Preach It!

No one can tell a woman what is best for her and her baby ... waterbirth, homebirth, hospital birth, doctor, midwife, Unassisted Childbirth (UC) or cesarean surgery ... it is for her and her baby to know. The best we can do is support her to access, trust, and know her own inner wisdom and communicate with the Being within her - the One whose birth it is through her womb and the man. - Janel Mirendah, Attachment/Birth trauma therapist, Filmmaker of The Other Side of the Glass.

Watch It! (The Trailer)

Sunday, September 28, 2008

My UC film

tomgreever (10 hours ago) Show Hide
I'm a father to 2 homebirths and one natural hospital birth. I have caught all three. Anyway, while I'm sure your content is awesome (!!) -- the production quality is seriously lacking. I wish you had hired or worked with a professional for the production. :( This has the potential to be a game-changer for many dads.

“Thanks" for the feedback. Tom. So helpful. Gosh, I didn’t know that -- that my "production is seriously lacking." I am sure you point out what many have thought, and reflects the thought nagging in my ear, "What makes you think YOU can do a film?" So it's worthy of a post here.

Yep, I am a one-person crew -- camera, lighting, sound, set up, interviewing, editing, marketing. This IS a FUND RAISING trailer to be able to do that, get people who are experts in filmmaking, and to do a film that is palatable for the masses, like hospital birth is. This reminds of how important that is -- that it fit within the expectations of the mainstream. Gosh, I hope men really aren't that shallow.

The hospital birth is my grandson, my daughter, and my SIL. I, ME, I couldn’t protect them. I started this journey - giving up my home to go on the road to film my colleagues - knowing that "If it's only a home video to heal my daughter, SIL, and grandson(s) it will be worth the sacrifices."

My daughter said she wanted the first hour of life to be quiet, no unnecessary interventions done, and she wanted him to do the self-attachment/breast crawl. She got the exact opposite ... plus her child was used as a piece of meat to teach a resident. They didn't know I was more than just a grandma ... that I have been an ardent champion against child abuse for my entire life, and my professional life and studies had taken me to be a protector of the baby at birth.

I couldn't protect my own daughter and grandson. I saw my son-in-law in the same position I have seen too many men, some of whom I was blessed to help work though and some who suck it up and go on, "like a man." I had to bring my professional world to my daughter and her husband. The film is to heal them, and my motivation and urgency that kept me plowing through learning the how to get a fund raiser trailer done was to help my son whose son was born in August during the editing.

This has the potential to be a game-changer for many dads.

By some grace of God, if it also happens to get the information to others so that this barbaric treatment of human babies stops, I will die a happy soul, having done my purpose.

I am not even sure I understand this statement, except it rings of professional sports and the men's world. This has the potential to be a game-changer for many dads. I hope fathers preparing to bring another human being in the world will be able to watch amazing people, experts from around the world sharing their extensive knowledge, even if the lighting isn’t perfect. They'd watch a great home shot video of a great game, I presume?

Yeah, you should see my little pro-sumer camera gifted to me, my wimpy tripod, cheap lapel mics, and my “crew” (my 14 year old daughter who also shot the hospital birth footage at age 12). I am the proud product of our new Community Access Television stations; and I am seriously exercising my free speech to reveal the most horrible human rights violation in our country, controlled by several of the most powerful financial gods in our society – obstetrics and drug companies. Who will fund me to go up against these systems when every day in every state in the US women and men must navigate through unreasonable laws and rules in order to birth their baby without medical intervention?

So, yeah, my film is a UC homebirth without all the experts and technology, self-taught in filmmaking, with other good hearted people along the way to share their knowledge and truth with me, to give me lodging, so that within ten months I went from joining the Community Access Television station to completing the trailer. I could so get into that comparison. Your post brought that out. Thanks.

I'm doing the film b/c I can no longer watch the violation of the human newborn ... and now the focus moves to male babies in particular and how being in birth with their wife and child is re-traumatizing, and men grow up acting out their violence against women, in every aspect of our world, including not INSISTING on humane treatment of her, and not INSISTING on other men changing the laws that allow this to go on, for not holding the medical system accountable to follow the true science and knowing.

I gave up my home to do this – for my daughter, SIL, and grandson(s), because she is one of the “unlucky” ones. I am living on the road, below poverty level AND have managed to do what I have here to bring this information to light – that the newborn human baby is being violated when people don’t see that she or he is fully conscious, sentient being, and when people misuse technology and force technology upon the baby. Your comment stings, because of my sacrifice, because I am tired from driving 15 hours straight to meet with a group of men, and because my tooth is hurting. It cuts through all of my friend's, family's, and colleagues accolades and appreciation, and all of the tears and laughter of midwives around the world, and women, many who are looking at their husbands for the first time, thinking for the first time that, wow, maybe HE was also impacted by "HER birth" experience, and maybe for once the masses will consider how the baby felt and was impacted.

