will trigger the hormones of attachment. Every fiber of her wants to see, touch, smell, and yes, even taste her baby. wombyn today who don't do this ... well, they are not the "normal" ones. Sorry. They are sufficiently suppressed wombyn that are system-compliant.

It is OTHER WOMEN who touch our babies first, never as gently as a mother does when left alone. It is often very rough and even brutal how OTHER WOMEN "stimulate" our babies to breath. It is OTHER WOMEN who deny us our wishes; yes, following the rules of the male-dominated medical hospital system. It is these OTHER WOMEN who take the baby (a main reason for immediate cord clamping, I believe, nothing to do with what the human newborn physiologically needs for optimum life), another woman's baby and deny both mother and baby their God-given need and right to RECONNECT in this most vulnerable and short, yet life defining moment. OTHER WOMEN, sometimes many other women, touch our babies and hold our babies and look into our babies' eyes before us. They do this while doing medically unnecessary interventions, some akin to torture if done by adults to adults in other situations and locations. Our babies hear OTHER WOMEN's voices and feel their touch before they feel ours, before they feel us, smell us, or hear our voice. OTHER WOMEN take our babies and touch them and do things to them that causes our babies to writhe in pain, to scream full-body screams, crying for us, crying for us to make it stop. But we can't. Our baby's father can't even stop it. Our body screams out "NOoooooooo, STOP IT" even when our words don't come out. This scream, I call it the "maternal scream" is STUCK in most of us women ... and, until we heal our bodies, souls, and minds of these experience, we take it out on other women and our spouses. Our babies also live this out, with us and in society. It is, I believe, the core of most emotional and psychological disorders.

WHY do wombyn do this to wombyn? Because it was done to them .. as a baby and as a birthing wombmyn. It's called "normative abuse". The do to OTHER WOMEN and BABIES what was done to them ... as babies and as birthing wombyn ... so that they feel normal. Then we all call it normal. And, we call ourselves normal, but no one ever feels normal. Not until they embrace their body and spirit and heal their early woundings and become more natural. Meanwhile, the "system" gathers steam, via the wounded workers, and thwarts most efforts to be natural, to do what THE BODY ONE LIVES IN WAS PROGRAMMED over eons to do and be. Wombyn who've not given birth but work in these systems have their innate knowing and their instincts over run. They've watched traumatic births all their lives, on television, and see this as normal. They are taught in college and advanced training programs that this is right, moral, scientific and best ... when everything logically, scientifically, physiologically, and emotionally tells us otherwise. wombyn harm other wombyn ... in this profound moment where it is instinctual to protect, hold, nurture her baby, even protect it from other wombmyn, that "Casual male observer" points out, "This is a good thing, an act of nature, for with out this basic natural instinct, we would fail as a community, or even as basic as failing as a species."

Well, guess what, our society and species is failing. Big time. Asthma, cancer, autism, psychiatric disorders doubling and tripling as epidural and cesarean sections rates do the same. Babies under one are being given anti-psychotic medications and it just gets worse for the child in our society. Contrary to what many people said in the comments, it is NOT "normal" for teenage girls to be so vicious and for women to be so vicious. To survive we have to stop it ... wombyn need to stop it. People need to resolve their own early experiences of coming into this world. When a medical caregiver, in charge of the situation, has successfully disengaged a man/partner from the mother, those people have just taken charge of that baby ... body, mind, and soul.

The person who drugs, controls the mother, and forcefully pulls that baby from the mother's body is imprinting "I am in charge" on that baby's whole being. Collectively, it is is strangers, men and wombmyn, who do this to a baby. Collectively, they become the "system" and we are under it's control unless we wake up and consider the plight of the baby. This control forced upon the birth baby is called "mind control" by my colleague and co-host of the radio show we do. This mind control is why people keep going back to the medical profession to birth again or for all the other craziness found there ... they're programmed. At birth. We're programmed by women to not trust wombmyn, and not to trust men, but at the same time, to give it over to "them".