Clearly you have an interest in the topic, having experienced only natural and homebirths, and you have expertise in videography/filmmaking. Clearly midwifery & childbirth educator communities appreciate it for what it IS. Homemade. Like a midwife, I have the heart and passion. You professionals have the real skills & tech (that would make it quality enough for men to watch it.) Until it's funded, it's a HB, baby.

I posted trailer for my daughter/sil to see it. It took off. It wasn’t ready. I wasn't ready, but there is it. Striking nerves of women and men who were abused during "normal birth" and those who are the professionals in that field. They don't want to see what they do as impacting a woman, man, and certainly not the baby.

I was hoping to find funding to take it to the world more professionally done. This is my attempt to do that. People want the info. If someone wants to fund it, I'd be thrilled. I could focus on the content, my expertise. I could re-establish my practice again, work with babies and moms, support fatherhood, and have a home again, fix the air conditioning in my 17 year old car, get new glasses, and fix my broken tooth and a bridge that is going bad and has me in pain most of the time now. I could buy my daughter an Ipod, those new jeans she wants and she could buy all the CD's she wants.

Meanwhile, this weekend, we’re in SC to help a father start a father's group. He and his wife are activists for birth. They had just handed me $100 for gas when I read your comment. Yesterday fathers watched the trailer and contributed to pay the gas for me to be here. They are fathers whose wives have been devastated by surgical births, and whose options for a natural birth in the hospital and homebirth are now gone, and are illegal. We've been talking about the need for people with positive births to come to the aid.

I am grateful to those who supported me recently with the $15 donations to receive a copy of the ½ hour production I'll be working on.

1 comment:

caranmidwife said...

What!!! no comments yet???!!
Where is everyone?

Keep up the good work! There are many, many, many, many people, and more who are being blessed and will be blessed by the production of this film. Thank you for your hard work and sacrifice in producing this. Maybe there are men who will not like the fact that it's not 'professionally produced', but I am certain there are also many who will be so touched by it's content that they won't care. (Like I was) I just had the wonderful opportunity to be part of a healing VBAC birth. The family had experienced exactly what is described on the film at their son's birth 2 years ago. Unfortunately that birth had also negatively affected the wife's opinion of the father to the point that she was surprised that he was able to be helpful and supportive at their second birth. How sad is that? Thankfully they were able to have a beautiful VBAC where they discovered how it should be and how they can work together. I actually showed him this video and he could identify with it and I think he found it helpful to hear other men felt the same.
Keep your chin up! I believe you will receive all the support you need to see this project through to completion whether it's 'professionally' produced or not.

Buy It!

Part One: The Other Side of the Glass: a Birth Film for and About Men officially released in digital download format on June 2, 2013. Go to to purchase a digital download.

Men have been marginalized in birth for a long time. The old joke is that a man was sent off to boil water to keep him busy. I believe they were making the environment safe. Birth moved to hospitals and for forty years women were separated from their partners who was left to wait in smoke filled waiting room. Finally, he would see his baby from "the other side of the glass." Now a man can go in the birthing room and even get to hold his partner's hand during surgery. But they are still marginalized and powerless, according to the fathers I interviewed around the country.

Historically, birth has been defined by the medical establishment. The midwifery and natural birth movement now advocate for need "to educate and prepare men to protect their wife and baby" in medical environment. Seems logical ... if we process with the same illogic that got us here.

Through the voices of men - and doctors and midwives - men share heart-touching stories about how this is not workin' out. A man is also very likely to be disempowered and prevented from connecting with their newborn baby in the first minutes of life.

Now is the time for men to take back birth.

The film is about restoring our families, society, and world through birthing wanted, loved, protected, and nurtured males (and females, of course). It's about empowering males to support the females to birth humanity safely, lovingly, and consciously.

Donors, check your emails or email me at for info to download. Release on DVD is not planned at this date.

FREE online! watch Chapters 1, 2, 3, and 10 at

"Doctor's Voices" - Stuart Fischbein, MD - Part 1

Doctor's Voices - Michael Odent, MD

Human Rights Violations

Resources - Healing Birth Trauma

"The Other Side of the Glass" has the potential to open up feelings that have been denied and ignored for a very long time. How to heal the trauma of birth at any age will be addressed in the film. Meanwhile, these are pioneers in the field.

Raymond Castellino and Mary Jackson -

David Chamberlain, Ph.D. -

Judith Cohen -

Myrna Martin -

Karen Melton -

Wendy McCord, Ph.D. -

Wendy McCarty, Ph.D. -

And, many, many more all over the world at
In both relationships and life trust begets trust.
Generosity begets generosity.
Love begets love.
Be the spark, especially when it's dark.

--Note from the Universe,

"Everybody today seems to be in such a terrible rush, anxious for greater developments and greater riches and so on, so children have very little time with their parents. Parents have very little time for each other, and in the home begins the disruption of the peace of the world." - Mother Theresa