The way out of it is one person at a time. It stops one wombyn at a time, doing her own healing work. It involves stop being the OTHER WOMAN who harms a birthing woman and separates her baby from her ... even with the smallest of NON-medically necessary interventions ... coached pushing, talking, bulbing, putting hat baby, not putting and leaving baby in her arms. ANYTHING done to the baby is felt by the baby and imprinted in his or her brain and body. For sure, stop denying her movement, food, water. Stop following the rules of the system that harm babies and mothers -- fetal monitoring (known IN obstetrics for 20 years to contribute to cesarean that is only "necessary" in the end BECAUSE of the monitoring), drugs, rupturing the baby's membranes, speeding up, slowing down (controlling) her baby's and her body's labor. STOP cutting the cord. STOP making father's feel like "getting to cut the cord cord" is their badge of honor, their shining moment in the birth --- prematurely separating mother and baby before baby and mother have met, before the mother's body knows the baby is ok (signaled by HER releasing the placenta).

It is wombyn and men, especially wombyn, who can stop the women-on-wombyn violence. We can stop the violence of teenage girls and women in drama by stopping the violence perpetrated upon women giving birth.

Most of my career in this field has been trying to find the balance ... be the bridge ... I respect the people as individuals, those who are in the obstetric field and who, I feel, are stuck in a rut they are not aware of, or don't know how to get out. Some of that is a symptom of our social problems of consumerism. People have to work to pay their bills and they have to shut down parts of themselves to do this. I think the worse place for this is maternal-baby health care. I believe it is a known effort at some level to control wombyn's bodies and souls and minds, and to disrupt the mother-baby relationship, the core of humanity. I am concerned for the people who are lovely, caring, compassionate people who became doctors, nurses, or midwives for noble reasons, but have ALSO been harmed by the collective system. I am concerned for the harm to them being in a system that does not honor them either. They work in a system where they are not allowed to stop the violence, and yet they stay. This harms them as well. Blessed is the nurse and doctor, of whom I know many, who are able and willing to navigate the system and the legal and hospital policy issues, breaking rules, in order to do what they know is right for the baby, mother, and father/partner.

My show yesterday, in the archives, is about the early church and witch hunts, the earliest betrayal of women by women. We carry it in our genetic memory. - is my radio show.

Here's a video promoting natural birth in a birth center. Perfect example of the propaganda that perpetuates the violence of wombyn in the system

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Buy It!

Part One: The Other Side of the Glass: a Birth Film for and About Men officially released in digital download format on June 2, 2013. Go to to purchase a digital download.

Men have been marginalized in birth for a long time. The old joke is that a man was sent off to boil water to keep him busy. I believe they were making the environment safe. Birth moved to hospitals and for forty years women were separated from their partners who was left to wait in smoke filled waiting room. Finally, he would see his baby from "the other side of the glass." Now a man can go in the birthing room and even get to hold his partner's hand during surgery. But they are still marginalized and powerless, according to the fathers I interviewed around the country.

Historically, birth has been defined by the medical establishment. The midwifery and natural birth movement now advocate for need "to educate and prepare men to protect their wife and baby" in medical environment. Seems logical ... if we process with the same illogic that got us here.

Through the voices of men - and doctors and midwives - men share heart-touching stories about how this is not workin' out. A man is also very likely to be disempowered and prevented from connecting with their newborn baby in the first minutes of life.

Now is the time for men to take back birth.

The film is about restoring our families, society, and world through birthing wanted, loved, protected, and nurtured males (and females, of course). It's about empowering males to support the females to birth humanity safely, lovingly, and consciously.

Donors, check your emails or email me at for info to download. Release on DVD is not planned at this date.

FREE online! watch Chapters 1, 2, 3, and 10 at

"Doctor's Voices" - Stuart Fischbein, MD - Part 1

Doctor's Voices - Michael Odent, MD

Human Rights Violations

Resources - Healing Birth Trauma

"The Other Side of the Glass" has the potential to open up feelings that have been denied and ignored for a very long time. How to heal the trauma of birth at any age will be addressed in the film. Meanwhile, these are pioneers in the field.

Raymond Castellino and Mary Jackson -

David Chamberlain, Ph.D. -

Judith Cohen -

Myrna Martin -

Karen Melton -

Wendy McCord, Ph.D. -

Wendy McCarty, Ph.D. -

And, many, many more all over the world at
In both relationships and life trust begets trust.
Generosity begets generosity.
Love begets love.
Be the spark, especially when it's dark.

--Note from the Universe,

"Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater developments and greater riches and so on, so children have very little time with their parents. Parents have very little time for each other, and in the home begins the disruption of the peace of the world." - Mother Theresa